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Silly little girl,
Don't fool yourself,
You've seen your scars,
Just don't want to help,

Little do they know,
How much could change,
With three little words,
*Are you okay?
Sometimes we needed fantasy
To keep us going tru life's harsh reality
We needed to dream big dreams
To keep us awake
We needed affection to make us stronger
Keeping us real not fake..
Freaky (02/18/15)
 Feb 2015 Ashley Nicole
Pax
unworthy
 Feb 2015 Ashley Nicole
Pax

I keep losing a piece of myself every time I feel unworthy of your time,
          then I realized it’s not you, it’s me wasting my time in pleasing you.
      So I stop and pick-up the pieces of what’s left,
                  for me to move on and start caring for myself.

There are times when you give everything to the point that you don’t know yourself anymore, then you realize you had enough.

I wrote this when I was trying to write a mini booklet quotes of self-worth, reminders to self. The first is here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/764171/self-worth/
If Depression was a color,
It would be Black
As Black as a Midnight Sky.
If Depression was a taste
It would be just like Tears.
If Depression was a feeling
It would be as Bad as a Downing But Alive.
If Depression was a smell
It would be Like choking as a Puff of smoke.
If Depression was a sound,
It would be As slient as a The dead of night.
 Feb 2015 Ashley Nicole
Sandy
Waves
 Feb 2015 Ashley Nicole
Sandy
The waves won’t stop after you leave
They won't wash away all the memories
The moon won't stop controlling the tides
But the world won't stop for anyone,
Neither will I
It's time for a goodbye.
Insomniac nights are so lonely and
Bizarre, with the medicine not working
Tossing and turning, half awake hallucinating
Sad and confused and fed up and bitter
Praying for sleep, or death, or relief
In the back of my mind wondering
If I'd ever fall asleep sad with you by my side
 Feb 2015 Ashley Nicole
Jeanette
The time I first saw Picasso's Blind Man;
there was a loneliness I was unaware
that color, alone, could produce.
Picasso lost his friend & his home,
& I understood why
he mourned for years, in Cobalt blue.

My Mother has kept my Father's last name
for longer than she's known her own.
My father has forgotten who he is so
they hardly speak anymore.
She still carries his torch even knowing
that he may never come home.

I climb the mountains to forget how much
I hate this city.
I watch them from below when I just
want to admire true beauty.
From the bottom, so sacred & somber,
they resemble an elephant sleeping,
surrounded by wild flowers
ready to return home.
this is loosely based on another poem of mine called "mercury in Retrograde?" I will throw them in a collection soon called Empty Home.
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