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Bailey Jun 2017
Zebras and old western movies and segregation and newspaper...
You'd like to think that I'd like to think that they are real,
But nothing is that simple.
Nothing is so fuzzy and dated and clarified.
Because he smiled as he smacked and she cried tears when she sympathized.
The world is not this or that and emotions are not happy or sad and people are not him or her.
It is not black and white or even the greyest gray.
Its saturated with colors that make me oh so dizzy and lost.
And I begged him for the answers he did not have,
And I flooded her with questions, never thinking of the consequences that came with partial responses.
I called out for peace, though the war is inside me.
Constant debates on what is wrong and what is right, but nothing
Nothing is black and white.
Times New Roman stares at me, glimmering brilliantly.
I am not two halves and they are not monsters and you are not angels.
The voices in my head are not so generous.
They would speak into crackling microphones
and tell me how unspoken language works.
They are with the times and so am I, but I am universal where nothing else is.
There are no opposites.
Nothing can help me but my refusal to accept everything as anything other than a spectrum of somethings.
Bailey Apr 2016
He's a stupid, selfish *******.
An immature little boy in a man's body who wanted to be like his father and get away from his mother.
Joining the military was--for him--like a little girl wishing to be a princess.
I could never convince him otherwise, even with facts and statistics and love.
He didn't want to stay for me, didn't want to stay with me.
But I don't care about that part.
I care that he's a stubborn little **** who thinks he's going to be a hero in people's eyes.
But it's not heroic if you ache for the recognition, the fame and glory and honor.
"So I can be somebody" he says.
So people will shake his hand in the store, he means.
He wants so badly to be this stereotype
that he will ignore the people
who love him,
and someday
he will become a crying,
scared,
traumatized mess in his bed sheets,
when the wars are done.
I only congratulate myself for leaving him,
because I won't be around when that happens.
This is what you left me for, Boy.
I hope it's worth it.
I hope you make your Daddy proud,
because I didn't.
I can't hug you goodbye
because of that
awful thing you did to me.
I blame you.
I blame you for everything.
For throwing away
everything we could have had
like it was a messy drawing.
You should have hit me,
screamed at me--something!
Should've done something more than cheat on me
because I still love you.
And for that, I hate you.
You stupid, selfish boy,
not letting me send you off
before you fight for your pride--
oops, I mean
America.
first time feeling bitter
Bailey Apr 2016
the sound of your voice,
still stunned from the accident
is still haunting me
" yeah, he's dead "
no
no please
it's okay don't talk about it
don't think about it please
please, please be okay.
You're alive thank god you're alive
so don't think about it
it's okay
I'm so sorry
I love you so much.

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
in any religion, please pray for my brother tonight. Please he was in a car accident and he's okay but he's pretty beat up please help him. I love him so much he's such a good boy please help.
Bailey Mar 2016
The way your eyes light up,
I can tell.
In your loving gaze,
I can tell.
The way you speak with so much care,
you’re a princess Natalie, you’re a princess, I swear.
Somewhere along the royal line,
a precious baby got left behind.
I followed your rays,
and somehow,
you came to be mine.
The way you smile so genuinely,
I can tell.
In your adorable rosy cheeks,
I can tell.
Your furrowed brow, your thoughtful stare,
you’re a princess Natalie, you’re a princess I swear.
I watched you from far away,
but now I have to be brave.
I’ll be a good knight,
because I can see,
you’re a princess,
you’re a princess,
you’re a princess, Natalie.
Bailey May 2016
I am *****, stained, old couches
I am hot pink with skulls and crossbones
I am pure white billowing flower petals

