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your eyes as an ocean
which I can sink in
every time I gaze at
I feel my bones burning
I found myself thinking
how my life is ending
ringing bells like singing
a goodbye as I'm leaving
I'm going to an end
to an end without you
up my way everything
turns into black and blue
hope is so far away
shades of blue turns to gray
there's nothing left to say
all I gotta do is" fade away
and never comeback again."
My love was too much
to stay alive
in such a life
2016/ 30/ 12
 Dec 2016 Bethanybelove
Michael L
A young boy embraces life, fearless!
He knows NOT the pain that's coming.
He lives, for now, in his cocoon

protected

Years go by, protection is lifted.
The world seeps through the cracks
introducing fear and self-doubt.

His once free-spirit, wanes!
He waits for loving words,

They
       rarely
                 come

What does come, often with intensity,
Are words and actions validating humanity's darkness.
Pressing into him, bringing crushing pain.
Stabbing his heart, his tender heart!

Slowly, without realizing,
he retreats from this world.
Loneliness becomes his

playmate

A cruel playmate for sure.

Now as a grown man,
He finds himself shy, tentative.
Lessons revealed and learned.

You pass him on the street,
None of his tenderness appears,
His heart tucked away,

protected!

He fears exposing even one more time,
The part of him that's most vulnerable.
His tender heart.

Better to just leave it hidden ...
 Dec 2016 Bethanybelove
Michael L
Despair is a tight suit to wear
Even inhaling is restricted
Lungs imploding from the weight
Not of happiness or hate

Void of feeling, I'm reeling, then kneeling
Family and friends offer comfort
I just brush them aside
How can I let anyone inside?

Dare I end this night with slumber
Before this fear can delight
I must will the sun to rise
For there isn't much hope at the end of a rope ...
Really just trying to rid my gripping despair tonight ... uggghhh!
 Dec 2016 Bethanybelove
Michael L
Broken things require glue
Turn around that's you

Don't stand by and watch me break
This world needs NOT another fake

Take a moment to embrace me
Your touch will set me free

Pure hands infuse humanity
Deliver it just for my sanity

There is no mistaken identity
Inside you is my serenity

One touch ... a basic need I concede
My ache is now full speed

Do not make me beg
Press in and heal my plague

Today I ooze of selfishness
You are familiar with my reticence

Guilt draws near and whispers
Push past its tiny embers

My need today transcends
Straight from you, no bends

I lay curled up in a ball
Listen, do you hear my call

From you, I plead one task
One touch ... *it's all I ask
Some days I just need a touch to know that I am still living!
 Dec 2016 Bethanybelove
Michael L
You agitate, I soothe

I laugh, you cry

You procrastinate, I plan

I toil, you sleep

You mingle, I retreat

I reach, you blench

You deceive, I release

I purify, you violate

You mystify, I enlighten

I grow, You shrink

You ignore, I explore

I create, you destroy

You devour, I nibble

I give, you take

You walk, I run

I defend, you assault

You subtract, I add

*I love, you hate
Michael Lucio ©
 Dec 2016 Bethanybelove
carolyn
it's winter
and I find myself constantly surrounded by you.
your laughter and your smile,
the way you speak and the words that form on your lips.

but it's different now.
my feelings have faded, dulled in a sense,
they do not stab me in the way they used to, for time heals,
and like the cold winter wind, I have decided to move ahead.

but I still catch a glimpse of you every now and then,
and I see that glimmer in your eyes that I saw on those late July nights,
when heat enveloped the earth and crickets hummed long into the night,
when you would look at the stars as if they were your only hope in the world.

that intelligence is still there, crystal blue, but it's winter
and I am cold.
Coming from your humble and holy
houses each morning bringing blessings, your lively and
cheerful "Good Morning!" sounds - all the power and energy
that a good life brings. Living by the light God gives you
every day, eschewing electricity,
and all of the worst that it brings with it,
teaching your children and loving your wives
with gentleness and devotion.

Ruben, Glen David, Marlin... did I spell these right?

I only heard your beautiful, traditional names in your own, clear, grounded voices,
as we began to know each other, while you travelled back
and forth, from bright and early each day, onto our ailing roof.

Tearing into four layers of old, sickly roofing tiles with your
wonderful vim and vigour, a healing began that went deep,
deeper every day, as we absorbed the precious fortune
of having you in our midst. Your chosen, Amish lives inspired
us, and still do, as we still, quite often, hear the echoes
of your footsteps above us, each one a prayer and an affirmation
of lives well-lived.

