Raindrops wail
And thunders shutter,
As my heart fears to fail
And my mouth begins to stutter.

Lightnings flash
And static grows,
As my feelings slowly crash
And deception comes.

There is a storm in my heart
A hurricane at my soul
And your name on my lips.

Was I not beautiful enough
Or you don't find me attractive anymore.
Was I there to humor you
To laugh and make merry.
Or anything for that matter to you.
You called me your sweetest memory;
How we would walk hand-in-hand
Your fingers in mine.
And just a touch, like a wand
Sent shivers down my spine.

When I stared at you
With all the love
Your eyes talked to me.
Your gaze ever-convincing.
And then came those big promises
Which made me trust you
And you alone of all people.
You liar!
You lied so beautifully and conveniently.
Always knowing that I would be back
When you shed a tear.
Even while I am trying to control mine.

Are you crazy, crazy are ya?
You kept on repeating.
The same self who once said
We were like-minded.
And crazily enough
You pushed a dagger
Into my throbbing heart
Which is still bleeding.

The way you left made me want
to wish upon a couple of stars
For every night
inside me was a war

It was the most piercing silence
I have ever heard
And it made me want to
hide from the world

I wish I could pick a star for you
So I wouldn't have to look up for a wish to come true

I wish I could hand a star to you
So you can see I can not only give
you a heavenly body
But also every speck in the
galaxy

I wish you could see
the soul within me
So you could see it was only yours
it wants to be with

I wish my arms were as long as
my agony
So I could wrap it around your entirety
Feel every warmth in your body
Breathing and absorbing the way it
fits me

I wish you could see beneath
my breaking bones
That even though I'm weak and sore
I would still without a
second thought
Carry you home

Thank you for staying alive today.
Thank you for waking up
and stretching your branches up to heaven
even though sometimes they’re too weak
to grow and reach further.
Thank you for opening your eyes
even though sometimes
the darkness is more peaceful than the light.
Thank you for deciding to take in oxygen
and never letting out of it,
never holding your breath,
Ready to dive in to the day
Ready to drown,
Ready to fight back the waters.
Thank you for staying here.
Because you matter to me,
to your friends,
to your family,
And that is enough.
You are enough.
Always.
Thank you for being a fighter.
even though sometimes you feel like
nobody notices,
nobody cares,
nobody appreciates,
and that the world is continuously
Stepping on your fingers from holding on.
Thank you for going into the world with bloodied bandages
on your arms and feet
Everyday may be a battlefield
You get wounded.
You feel that you’re weak
But wounds are not your kryptonite.
They can only make you stronger.
Because you know better
I understand that you’re below empty
I understand that you don’t want to do this anymore.
I understand how it feels like when you just want everything to stop.
But the truth is this
Life may not be the most beautiful thing in this world for you right now
but maybe someday you'll understand
that life needs to throw you into the fires,
scorch your skin,
burn your flesh,
for you
to be
reborn.

To the boy who almost bought me flowers... But the store was closed.
Or he forgot,
or he couldn't choose,
because he couldn't remember my favourite flowers,
or he didn't care.

To the boy who almost loved me well.
The boy who almost made me a wife.
The boy who almost loved my flaws, but just couldn't quite grip them.
The boy who I almost lost myself in.
The boy who almost took everything I had, everything I believed.

The boy who almost killed me.

The boy who almost won the lottery,
until he lost his beautiful winning ticket.

To the boy who hurt the girl who cared so much that she almost forgot
to love herself more.
The boy who didn't think she could wake up and realize
that she deserved more than being
"almost" happy.

Sincerely,
The girl who is almost healed,
almost clean,
almost okay,
completely done.

we wake the next morning
barely able to look at each other
torn between guilt and shame
replaying every decision
that led to this

i feel i need to apologise
for allowing you to jeopardise your forever
for a fleeting just-for-now moment

a moment purely born from lust
unadulterated passion
that made us forget who we are
this has truly shaken my core

my mind torn between the beautiful act
that consumed me for a few hours
and it's destructive consequences

my heart cries for the woman i betrayed
as much as the hatred i felt towards
the woman that did this to me once
when did i become her, the "other woman"

i hope you find your way back home
and the reasons why you strayed

now i need to say goodbye to you
to someone i never knew
a stranger i'll always remember

try to forget a memory
that will linger
like the bitter taste
of our unspoken secret