it hurts to live without you
with you I feel I am not myself
I cannot find happiness
with or without you

everyday is torture
my life is hell on earth
I scratch at my arms for release
all I see is scars

im not myself
it shouldn't be this way
**** society
and what is expected of me

I want to die happy
I want to live free

Change is good.
we  need to change.
we learn, we grow
and we change
for the better

I've changed
and boy,
have you changed.
And
We've changed
into people that
aren't compatible

I love you
so its time
to part and to
let each other
grow.

The things
That build you
Are the things
That will break you

all you
its always been about you
i lost myself along the way
im miserable and hurt
we both are
but i cant always think of fixing you
whos going to fix me?
i need to think of myself.
just this once
about me

The world spins slowly,
Yet we feel nothing.
A strange concept,
That we are in motion,
Yet motionless.  

A body, with nerves.
Feeling and thoughts.
Blood and a brain.
All these things I feel
As I feel nothing.

A rush of adrenaline,
and still I tempt my fate.
Tear at my skin to feel again,
but all it brings is tears.
To force myself to feel
is growing quite old.
3 years and I'm still lost.

My head spins.
I sit still.
A strange concept,
That I am in motion,
Yet motionless.

Left behind
I knew all along I wasn't enough
If still hurts
Seeing you happy without me
I thought I loved you
It may have just been friendship
I was confused
You were looking for something I'm not.
Loving a friend is a short distance
From romantic love
The lines blurred, so I stepped back.
You came out.
I knew you were, but I was in denial.

Asexuals are weird,
No primary ****** attraction.
That means I can't distinguish
Like from love.
Either way,
I love you.

Breathe.
I try, but the words are stuck in my throat.
I brush it off,
"Nothing, nothing."
Everything is trapped,
And inside I cry.
My escape is brief,
But it eases the pain.
I soar, happy.
Everything is a breeze,
I think it'll last this time...
But I crash yet again.
Coming down is harder.
I lose myself.
There's no point, I want out.
A vicious cycle of destruction:
Panic, pain, push through...
Breathe