What
if
I
was
just

























Gone?

Please break my heart
So I don't have to break yours
I'd rather feel all that pain
Than be the one to make you endure

Please break my heart
So I can leave yours intact
I'd rather be haunted
Than have to hear you react

Please break my heart
So I can live with my decision
I'd rather lose all my tears
Than have tears disrupt your vision

Please break my heart
So I'm not the one serving time
Id rather feel completely caged
Than be the one to commit this crime

Please break my heart
So I can make sure you're OK
I'd rather lose my voice
Than listen to all you might say

This request might seem odd
I ask for you to do the downing
But if we're both stuck in this storm together
I'd rather be the one drowning

I want to love a stalker

He'd be the perfect date

If I told him I was too busy

He'd camp outside and wait


I want to love a stalker

He'd always know the right thing to say

Because he'd eavesdrop on my conversations

He'd follow me all day


I want to love a stalker

Then I'd never be alone

He'd come after me forever

Even when I tell him no


He won't accept rejection

He'll give me his whole life

Even when I say I don't want it

He'd never give up, he'd never cry


I want to love a stalker

Want to fight him and run away

I want him to ****** the boys that come near me

And carry me away


I want to love a stalker

Because I have no other choice

I want to love a stalker

Want him to pin me down and hold me tight


I want to love a stalker

Because I'm always going to fight

If he were a stalker I could say no over and over again

And he would never let me go


Until I say no while thinking yes

little ms. perfect,
has a little secret.
She's a big fat liar,
and you can't trust her words.
She cries,
yet she lies.
So whats the point in her?
Her words are like honey,
but be careful,
They sting!
she'll drain you till you drop,
so leave while you can!

Sitting here alone by myself
Surrounded by shadows from the past
And ones that almost become the future

Yet, present is such a harsh word
The only N-word i hate is "now"
Even my pen hates writing it
My keyboard refuses to type it

Because now, we're stuck in the "now"
Now nowhere to go or to be gone
Nowhen? Is that even a word?
I don't know
It's equivalent with the direction i'm going
Forward/backward in space-time because right now, nothing is right right now.
Nothing is right but i'm no lefty
I can't write. About anything.

About you
About me
About shadows that sit next to me
About us used to
About us that almost might to

If I were you,
I don't want to be with me
Not even a shadow to company

If I were you,
I wouldn't be here
Even if it's imaginary.

I know what we have isn't gone

Because if it was

It would have stopped hurting

Life feels too heavy.
Too many worries.
Too many pressures.
Too many responsibilities.
Too many hardships.
Pain.
Despair.
Hope turns to despair.
Happiness turns to numbness.
Calmness turns to pain.

Too fast.
So bleed.
Bleed.
Bleed.
Till everything is silent.
But it’s not silent.
It’s not working.
Making me panic.
Why isn’t it working?

Some days, I smile and I don’t know why,
Other days, I sit and just let time slide by.
Coffee gets cold, texts go unread,
Thoughts spinning circles inside my head.

Some days, I win little fights with my doubt,
Other days, I barely crawl out.
But I breathe, I try, I take one more stride
And that, for today, is enough on my side.