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 Aug 2015 Amanda
claire
thank you
 Aug 2015 Amanda
claire
there was a time when I wanted nothing but to be your forever
to wake up every morning to the warmth of your shoulders against mine
to have coffee at dawn while your favorite soccer team is playing on TV
to sit on your lap and fall against your strong chest, tipping my head down to the crooks of your neck like puzzle pieces snapping into place
to have conversations about life, about death, about matching tattoos, about travelling the world, about us
to fantasize about the future and then laugh so hard at how ridiculous we sound
to hear your raspy voice at noon when the air is clear and cool and silent, save for the birds to whistle around the tall trees
there was a time when I wanted us to be forever.
"forever and always," you like to say after every fight we have.

until I learnt about the sad truth
about whom you really are behind that façade
about who you weren't

you know me better than I know myself
you know every little secret from my dad's family to the cuts around my thighs
you know every little flaw that I try to hide
and I thought I was lucky because someone finally cared
but when everything turns cold and bitter that night in November,
you  saw that as a chance to break me down
you lead me into the falsest sense of security
with every I'm sorry and I love you

after long, tired nights of pacing back and forth,
I finally realized I deserve better
                            I deserve so much more

thank you for loving me and showing me what I'm really worth
thank you for letting me go
 Aug 2015 Amanda
claire
untitled
 Aug 2015 Amanda
claire
things aren't going so well these days and writing no longer comes easy but i picked up a pen and paper last night and i wrote about you
Dear Dad
I know you have physical disabilities,
but you are the centre of my heart,
the love of my life,
so thankful to be your son.

I  am never ashamed of you,
because you are my perfect dad;
your heart is never disabled,
your love has had no divisions,
your mind is pure,
your words calm a raging foe,
and your smiles are infectious,

I will always be your son,
I love you Dad.
 Aug 2015 Amanda
rebecca
My life is spent  treading water,
trying to keep my chin high enough
to evade the water’s cool grasp
that  traces swirl patterns
along the side of my face
and beckons me to come under.

I kick my feet harder against the feathery current.

If I tilt my head
I can see the horizon,
a faded pencil line
sealing the corners of my vision,
grey and smudged from too many attempts
at erasing it.

My legs go slack.

My entire body submerges,
succumbing to the riptide.
It throws a dart at my head
and all the thoughts burst out :
I breathe them in and blow out bubbles.
They tell me to bid adieu.

I do,
I do.
His children’s feet pitter patter
and I hear their laughter,
mellifluous ha-ha’s coming straight
from their bellies.
An adieu is too harsh,
too grating against the mouth.  
So I murmur a soft auf wiedersehen
and let the water fold me into its embrace.
*tribute to Sylvia Plath
 Aug 2015 Amanda
ED
The first time I tripped,
It was over the shoe laces
of a boy with hazel eyes
and Venus fly trap lashes.

When he laughed,
I saw a thousand butterflies
leave his mouth
like a confetti explosion.

Captivated by this winged downpour,
I sought to release every single butterfly
from the cages of his ribs;
Until they filled the spaces of grey planes,
which followed every cynic’s footsteps,
and pollinated every flower
of a dying breed.

My world became a kaleidoscope
of time and colour
where I could no longer distinguish
sunrise from sunset.

Careless of the clock’s limit,
I took its hand and spun circles
within the butterfly boy’s garden
foolishly forgetting
that neither butterfly nor boy
were creatures for all seasons.

So when the first red drop of tomorrow
fell from a tree,
The swarm of colours flew south
taking with it, my kaleidoscope lenses
and the boy;
Still, with his shoe laces undone
and his insides
a nest of larvae.
He never came back and I never found out who gave him the butterflies in the first place. - E.D
 Aug 2015 Amanda
Poetic Thoughts
I wish for a better world where people smiling everywhere. Children happy as can be. No wars just peace and loving so please pray for our mother Africa.
#xenophobia #song #africa #peace
 Aug 2015 Amanda
The Whisper
5:18 AM
 Aug 2015 Amanda
The Whisper
In the midst of desperation,
With my hands pressed tightly against the sides of my head,
I'm hopelessly trying to hold myself together.

Will clutching my head hold my thoughts in their place?
Or is the delusion only another reason to believe
That I'm losing this fight with myself tonight?
Everything is going to be okay. I just have to try to make things better.
 Aug 2015 Amanda
Candice
rule #2
 Aug 2015 Amanda
Candice
just because you feel it,
or think it,
doesn't mean it's true.
Happy birthday to me!
 Aug 2015 Amanda
katie
Cosmic girl
 Aug 2015 Amanda
katie
When I was small
I walked on fairy dust and
my dreams were as tall
as skyscrapers towering
above the universe
inside of me, was the galaxy.
I was born of the cosmos,
full of light and love
passionate in my quest to
give this to others.
But as I grew my star began to fade,
stars need love and light to survive
and deprived of both my blazing fire
transformed into weak candlelight.
At school I had learnt it was easier
to hide your light
than to stand out as different
and be extinguished in an instant.
So I kept myself to myself
at the back of the class,
knowing the answers but not
shouting them out.
I daydreamed, and doodled
stars on the corners
of my books, all the while
I could hear the universe
calling out to me to trust,
that we are all born of this
cosmic stardust.
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