I see clear expressions
I see mainstream dreams
I see consistency, constancy

I am muddy orange
I am sunlight
I am wet grass

I see normal
I see plain
I see unaffected, calm and collected

I can never be what I see
I have never been what I've seen

And that is why
I always cry.
my life story, in one short poem
Bailey Mar 2016
Friends are flowers in the garden of life,
In spring bloom as husband or wife.
An addition to family,
Until the very end,
No flaw too great, for a lifelong friend.
The rose she was pretty,
But needed much on her platter.
The tulip, he said, dis'proved of the matter!
And so they wilted, both in different lines,
'Til they finally crossed,
When the sun had to shine.
The rose she realized,
Had enough to carry.
The tulip he said, all beauty varies.
And so they grew on, until their very end.
No flaw too great, for a lifelong friend.
this poem doesn't really make sense, I wrote it years ago but I like how it sounds
Bailey Oct 2016
I don't think you understand how warm and beautiful orange sunlight is.
Orange sunlight pouring through dusty windows.
Dusty windows and the scent of vanilla brown sugar body lotion.
Vanilla brown sugar body lotion and pumpkin pie.
Pumpkin pie with thick whipped cream on top.
These are the magical days of autumn in California.
In the morning the grass is dewey.
In the night the air is cool.
Roses are yellow and brown at the edges.
I hope one day you'll see it too...
Bailey Feb 2017
I was happier as a martyr than I ever will be while serving myself.
Though my empathetic nature may put me at unease at times,
it is the happiness deep down within the cool, dark soil of my soul that truly matters.
I've tried so hard to change this essential part of my being,
because others told me that it made me weak,
but I see now what they fail to.
When I put myself first, I feel sick to my stomach.
There is an itch that desires to be scraped, and it is not anything that treating myself has the claws to scratch.
No, when I put others first, that is when I feel bigger than myself.
I don't feel like one of seven billion.
I don't feel like a speck in the space.
By helping and staying constantly connected to those around me--enemies and friends--I am spread out farther than I would be,
sitting inside myself.
Say what you want about me.
That I am weak and gullible and forgiving and target-worthy.
But in the end, I am happiest when I help others.
And in the end, the universe will feel the smallest, quickest brush on its hand.
And that brush will be me.
Bailey Dec 2016
I'm okay with cracking my knuckles and sitting down
.
Duckworth
.
College applications
.
"C'mere" makes me melt
.
Nose rings
.
Reminds me of when we crashed
.
Winterfest
.
Movies and cuddling
.
Lily and Taco
.
Happy Hospital Thanksgiving
.
Big red man looks small and fragile, but his bite still hurts
.
Childhood nightmare watching t.v. and sleeping downstairs
.
The flood
.
Sleeping with mom
.
Forgetting to add to this poem
.
Deep, beautiful, drawn out kisses
.
Tongues are little people
.
A kitten's cry
.
Eggs and seeds are the same thing, right?
.
Sorry its a lil late
Bailey Dec 2017
Violated constantly in the place I call home
.
Taking him home
.
Brick entryway
.
Not his kind of pretty, not her kind of handsome
.
What if I'm okay and I just don't know it
.
Dirt on my face
.
The question isn't "what will happen to me if I do?" It's "what will happen to them if I don't?"
.
Dreams of Hawaii
.
It critmiss
.
Pretty short because I'm living and loving well
Bailey Oct 2016
He touches my face when he kisses me
.
Alarm set for 10:20
.
"The moment I saw you, I fell in love and you smiled because you knew"
.
You mean everything to me
.
"The day that I ask you...is the day that I die. Then, I'll be reborn again, and start my life with you"
.
I love the way our lives hold hands, it feels so nice
.
I trust him to love me the way I am
.
Kiss like lovers, hug like old friends, because we are
.
Adults who don't drive
.
Clouds that look like heaven
.
Men with ponytails
.
Passion is love and hate
.
Sometimes the tears that stroke my face are like wet, gentle fingers
.
It's okay
.
Twas a good, heavy month
Bailey Nov 2017
It's so nice to put my song book on the shelf again
.
Novelty
.
C+
.
Appointments
.
Sad and sleepy, Billie Holiday plays
.
What matters is that I love myself
.
And all of the children and all of the townspeople and all of the angels and all of me told him happy birthday
.
Don't play house
.
I feel like a failure
.
"One of the most dangerous things you will ever do in your life is actually listen"
.
I love the smell of white noise in the afternoon
.
Three sets of keys all piled into one
.
I don't want to be a maybe, I want to be a dream
.
Lovers?
.
Ke$ha concert
.
I trapped him in my hips
.
I never knew how bad I wanted to slow dance to Patsy Cline until it happened with him
.
I fold up the second time and put it in my pocket
.
Happiness
.
Bailey May 2016
It's a normal day and I am on my way to class.
I reach my destination but I stand very still, remembering the incident from the day before.
The door, it opens for me.
Rather, my teacher opens it for me.
He looked at me with his knowing eyes and asked,
"are you going to come in?"
I could not speak,
my throat cemented shut with guilt and shame and fear.
I look at the door,
then him,
the door,
him,
door,
him.
Then, I look at nothing.
The cement cracks and bursts as the loudest sound I have ever heard rips out of me.
A scream, no, a whistle?
It is a scream, a three second scream.
But it is not the last.
A thousand screams fill the air.
By the fifteenth scream, I can no longer hear.
Just feel them come out of me like a hundred bees,
stinging on their way out.
My mouth is stretched out so wide,
the corners bleeding
and I can feel the streams of blood run down my neck
which is bent so  far back.
And I know they won't stop soon.
Because these are all of the screams that I've held in.
For nine years
of some voices
some hallucinations
and a lot of intrusive thoughts.
When I can see again it is nighttime,
my throat and mouth and ears ******.
There is my mom, and a strange face beside me.
They lead me to a truck,
my mom is crying and hugging and kissing me.
Handing the stranger some of my clothes.
I get in the truck,
and hope for the best.
not a true story but somewhat possible someday
Bailey Mar 2016
Our bodies are poetry
from soft to smooth to hard
our bodies are poetry
freckled, shaped and scarred

