A loose *****
A torn shoe
Think twice before you paint it blue

Big numbers
Rolling thunder
The waves pull you under

Feeling down
An unhappy clown
A broken king’s crown

Feeling small
Pictures fall
I hate when birds cry their call

Scattered sticks
Magic tricks
Summer always made me sick

So fix that *****
Buy new shoes
And just paint it blue

How I feel is indescribable
I’m hardly recognizable
My fears are almost desirable
My chaos slowly likable

All I have are thoughts
Their whispers I nearly bought
The scars stretch across
It was almost a loss

Alone in my head
Alone, less than dead
My stomach feels like lead
I’m hanging by a thread

I feel more than sick
I hope it's one big trick
The words play again, “tick tock tick tock tick.”
I really wish this would be quick

Time slows down
Suddenly, there are no sounds
My heart begins to pound
My mind spins around

Eyes turn on me
All I want is to flee
I feel scared, cold, nervous, all three
They point and blame he

It goes away in a flash
The sounds come back, the booms and crash
Time is next, like floating ash
My mind no more is in a mash

I walk away
The stares don’t stay
My mind and heart are again okay
Another average school day

From the night sky, the moon gazed at a rose.
The darkness complemented all the sounds.
Under the sycamore, the rose did pose.
The winds shifted the leaves that were now browned.

A child tiptoed through the dark thorn bush.
Scratches and cuts made way across her skin.
She didn’t cry, she didn’t scream, a hush.
Closer she came to the rose as if kin.

The flower shook and quivered from her sight.
She bent under moonlight, no noise heard still.
The trees stood still, waiting for a dark fight.
The girl reached and gently felt the soft rose.

The forest breathed and sighed in relief.
She left without a sound, the night now closed.

I can't believe that the darkest enemies I have in the day could be my own kin.

I sit in closed prison, at a foggy desk, in a row with other foggy desks. The room casts a dull light that fills your vision with patterns you can't understand. The longer you strain your eyes to analyze the vague writing, the more your mind exhausts; the more the fumes consume. And as I sit in the clouded containment, growing sleepy and sad, I wish to be home.

But as I enter the doors of my warmth and living, I receive purrs and taunting. Dark figures scream in my direction. They spin around my mind until I dizzy. They blame me for things I haven't heard of. Giving reason to my own misshapen mishaps. I cower, wondering what I could have done to provoke this screaming. I cover my ears and try to escape by running up the wall to the dark ceiling. But as they catch me, my leg is pulled into a warping sensation of black. They throw me into a chair of thorns, forcing me to sit and stay in their torture room; staring and taunting me. Grinning wickedly, they coax me to talk.

"Talk."

I am terrified. I want to escape I am trapped. I never wanted to feel this way in a place I was born in.

The next day I carry a soft orb of light with me to feel comfort.

And when they smack it out of my grasp.

That's when I lose it.

The night settles in
The dark crawls on my skin
The sleepiness never comes
My heart sounds like a drum

The silence drives me crazy
My vision never gets hazy
I wish for the moon to go down
So I could hear at least one sound

The old house creaks
It feels like it's been weeks
The clock seems unmoving
My sleepiness is not improving

My eyes feel glued open
My mind feels so broken
The minutes turn to hours
My tongue is feeling sour

At 2am insanity bites
I need to turn on the lights
Where the hell is the sun?
I'll only sleep if I use the gun

The fear draws near
My vision is still crystal clear
I pray to god for sleep
I start to shake and weep

4am is when I decide
I want to tear out my eyes
The dark is my blanket
But I just want to yank it

7am. The sun is here
The sounds are back, I can finally hear
The light is now my best friend
And the night has finally come to an end

I swim in sorrow
Waiting for tomorrow
He said he loved me
Wish this couldn’t be

We made a pact
“Love you to the moon and back.”
What the hell does that mean?
You were just too keen

My heart holds on
My mind is drawn
But you destroyed it
Out stupid ”love” *******

You think I care?
You stripped me bare
And yet I do
“You love him” they coo

Love you to the moon and back
What did we lack?
I don’t know
Someday it’ll show

They say a mother's love
Is stronger than any shove
So why didn't I see it?
When this woman has a mother's permit

