Sitting along the curb
Sun shining bright
I await for my drug delivery

Wondering why
It's taking so long
Oh right
They're on Tweaker time

Texting my guy
Asking how much longer
I'll have to wait

The sun is bright
It's heat getting to me
Thinking to myself
Ill be late to work
***** getting ready
I'll pack a bowl
Light it up
Only 2 hits
Then I better get ready

Phone buzzes
My guy explains
He's sent another
To do this deliver

I don't ask why
Or who it is
Just for him to get to me soon

Pace back and forth
Along the curb
Stressing
I'll be late to work
Why's this guy taking so long

I hear the car
Look up fron the ground
Finally this dude has arrived
But to my suprise
It's you inside

Frozen
Thinking is it really you
Unsure
How could this be
It's been a month since I last saw you
I question why
You're the delivery guy
Call you an ***
For not hitting me back up

I ask for the dope
Give you the money
Step out the car
Not saying a word
My hearts filled of hurt
I rush back inside
Text my guy why

He replies why it's a problem
I explain
We spoke about the situation
That delivery guy
He's not just anyone
I didn't want him to know
I've been using dope
Plus he's the reason why
I do more than I can handle
To void the memories
To void the thoughts
Of everything we once were

It's not fair at all
One month passed by
No replies from you
But Instead
I see you
To my suprise
As the new delivery guy
Of this dope
I don't want it anymore

But I must not cry  
And must not think
Pack a quick bowl
Light the flame
Watch the smoke fill
Inhaling and twirling
Exhale, cool
What was it that made me so sad ?

Smile curl
Phone buzzing
Let's go to work
Rush everything
I'm ready to pretend
Like nothings ever wrong

It's 1 a.m. and I'm tired.
I've been up since 3 a.m. the pervious day.
I want to sleep in the warmth of my bed.
No, this couch isn't okay.

It's 2 a.m. and he called me.
Asking if I wanted to go to his house.
I agreed with slight hesitation.
Little did I know he'd tear open my blouse.

Its 3 a.m. and I just wanted a place to sleep.
I can't live like this anymore.
I'm so far gone to notice.
That the pain has reached my core.

It's 4 a.m. and the drugs kick in.
I can feel it in my bloodstream.
The realization finally hits me tonight.
That maybe this is all just a dream.

It's 5 a.m. and I don't know where I am.
My life is soon coming to an end.
"Goodbye mom, I'll miss you."
Is the last text I'll ever send.

Its getting blurry.
My heart slows down.
Finally, darkness.
Sleeping, safe and sound.

Constantly searching for serotonin. Because norepinephrine won't let me breathe. Dopamine, you're my dream. Epinephrine you stagger me.

If you always play hide and seek, you're running the risk to get lost.
Nobody will be searching you forever.

But how can you blame her?
She fell in love once.
With a boy who need saving himself.
She did everything
but there was no end to it.
She realized he need not
to be saved but to be loved.

My love,

Please, don't **** me..
With your smile showing your bare teeth, revealing your cute dimples.
With your confidence skyrocketing up,up in the sky.
With your love, freeing and full of compassion,
giving life to the souls, souls who had lost all means of hope.

Please, don't..
Because I am going to **** you first.
With my feet kicking your smile until every tooth of yours falls in sticking to your throat, until your dimples are nothing but bruises.
With my bare hand smashing your confidence, choking your neck, bringing you down from heaven to hell in a span of seconds.

But don't worry, my love, for I am going to love you.
I'll make you feel like you're the most amazing person I've ever met.
I'll make you feel, that love, love is the only thing that matters in this shallow world of ours.
And then, I'll leave.

Sincerely,
Life

Cracked
Kaleidoscope memories of you
Beautiful if turned one way, and muddled when turned another
But do I want to search for its beauty?
Do I want to search for you?

My fingers graze things you once held, searching for echoes of your finger tips,
My fingers graze my skin hoping to remember how you feel,

If I turn up the volume, will it give me comfort the way your voice used to?
The pause between words have me grasping on to the way I held your silence between my lips,

I remember your words and whispered promises as if they were etched onto my skin,
No longer a blank canvas,
My eternal mark of you,

Bring me closer, let me look you in those dubious eyes,
Let me bring my lips almost to a kiss and ask for another pretty lie.