Our mouths are dancers
unchoreographed, with memory
our fingers are virgins
gentle and trembling

Our eyes, are passerbys
our noses, cuddling cubs
our arms, reconnecting friends
our knees buckle with every touch

Our bodies are poetry
fitting into every groove
our bodies are poetry
from hard to soft to smooth
Out
Bailey Mar 2016
Out
I am the chipping paint on the walls, I am the scenery. I am the abstract painting that others try to read, but need not a reason to me. I am the decoration to the soiree, admired but not touched. I am the controversial conversation, hated and loved. I am the quiet, the loud, the humble, the proud. I am me, slowly slinking out. I am the loner, the watcher in the crowd. I scream, without a sound. Snapping you into focus, yes, I'm slowly slipping out.
Bailey Mar 2016
I walk around as acrylic.
But when I'm selfish I wish I'm watercolor, so that...ya know, maybe I could start my life over with ease.
I live most days as acrylic.
Some days are really hard. That's when I'm oil, and the pressures of it all build up and build up and harden so fast...
I'm constantly reminded that I can't erase a color. I have to keep going.
Layerlayerlayer STOP
Wait, wait I'm turning grey--
I mean gray...
Just wait it out. It's okay. Don't throw my canvas away.
I'm acrylic.
Another color,
There's a layer.
I'll hang up forever.
To be looked at,
and maybe loved.
I walk around as acrylic.
Bailey May 2016
In high school, at my school
if it's a beauty race, I'm losing.

If puberty has gotten to me,
I'm ******* out of reproducing.

They own plain, pretty faces
while I do not.

Whatever, shut up
I'll just adopt.
Bailey Mar 2016
In a world where we know not when each will expire,
We still yield ourselves from each desire.
Our burning passions from our past,
Seem to make no change,
But any day could be the last,
So no matter the time, play the game.
Bailey Jun 2016
The Dispatch: "Are you still proud to be a ******* American?"
(Referring to the recent killing of Christina Grimmie and fifty other innocents.)

Me: "What???
First of all, I never said I was "proud" to be American.
Second, I don't think of myself as an American, I just see me as MYSELF.
Third, I was correcting you for being biased about ALL Americans, based on some awful Americans.
Lastly, just because I am between the Canadian and Mexican borders does not give you or anyone else the right to view me as/imply that I am similar to a sorry excuse for a human being who MURDERED someone.
You do not know anything about me, you do not know what kind of person I am. You do not know my neighbor across the street, you did not know the man that shot and killed Christina Grimmie. You do not know the next name of the person who will commit homicide in YOUR country.
Killing is, I believe, the worst crime that anyone can commit...but it happens everywhere. It doesn't matter what the statistics are, a life is a life.
Christina Grimmie was born just like you were; was a human just as you are. She was these things just as an unknown person is, somewhere else in the world who might regrettably lose their life to the hand of another.
It's true that you don't know me, so you don't know if I am or ever will be like the handful of murderers that I unfortunately share a country with. But you should not label me as such a dreadful, DREADFUL thing.
Don't be prejudice against anyone, no matter where they come from. I sincerely hope that no other people are hurt by your nasty words--especially in times of tragedy."
Bailey Mar 2016
It's people in the halls wondering
what you're thinking about
then being shocked when
reading stanzas is how they really find out
It's getting 3rd when you should've gotten first place and it's
freshman year when you finally got to second base it's
wisdom and laughter and pain and disaster
it can put you in here times, before times or after
I don't just want you to be heard,
I want you to infect people with words
to permanently stain their premature brains
But how to put sense into something so dense?
Some are tasteless, lacking variety
not their faults, just the affects of society
Born in a world where creativity is judged
yeah leave that hand go hold a grudge
no
don't let them tell you you're incapable,
show them you're unbreakable
We don't let anything stop us
--sexuality, religion, race--
it's time for ambitions to take their rightful place
Keep looking up
take down their shrouds
When down here it's too loud
put your head in the clouds
We can escape corners by ripping the box off
by writing stuff that knocks Shakespeare's socks off
It's standing up in class and saying we shouldn't be in it
I knew I was wrong but I went and I did it
I remember my friends calling me crazy and wild but
I know I only did it 'cause since I was a child I
knew that one day
I'd get to speak out
And I knew if I spoke, it'd have to be loud
And if I spoke loud it'd be in front of a crowd
though crowds are what I fear most
And I never thought I'd become your host
and I'm wondering what you think of me now?
But I just want you to help me spread
to show other kids who are stuck in their heads
that contrary to what those naysayers have said--
poetry
is not dead

