You pulled back your fishing pole and cast the line.
Me, being the fish in the equation, bit the bait on the line.
I waited and waited, day and night, to be pulled in.
Waited to be caught, waited to be yours.
But that day never came.
I swam up to the surface to see if you were still there.
The line had been cut and you were nowhere to be found.
I let go of the bait and I sat and waited for another to come around.
But they would just do the same each time until you came along.
You were my one.
You pulled back your fishing pole and cast the line.
Me, being the fish in the equation, bit the bait on the line.
You reeled me in and set me in a bucket with many other fish that you had caught.
I thought you were the one, my one.
But you did what all the others had done, except for making me suffer.
I am not able to breathe, not able to think.
Unable to move, unable to sink.
I am unable to do anything.
The ones who cut the line and left me in the water to thrive knew better than you who pulled me out of the water to die.

You see, in actuality, I am not the fish and you are not the fishermen.
We are just two individuals with a whole lot of baggage and a whole lot of insecurities.
You don’t like your smile, you don’t like your body.
I don’t like my body, I don’t like how my face looks.
We don’t talk outside of social media and that was the issue,
Because I fell for this fake persona, who wasn’t you.
We talked about everything, had so much in common, and now we have nothing.
We had a pact, to never leave one another unless the other wanted, but that didn’t last.
We made promises, but we took them back.
It would never work, and we knew that.
I forgive you for leading me on and being a siren, singing a sweet, yet soul-crushing song.
And after all, somehow I still love you, but I can move on.

when you make a change in your appearance,
you expect everything in your life to change too .
at least that's what i thought would happen,
change in appearance, change in the life outside.
but no, nothing changed except for my hair .
my hair got shorter, the days got longer .
the pain didn't go away, it only got stronger .
see, it's funny,
when you try to change yourself for the better,
have a fresh start,
in reality everything is exactly the same way as before .
every moment, every second, every day .
and you think it'd get better,
but nothing changed .

after all the hardships i have endured within this life,
i have tried to fly,
but this baggage has become too heavy and i cannot seem to reach the sky .
the baggage, i cannot leave behind,
it has since clipped my wings and has left me unable to fly,
wondering why .
i thought i was supposed to grow into this beautiful butterfly .

what is the meaning of love ?
is it the sweet touch of a significant lover ?
a hug from a parent, a mother ?
a friend who is there for you through thick and thin ?
when someone says those three words,
'i love you,'
what do they mean exactly ?
cause i have yet to feel,
yet to figure out,
what love is all about .

you let me down.
while everything was falling apart in front of my eyes,
we talked about things none disguised .
you only reply to parts of my worry,
you say you care about my journey,
but i feel as though a bullet has been shot through me,
you didn't take it for me .
you broke me .
the clouds in the afternoon skies were forming,
dark .
i realized i had felt so lonely,
i felt as though you didn't want me,
care about me .
and that you despised me.
but tolerated me like a sibling .
i tried too tell you everything i was hoping feeling dreaming,
but i feel as though a bullet has been shot through me,
you didn't take it for me .
you wouldn't take it for me .