Many different people are out...
The sunset so beautiful.
Then it goes down.
Darkness.
Her and I sitting on the hill.
The peaceful noises around us.
Sitting close.
Her hand in mine.
She's so beautiful.
Especially her eyes.
The color drawing me in.
I lean in to kiss her and she pulls back smirking.
She asks, what's on your mind?
I can't even begin to describe it.
So here in the dark we sit.
Our words minimum, barely any.
The shadows surround us, so many...
I pull her close and kiss her.
I melt just by her touch.
She's amazing.
The way she wispers in my ear...
The way she freezes and stops when others are near.
The way she has to be high to feel alive.
The way she can talk half the night and still be nowhere near ending the conversation.
The way she smirks when looking me in the eyes.
****... I can't get her off my mind.
So **** amazing.
So love, when you ask what's on my mind, just know it's too much to describe.
I have nothing to hide.
I'm just mesmerized.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
One second everything's great the next you want to die.
I honestly don't want to be here anymore.
I guess I'm hanging on for her.
We were had plans together.
Now they are nothing.
Reality went to dreams.
Now I will see her in my sleep.
Wanting to run to her and hug her tight.
Knowing I just want to stay out of sight.
She said if I cut so will she.
I told her she has more potential than me.
I begged her not to leave.
She said she'd need time to think.
I wasn't ready for that today.
She left me speechless no words to say.
Numb.
Finger laying on the trigger of the gun.
Not being able to run to anyone.
Her in the dark my thoughts run wild.
A ******* confused little child.
I want to light up agin.
Put my worries to an end.
I thought I was clean.
No longer had a need.
Leaning on nicotine as my only relief.
Smoking more and more
**** nobody cares.
People really do.
My mind denies it.
Just wanting to forget.
Addicted to running silver down my arm again and again.
The blade is one of my few friends.
Put the gun to my head the end.

Late night talks.
Hot summer walks.
The things we said.
The fire we fed.
It burned ever so smooth and bright.
Emitted a dim beautiful light.
Her and I.
Our dreams.
Our goals.
Our future.
I think I'm in love with her.

Plans and dreams,
Turned to nothing,
Shadows in the night,
Seemed to give me a bit of delight.
You walk away.
I was speechless with nothing to say.
Now my friends are the shadows.
I'm tired of people who just come and go.
You finally love somebody.
Then they leave you trapped in your mind.
Lately it's hard to find,
Any noises but the soft whispers.
The ones only I can hear.
No longer safe in my head.
Not yet to the point of wishing I was dead.
Thoughts always spinning around.
My body was Nowhere near the ground.
High above reality.
Never realized what was happening.
All I knew was I had her and she had me.
But that was never the true story.
Two broken souls.
No story to be told.
Both too broken to ever love.
Putting there future behind them.
Only to return to the emptiness.

A.S
a random write. Nothing true about it.

I screamed but my voice was a whisper,
The shadow took my hand and said everything is okay here.
Hard to believe.
The things the voices were telling me.
There soft voices so bitter sweet.
The shadows gentle hands.
Telling me there was a plan.
That everything's under control.
Yet the ocean waves rolled and rolled.
I was far under the surface.
Trapped by my mind.
Impossible to find.
I hide the pain I feel.
But deep down know the pain is very real.
Slipping in and out of people's life's.
Feeling I never do anything right.
This is my reality.
No it is not a dream.
You can say snap out of it.
But it's absolutely useless.  
The only thing I hear,
Is the shadow I hold so dear.

A.S

Young girl.
Tears in her eyes.
Every night she sat there and cried.
At school she didn't fit in.
She wanted to end it before it could begin.
Broken hearts.
Always torn apart.
Sweet girl.
In a broken world.
Never speaking up.
Her mind ready to erupt.
Ready to take her last breath.
Not knowing what all was left.
Not knowing the people left to meet.
Not knowing life could be sweet.
She wanted it all to be over.
Never giving life a chance.
Finally she let life take her hand.
Then she was finally able to understand.
Life was leading her to the light.
But in order to find it she had to walk through the night.
So as of today,
This girl no longer hides away.
This girl has discovered beauty.
The beauty life really can be.
That girl just might have been me.

A.S. A random Poem for a random night.

The whispers of the night hides my loneliness.
The shadows hide my emptiness.
Along with the loneliness they take my freedom.
They take my sanity.
Every bit that was left anyways.
I search for brighter days.
All I see is the rain.
As I watch the blood wash down the drain.
My wrist bleed.
I scream.
I fight.
I can't take one more night.
Nothing is right.
Forgiveness comes too easy to me.
I give and give.
But now I'm empty.
Nothing left to give.
So now I must leave this broken world.
God I'm gonna let it go.