(here is link)
https://soundcloud.com/iguessimbaileymartin/poetry-is-not-dead
Spoken word but I figured I'd share. I wrote this initially when I was pres. of poetry club and wanted to express how much I feel about this lovely art form.
Bailey Mar 2016
It's people in the halls wondering
what you're thinking about
then being shocked when
reading stanzas is how they really find out
It's getting 3rd when you should've gotten first place and it's
freshman year when you finally got to second base it's
wisdom and laughter and pain and disaster
it can put you in here times, before times or after
I don't just want you to be heard,
I want you to infect people with words
to permanently stain their premature brains
But how to put sense into something so dense?
Some are tasteless, lacking variety
not their faults, just the affects of society
Born in a world where creativity is judged
yeah leave that hand go hold a grudge
no
don't let them tell you you're incapable,
show them you're unbreakable
We don't let anything stop us
--sexuality, religion, race--
it's time for ambitions to take their rightful place
Keep looking up
take down their shrouds
When down here it's too loud
put your head in the clouds
We can escape corners by ripping the box off
by writing stuff that knocks Shakespeare's socks off
It's standing up in class and saying we shouldn't be in it
I knew I was wrong but I went and I did it
I remember my friends calling me crazy and wild but
I know I only did it 'cause since I was a child I
knew that one day
I'd get to speak out
And I knew if I spoke, it'd have to be loud
And if I spoke loud it'd be in front of a crowd
though crowds are what I fear most
And I never thought I'd become your host
and I'm wondering what you think of me now?
But I just want you to help me spread
to show other kids who are stuck in their heads
that contrary to what those naysayers have said--
poetry
is not dead

(here is link)
https://soundcloud.com/iguessimbaileymartin/poetry-is-not-dead
Bailey Mar 2016
Dream of the possible colors to splay, onto the blank canvas of future days.
Dream of the possible journeys to make, now that you’ve realized all of your mistakes.
Dream of the possible sights to see, in the world so kindly offered to thee.
a lot of old poems tonight
Bailey May 2016
If I had a quarter for every single time that I held my tongue instead of speaking my mind,
then I could have a mansion.

A big ol' mansion, with shiny things inside
that I'd never touch, scared they'd break, oh I'd
have a butler who I'd feel guilty for,
making food and answering the door.
My face would be on some magazine
for gluttonous people who try to stay lean.

Would my music exist?
Would I exist?
My friends would warn me,
but I'd insist
that the money was worth it,
that my patience deserved it.

If I had a quarter for every single time that I held my tongue instead of speaking my mind,
then I could have a mansion.

A big ol' mansion, with zero friends inside
comfy bed but I'd cry every night.
No mom to sing my heart out to,
no Marie to say "be good to you".
My chef would make boring food
with no onions or peeples to chew.

Would my paintings exist?
Would I exist?
Without my mother's encouragement,
would this be it?

If I had a quarter for every single time that I held my tongue instead of speaking my mind,
then I would give them all back.

A little ol' house, with my loved ones inside
that's all I need to stay alive.
I may have been kicked while I was down,
doesn't mean that I can't stick around.
I've learned from my quiet days
that you shouldn't speak up without something to say.