She walked away from me
Stumbling like she couldn't see
If it were then, I would've guided her
But now I stare and watch her blur

You don't have a right to call me your daughter
You know what you did was slaughter
Maybe if you learned to be a mother,
I wouldn't treat you like someone other

Those who dream awake
Those whose minds a lake
Reflected, deep, and cold
It's also sick and old

They see the wars
Hear the shores
Wishing they were never born
Wishing, oh, how they're worn

They are the soldiers
Searching for their closure
They listen in silence
To hear their hidden guidance

They're labeled "psychotic"
When really, they're aquatic
Swimming, sinking, diving
They're minds are quickly thriving

They see the future, past, and present
Dreamers, they represent
No more are they "schizophrenic"
They're dreams now, photogenic

Laughter cures ick
She stumbles in sick
She chuckles through tears
Laughter cures fears

Smiling cures cuts
He throws up his guts
He grins in pain
Smiling cures strain

Love cures cries
They decay in disguise
They kiss old corpses
Love cures organs

We lick our diseases
For seasons of pleases

The flashes of smoke I see
Won't let me be
They jump, dash, and hide
It's not normal inside

I become quite aware
Of the invisible stares
I pretend they don't exist
I pretend it's only mist

My eyes are far wiser than I
They see right through their lullaby
Turn away and pretend
They could be your friend

The smoke drifts away
I feel my stomach sway
If only it stayed longer
Then my vision would be stronger

The wounds cut too deep
My heart; too easily leaps
This ******* is tearing me apart
Time to sell my already sold heart

I grab my iron words
My flightless birds
This steel mask
Is filled with stronger poison than any flask

This natural high
Makes me feel alive
Why do they care
Stop me, they dare

No more crying
No more lying
I will rise again
Merciful heart for a murderers brain

The obsession
With depression
Is really a lesson

Lonely, sorrow, and hurt
Your brain is anything but alert
Nothing but a dead concert

No one understands
They reach with clenched hands
Merely making the wide hole expand

You fall deep down
You feel yourself drown
Left in a ghost town

Before you go to say,
Ask yourself, "Is this okay?"
Because the words you speak,
They will obey.

In order to live, I must die
In order to learn, I must lose my mind
In order to feel, I must lose them all
In order to listen, I must learn to not
In order to speak, I must be silent
In order to sing, I must forget to talk
In order to write, I must be still
In order to see, I must be blind
In order to smile, I must cry
I’m a walking irony, who can only learn to fly

In the dark, in the trees
A sweet, small bird sang to thee

A slow and sad melody
Written by Calamity
And sang by Insanity,

"If I was human,
Words would mean none to thee
Poets would die by sea

If I was human,
Love would disappear
Left with mere a sneer

If I was human,
Fear would be drawn to me
Children no longer see

If I was human,
Stars would turn to dust
Gold now only rust

If I was human,
Blood would be such a rush
Even Death would blush

If I was human,
Screams would be in the air
Pulling and ripping hair

If I was human,
God would be evil
And the Devil would be gleeful

Oh, if I was human,
I’d never stretch my wings
Songs now into strings

How I wish to be human."

Having diseased skin makes it harder to decay
Having these thoughts
How to make it go away
No sign says I'm okay
How am I supposed to make it through each day
Being dead for this long
Made me realize you only have you
Blood dried up
Bones now dust
No longer is my mind at bay
So wake up

Pray.

I have a monster that lives under my bed
He whispers ugly stories about being dead
I shiver in my covers; eyes wide
As his claws tickle at my side

I have a beast that lives in my closet
Often I hear her groan and *****
I hide and pretend she's not there
But at night I hear her in my rocking chair

I have creatures that live in my walls
They scratch and whisper down the hall
I squeeze my eyes shut; afraid
While they chatter about making me their slave

We children have devils in our heads
They screamed, our eyes bled
We huddle and hide, wishing and praying
But of course, they claim they are staying

A pencil in hand
Mind full of sand
You sit without a thought
Stomach in a knot

Your mind is blank
An empty, hazy fishtank
The sounds of the old house
Envy the sounds of the mouse

The clock stopped turning
Your ideas, never returning
The blank page sits
Almost ready to call it quits

Writer’s block
Devil’s lock
The colors back to monochrome
The worst kind of syndrome