Eyes
       Fluttering
                      Mind
                              Sputtering
                                               Lips
                                                     Muttering

Hands
          Shaking
                      Bones
                               Aching
                                          Heart
                                                   Breaking

Pain
      Showing
                    Tears
                            Flowing
                                        Sorrow                                                  
                                                  Growing

Nails
        Gripping
                      Skin
                            Ripping
                                        Red
                                             Dripping

Girl
      Falling
                Mother
                           Calling
                                      Life
                                           Stalling

Head
       Pounding
                      Silence
                                 Sounding
                                                Death
                                                         Grounding.



-ARI

You married the woman
Who's every bone is riddled
With ever pulsing anxiety.

The woman who insists on asking
The same question a hundred times
"Do I look alright?"
"Are you sure I look alright?"

You married the woman
Who's tolerance for heavy crowds
Is completely non-existent.

The woman who's most comfortable
While lost inside the fetal position
Or hidden beneath dark blankets
While rocking in your loving arms.

But,

You married the woman
Who sews mundane words into
Intricate stanzas; bringing life to paper.

The woman who's scrapped her
Shredded soul and tormented mind
From the pavement of hell a hundred times,
Yet still she believes in God.

You married the woman
Who often has nothing for herself
For she gives her all to help the world.

The woman who will stand tall
As a beacon of hope for those who
Have been devoured by creeping anxiety
Even when she wants to disappear.

You did not marry anxiety.
You married an incredible woman.
Thank you for teaching me that.

-ARI

Seven years ago today
I was rolling my eyes
As you teased your sister and me.

Seven years ago today
My best friend and I
Stormed out in anger because of you.

Seven years ago today
We were counting down
The weeks until you moved away.

Seven years ago today
I heard you laughing
Triumphantly over winning the remote.

Seven years ago tomorrow
I cried with my friend
Begging for you to open your bruised eyes.

In two weeks it will be seven years,
Since I watched them bury you.
I'm still waiting for you to come home.

-ARI

I'm sorry I couldn't save you
I swear to you I tried.
I had no clue you were so broken
I wish you hadn't lied.
I knew one day you'd leave me
For the depression you couldn't hide.
You told me you had a solution
I just never thought it suicide.

-ARI

I still have the picture in my head
Of that Sunday morning
I found your hanging body
                                  s
                                     w
                                        i
                                      n
                                    g
                                       i
                                     n
                                   g
Ever softly, as if  to say
I'd missed my chance to save you
By only a heart beat

This nightmare can't be true
There's no way that was you
With a rope wrapped tightly around
The throat I use to kiss
Those fibers robbing the color
From my favorite lips.

-ARI

Dear Momma,
The monster got me.
He dug his nails
Into my bones.
I swear every
Time I cried
He rejoiced
My tortured groans.

I fought hard,
Momma. I swear I did.
I gave up everything
Ive ever had to give.
He took my hair;
My piece of mind.
Yet still he wouldn't
Let me live.

But there's one thing
He'll never have, momma
No matter the pain
Or immeasurable weight
Of this hellish trauma.
He'll never have my soul
For your love for me
Is far too great.

They said I was special
Called me brave and strong.
Claimed me a warrior;
They've never been more wrong.
For I was but a child
Too afraid to turn around.
They'll never know that truth
For my heartbeat's 'ever gone.

-ARI

I was but
A girl, momma
Only seven candles
On my cake.
Though my eyes
Are 'ever closed
My rainbow soul
Shall never break.

-ARI