So my art exists.
So my heart exists.
All my people are lovely,
I'm so thankful they love me.
And maybe now,
I will think out loud,
after all, you're listening
and I'm still around.
https://soundcloud.com/iguessimbaileymartin/quarters-and-love
Bailey Jun 2016
I know that where ever you are, you're okay. I love you, good night forever.
Bailey Apr 2016
Minutes without you
those stupid, painful minutes
feel so much longer
beeb
Bailey Apr 2016
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
beeb
Bailey Mar 2016
Happy Birthday, my bucket of sarcastic sunshine.
My sassy baby, with so much love to give.
With the biggest heart around, always weighing you down.
May your sixteenth year of life be one of the best.

When nothing is right, but nothing is particularly wrong,
There is Samm, there to care.
When you need a lipstick encased enchantress to cheer you up,
There is Samm, there to care.
When no one will laugh at your stupid jokes,
There is Samm.
When you need to compare your life to T.V. shows,
There is Samm.

When I need something better than morning coffee--
Samm, always
When I want laughter from the prettiest of comedians--
Samm, always
When I gotta cry in class--
Samm, always
When it gets so bad we need to rent an actor--
Samm, always
When loving someone is all that needs to matter--
Samm, always

Samm is more than you think
Samm is more than you know
Samm is more to me than
anyone will ever be.

Samm, always.
Happy Birthday Samm
Bailey Oct 2016
"maybe I'm broken, but I was never built like you"
.
I wonder if actors portray what life really is, or what they read in their scripts...and I wonder if people portray what they grew up to be, or what they saw on the screens
.
there was something so attractive about starving myself
.
this whole town is us, baby
.
my world is only emotion, my only world is emotion
.
"I had a dream that I was fine"
.
as soon as I felt that smile against my lips
.
"and there still lingers the belief that a dictionary definition is a satisfactory description of an idea or of an experience"
.
I like that he's been in more places than I, will always have experienced an extra year of life
.
there's always been something so comforting about commercials
.
it's like my life did a double take as it was passing yours, and stopped to say hello
.
whisper, please...
.
a short one this month, but there ya go. Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, but I will post more soon.
Bailey Sep 2017
"Listen with the ear of your heart"
.
Helping Others Migrate and Evolve
.
"We met with a goodbye kiss"
.
Be kind to yourself
.
Steps
.
No reason not to run
.
You messed with the hardest
.
"Pick your chin up off the floor"
.
Discouraged
.
I hope I'm pretty
.
First video
.
Coming out
.
Fairly simple
.
Soft spoken
.
I realized after I said it that it was true
.
Therapy and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
.
"Let me stop you right there"
.
My hand feels like winter
.
High on independence
.
Ink bleeds through the soft, soft paper
.
"Injustice anywhere affects justice everywhere"
.
First month of college
Bailey Jul 2016
She's the angel by my side
warming me up like
the little dusty heater
from my childhood
with the white chipped paint flying
with every gust of lukewarm air.

She's my dryer lint and cigarette ash
that fills my nose and
in one swoop
scoops me up and sends me
on my back through
waves of subtle, glittery euphoria.

She's the disney-golden violin
in all my favorite songs
and movie moments
that make me feel sleepy shimmery
and inspired
to do great things with myself
and the innocent world.

She's the wet painting that I sit and watch dry,
I can't tear my eyes away from her because
I'm so astonished that
a few primary colors
could mix to make her in
all her swirling, glossy glory.

She's the past
in fruit-loops and
cartoon terms,
clad in hot pink memories,
black sequins and early 2000's.

She's the foreseeable future that I want--
have always wanted...
out the window there's
peaches and sunshine,
leaves on the grass,
and inside there's
a shiny, silver sink with
matching dishes in the basin.

She's the hug to my need,
the soft, concerned word to my tears,
the need that I love to hug,
the tears that I pat dry with
soft, concerned words.

She's the brick bridge
on her way to beautiful chapters filled with trees and I'm
the abutment that
watches each giddy step
with happy tears
in my blurry blue eyes.

She's the missing piece I need
to fill the shard-shaped hole
in my pinky-purple-orange
stained glass prophecy,
and I hope she doesn't mind
if I want to be with her
all the time.

She's the soul,
the glowing, pulsing, electric blue and
iridescent soul
surrounded by
a lean body and
brown eyes and
bifocals and
hair colors and
makeup and
clothes.