One fine afternoon, one of you stood straddling the very top of our
steep old roof line, and that image of a man mastering his craft,
invested in a life that blesses everyone he cares for,
and teaches by example, everyone he meets,
will stay with me for all of my days.
©Elisa Maria Argiro
Love is everything
Hope is inspiring
Faith is more than meets the eyes
Trust is something you earn
Pixie dust is the unseen magic all around us
Hold these things close to your heart, they will bring you happiness

Peace to those who earned it
Strength to those who worked for what they believed in
Happiness is a fickle thing

Encourage
Inspire
Lift others up
Never break them down
Show them the light

Give others love, hope, faith, trust,
Show them the pixie dust
Lead their way
Light their paths
Shine bright
So that they might see...
The light
Golden wings flutter lightly across the back of my hand, relaying to me traces of dreams only their feeble minds could capture. Soft, flickering melodies descend through their grey, wintry-like gazes, as their quiet thoughts echo through their silent, fragile words. Endless emotions reverberate from the walls of their minds, as I gaze at their rapid movement, endeavoring to weave their tales together. Still, reality and fantasy keep swimming aimlessly across my brain until finally, finally, I stroke the blank page with my pen.
  One by one, those butterflies stop, as they scrutinize the wondrous obsession which led to my desire, my passion. They watch as my fingers drum impatiently against the page, somehow sensing the troubled confines of my imagination. It wasn’t long before they stop floating by. Instead, they begin to watch me, with those intelligent, naive eyes of theirs. Whether it be from confusion or amusement, I couldn’t tell.
  Still, even with my now small audience gathering near, I am left only with a memory of what once was my own. I could only pick up my pen, and write down their movements, their thoughts and emotions, the curiosities and sanities that possessed them to be near me. I wrote down the beauty of their strong, fragile wings, all the while keeping their quiet sonnets to myself. I read and reread, write and rewrite, until there was nothing left of the forgotten, neglected space I once dreamt of.
  And so, I could only gaze back at the butterflies from my own madness, all the while looking back at the page I filled with my own words. Black words, golden words, words that carried both blessings and curses, words that tore my heart asunder, while keeping my sanity whole. Then, in that same breath, I shoo my butterflies away.
  I begin my story.
Because characters are people too, and they can be so very annoying.
He awoke to find her missing from the left side of the bed, worry taking over him as he quickly got up. his head spinning because he was half asleep.

He saw the bright light emitting from beneath the bathroom door then heard loud clanking before quiet tears began to fill the sound of the hall.

His brows knit in stress, anxiously gripping the door **** and fiercely twisting it with hopes it would open, but to his dismay it was locked.

His fists had a mind of their own as they began to pound on the bathroom door, tears streaming down his face because this was a night he had lived a couple times before.

His voice raspy from all his tears and lack of breath screamed out for her to let him in, to stop what she was doing, and listen to him.

She sat naked on the floor of the bathroom thinking about everything like she always did, thoughts racing through her mind so fast, even coursing through her blood.

Looking down at every single insecurity, every single thing she hated about herself and her body, wanting so badly to see what he loved about her and these things.

She held the scissors to her thigh, the ones she had managed to find, the ones that he had hid on her after all the other times.

Tears streaming down her face hearing him outside, her hands shaking from how hurt and betrayed his screams sounded, how loud his fists were pounding.

She took the first sharp slit across her skin then took another two, tears continuing to well in her eyes as the blood began to seep down along her knee.

She filled the bath tub with cold water and shook as she got into it, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them as she cried.

The freezing water was a way to punish herself for what she had done to herself, but mostly for what she had done to him once again after she promised last time was it.

He kept pounding at the door, getting angrier and angrier at the uncertainty of what she was doing to herself, if he was going to lose her once more.

He kicked at it hard with his bare foot, wincing in pain as he punched at the same time, the door soon giving way from all the force and falling loose from its frame.

Relief filled his whole body as he quickly pushed through, nearly stepping on the bloodied scissors lying on the floor.

His eyes still tear filled saw her shaking in the bath tub, running to her before engulfing his arms around her freezing cold body and grabbing a towel to get some blood flow back to her body.

Her lips were purple, her skin covered in goosebumps, her arms wrapped around his neck as she cried into his chest.

His breathing quickened when he saw the fresh cuts on her thighs, still red with blood.

He sat down on the floor where she had sat a couple minutes before and rocked her in his arms, protectively holding her and keeping her warm.

He kissed her all over her face before running his finger over the skin of her thigh, putting bandaids over her cuts before telling her how much he loved her and how worried he had been.

He told her how he couldn't lose her and that he loved everything she couldn't see, then carried her back to bed where she would be safe and warm in his embrace.

Another night he had saved her.

Another night he had almost lost her.

Another night he'd be up worrying and wondering what he would ever do without her and why he couldn't help her.
Something I thought about after I showered so I pieced together a semi poem/story. Other than the self harm with scissors, none of these events have happened before. They are just fiction.
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