She's the cold rain on my
hot, emotional head
and she drips down my hair
slides to my forehead,
down my nose,
mixing with my overflowing tears from
my eyes acting as mirrors
to the purple lightning before me
and
she slowly runs down my chin,
calming me down with
controlled chaos.

She is the first flower I spot,
blinding white, long petals
in the corner of my vision
when my head is hung in defeat.

She is the second flower I watch
unfurl as I lift my head to see more
stretching and waking
from the dewy grass so
I stand and see more of her
rows of her,
billowy petals reflecting the morning sun.

She is the 60th flower I see
as the others lead my line of sight
up to a patch of light,
nearly six feet tall and
she is the flower I see
when she steps out in front of the sun
to reveal a smile
so pure and child-like,
that it surely grew every blade of grass
in the field that
I sink to my knees on
as I look up
at the blooming girl before me.

She is my friend,
my family,
my muse,
my love,

my beeb,

forever.
poem for her
Bailey Jun 2016
His strong hands gripped me everywhere, he knew my sensitive places.
My eyes shone due to my intense obedience and humiliation.
I started to perspire in an excitable way.
My legs began to shake.
I could feel his affection through his endless kiss.
I felt intimidated.
He loved me.

I can still feel his indomitable hands around me, he knows my vulnerable spots.
My eyes glisten from my potent passiveness and embarrassment.
I break out in nervous sweats.
My legs are trembling.
I can feel his devotion in an infinite smack.
I feel terrorized.
He's attached to me.
Bailey Mar 2016
You’ve heard of us, I’m sure. We’ve been corrupting the living since life was old enough to be corrupt.
We are why humans scrub, rinse, wash up, wipe down, and die.
At first, we were just travelers. Useless wanderers floating through space and content with having no purpose at all.
Until one of us bumped into, and sunk into, something with a dangerous potential. Something intricate with all sorts of systems that would soon be tainted with this single bump.
It was nice, I guess the first one might have thought, To feel more important than this thing with all of the potential in the world. To corrupt it.
Not all of us damage humans for the sport of it, like Arenavirus Infection, Fibromyalgia, Cryptococcosis, Tuberculosis, Cancer, and many others do.
Some are just afraid of humans. They attack them because they are afraid of the medicines they create, which doesn’t make any sense because in doing this they singularly are more likely to be killed.
Most do enjoy making peoples ill.
The more competitive ones have made rules.
Alright, they’d say, Next one to swim in this lake will catch me.
If they aren’t wearing a coat, and it is below sixty degrees Fahrenheit, their defenses are down and they deserve us.
Well, they shouldn’t be so vain as to purposefully tan their skin.
More points to whoever claims the one with the feeble immune system.
I however, do not feel that it is necessary to attack the humans. We are, after all, supposed to be wanderers.
I am Influenza. I wholly, have killed or touched millions of humans.
I singularly, as .253667IFL, have never touched any object at all and probably won’t for thousands of years to come.
And while I have made this decision and while I don’t believe that it is necessary to attack humans and while I have the potential to, I do not feel sympathy toward the humans.
It is not because I am unlike them, in fact it’s just the opposite.
If there is anything Earth’s Illnesses can agree on, it is something that we have all learned in our travels:
That it is impossible for one to pity something that shares the same potential as them.
Bailey Mar 2016
Forget me not, O lovely one, until your last setting sun, that wavers in comparison to your marvelous eyes and crumbles forth as I am paralyzed, by your beauty, strength and your power of will, I'll love your caring heart until the day it stills.
old poem about written for first love
Bailey Mar 2016
All Were Bore On Different Days
All In Many Different Ways
One's Wit Is Like No Other
So Steal Away From Covet's Cover
Bailey Nov 2016
do you want to sleep in a sweater with me. . . swim in a comforter with me. . . listen to soft music with me ?

do you want to whisper a while. . . let me kiss your smile. . . make a two - person - kitten - pile ?

do you want a white wall behind us. . . silver glitter and moon dust. . . spread out , compacted , vitamin trust ?

do you want these things that i want ?

do you want me in the way that i want
you ?

in all of the ways that i want you ?

it's okay if you do ,
because me too .

do you want to ?
Bailey Mar 2016
I meet them
I assess them
I then show off
the attributes I have
that remind me of them

I fill in
for what they need
I eat
their insecurities
like candy

I seem so perfect
and then there's...
that one thing
there's always
that one thing

That reason
for which I can't stay
and I've made them stronger
given them everything

But I've left
with the most
delicious part
their hearts
My much too raw poem, inspired by Spencer
Bailey Jun 2016
I was taught to add and subtract at the age of four. My twenty year old mother would sit me down on the grass while waiting for my aunt to get out of high school, and teach me my numbers on her big, scarred hands. I was five when I realized something that would change me for the rest of my life. The number six and the number four are both just one away from being a solid five.
At six years old, my classmate and I were given our daily snacks. My friend had gotten six crackers, while I got four. I asked, “may I have a *******?” She reminded me that I had already gotten my napkin-full of crackers. “But if you give me one, we will both have five.” She bugged her eyes at me.
“I wanna have more,” she said. I shook my head at her, and ate my four crackers.
I wanted to participate in my elementary school’s food drive when I was ten years old, and in fifth grade. I was motivated to make a change for families in need of canned food. When I went home and asked my mom for cans, she explained to me that the cans that my schoolmates were donating would probably end up in our pantry, because we get our food from the local foodbank. I looked up at our pantry. I saw some dusty cans in the back that hadn’t been touched, and multiple cans next to them. I then remembered when we didn’t have even one can, and thought of the families who didn’t have even one can right then. And then I thought: But we have six, and they have four...
A homeless man and I both had five the day I bought him a sandwich when I was fourteen.
My best friend had four when she was sexually abused, and I gave up one when I shoved past the school security guards and got her to the hospital at the age of fifteen.
The year I turned sixteen I figured I had six when I realized there was an unfairness at my school. I gave my fellow students one when I convinced the principal to make a change about it, after being sent to him for disturbing the class with my speech.
I gave up one of my six when I turned seventeen and wrote the inspiring story of my brother’s car crash, for all of the people with four in their broken hearts.
As long as I have six, I will continue to give one. I won’t stop until everyone has five, and the world is one big ten.
Bailey Apr 2016
As I get more sleepy,
I try my hardest to let my thoughts float
above the merciless waves that are my mind,
so that I may get
the tiny nightmares
instead of the big ones.
Bailey Mar 2016
I sat in the grass, under the sun, and found a tiny bug in my hair.
It was orange with a gray **** and itsy bitsy wings.
It did not fly away when I picked it up, but it just roamed aimlessly on my hand.
What shocked me was that I couldn't feel the bug at all,
not even when it hiked over my individual finger hairs.
I watched it walk like it had a purpose,
and looked at the way my porcelain skin divided into the colors of the rainbow in the sunlight.
And then I realized, not for the first time, that the universe can't even feel me on it's hand.
Bailey Mar 2017
Skin pulled tight over nimble fingers
Light playing over moving knuckles it's
Euphoric and I
Moan at the ache
In my abused hands

Dry and begging
To be put under the scalding water and
Massaged with soft soap
Frothing and slipping through each
Fold and unfold

Prayer hands come and go for
Minutes until
The water runs cold and I
Dry off and watch and feel again
But I want more and more

I want to do this all night until I bleed and

I might.
Bailey Mar 2016
I know that this body
Only harbors the real me
The me that was always meant to be.
Bailey Apr 2016
everything smells better
everything looks better
everything tastes better
sounds better
feels better
i feel better
i get so, so sad
in the winter
but in the spring
i am born again
my senses come back to life
i only wish
i weren't mind-sick
this spring
but
it will be okay

it's always okay.
my birthday is in 3 days, wow.
Bailey Apr 2016
Today I said goodbye,
Today I drew the line
And though it's painful,
I can't be faithful
And let you make me cry.

I don't want you to hold me,
I just wanted you to know me
All I wanted was,
A friend because
We both were very lonely.

I love you so,
I don't want to go
Been so sweet,
Swept me off my feet
It was so hard to take things slow.

But I can't stay,
And live this way
You make me sad,
And I make you mad
So there is nothing left to say.
end of a frendship
Bailey May 2016
I am a star gazer, too.
I gaze at him, in all of his starry forms.
The form that is a glint in the sky,
so far up, that no one can bring him down
while he works on what gives him another form--
the super-star.
A label that is rightful to him,
given to him because of
his shiny, ethereal words.
And lastly, and more importantly,
he is a sea star.
Being thrown around in this big, stupid ocean.
He clings to his rocks but sometimes
the waves are too rough
and a piece of him is brutally torn off,
as he has told me, happened recently.
Have no fear, Star.
Because everyone knows that sea stars regenerate quickly.
You will forever be,
floating,
shining,
growing,
Star Gazer.
A poem for a great poet, that deserves some love. All my hugs to you in your time of healing.
Bailey May 2016
Why do I want to hug strangers all the time?
Bailey Mar 2016
Give me bruises,
So I cherish my fair skin.
Give me headaches,
So I enjoy the silence.
Make me cry,
So I appreciate when I'm dry.
Put me down,
So I'll always be going up.
If I fall,
I guarantee I'll stand up proper.
If I break,
I'll fix everything else.
Give me horror, so that I recognize true beauty.
Give me sickness, so that I am grateful for health.
Give me sorrow, so that I smile the biggest at the opportunity.
Tell me I'm terrible,
So that I'll always try harder.
Give me all you've got. I want to be stronger.
Another old poem
Bailey Mar 2016
I prepare for the future by doing my homework, but the music in the background is the future I want.
"You're my little prodigy child"
"Still doing good in school, Bailey?"
Rivals
"Oh my god, you wrote that?"
"That sounds like it could be on the radio"
"Was that you singing in the stall? Keep it up!"
Guess which make me happier.
Guess which shouldn't.
Yep, they're the same.
Stupid dreams.
Bailey Nov 2018
This suffering has become too much for my mind and my body to handle.

I am angry with You because You broke me before I had a chance to grow. You were supposed to be the one person in the world who made me feel
safe,
loved, and
cared for. You
manipulated me. You
used me. You
abused me. You
ruined me before I ever met those who crippled me. The worst part is that I will always love You more than anyone else in this world...and when You die I will feel forever empty.

I hate YOU because YOU knew that I was
younger and more
vulnerable and used that to
maim me. I can never enjoy my life again because of YOU. Every day of my life is
violated and
defiled by YOU in the same way YOU
tortured me in those three months. The worst part is that it has been five years and YOU are still happily living and breathing somewhere out there. I want YOU to die.

I am terrified of you because you hold all of the power and you do not and will not care about my life. You don't care if I die. You are
ruthless and
disgusting like Satan himself. You are
vile and
cruel and
apathetic. The worst part is that I see you every day and I can never hide.

i love you, but you scare me. i shake when i think about giving all of myself to you. i am alone forever in my existential thoughts that you can never enter. your touch feels wonderful...so warm and comforting. if i let myself enjoy you...you precious soul...you'll just be ripped away from me like
every
other
almost
happy
thing. the worst part is that the only way to protect me is to not let myself believe you love me. please love me.

I am desperate. Clutching on for dear life to anyone and hugging until I turn blue. I am
trembling and
peeing and
crying. I am
screaming and
bleeding and
struggling. The worst part is that nobody knows that I am a child who just wants a hand to hold.

Life is meaningless and horrible. I feel grimy and disgusting, twisting in and out of all of their scraping hands as I walk miserably
on and
on and
on.

I'm dying. I mean it--I am dying.

Someone help me.
Someone touch me.
Someone care about me.

I'm dying.
all I want is to be happy and safe
Bailey Mar 2016
I've met boys like you.
Sweet, so sweet.
I've met three, to be exact.
It took a year for the third
Three months for the second
Just a day for the first
To hurt me.
All three in different ways.
All three haunting me.
Part of me wonders how long it will take for you
To hurt me.
A bigger part of me doesn't want to find out.
and yet, this makes me a bad person
Bailey Mar 2016
I love that piece of you I rarely find
The one that slips out and shines in your eyes

You spit out poison that blinds
I'm dull, stop feeding me empty lies


I don't see how you feel that way
Do you say what you say, to scare me away?

I feel that way because I don't deserve you
You're the ray of sunshine and the sky's blue


And why, do you think, that the sky stays still?
Because you, my love, are the clouds that fill

Clouds eventually will be a downpour
And even the skies might fall


If you won't accept my affectionate words
How then, can I give you it all?

You should be free like birds?
There's no rise for me, only fall


You forget, I am the sky
I can't fall with you, but to lose you is to die

I NEVER ASKED YOU TO FALL FOR ME
but I should have just drowned at sea


Why can't you love me enough
To stick around?

You are too good for me,
You'll only break me later


Give me a fighting chance
I won't let you down

Your words are like a lance
They force me to form a frown


All I want is to love you, take you down from the shelf
But how can I love someone, who can't love himself?
Collaboration between Star Gazer and I. Star Gazer bold and I italics.
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