you never ask if im okay
i kiss you and i taste your lips so bitter against mine
you spat on me, your venom felt like some sort of ******* haven
id rather have you poisoning me than spend a day without you
youd rather i just ******* but no one else will give you as much attention

i want you to ask how i am, what im feeling
i want you to kiss me like you actually ******* mean it
not like you're just passing the time

i think about you and something in my stomach twists
it's not butterflies and i know that because butterflies dont sting
i didn't think you would sting and ache and bruise me this bad

i push you off me and you just walk away
i try to run back to you but i just stumble
you watch me fall and carry on walking

and no i'm not okay

I want my words to be beautiful.
Beautiful like yours.
I want to see ordinary things,
Find the magic in them,
And put the magic on a page, for everyone to understand.

I want to have a way with words.
I want every poem of mine
To become a masterpiece.
Just like yours.

I am not broken.

But you are.

You see the world through pain,
And pain makes the colors brighter.
It makes the value of feelings
Climb higher.

Sometimes I wonder
If I should be broken like you
If I want my words to resonate
Like yours.

Sometimes I wonder,
If it will be truly worth it
In the end.

I wonder what it will be like,
To cut myself up to pour out the beauty inside me.

Just like you.

I imagine that you
Raise the blade
Slice your feelings open
And write your masterpiece
In red.

I seem to find new ways to love you,
Everyday we're apart...
I used to carve your name into poems,
Into the depths of my heart...

See darling right now I'm terribly sad
But it's not really all your fault...
It's just a feeling I've grown to know.

I may be missing you but darling
I miss myself too
I miss the spontaneous free spirited soul I was whenever
I was with you
I miss the clouds when it's too hot
I miss seeing your face so clear in my mind
I miss that feeling I used to get when
I saw that you were online

I'm not okay,
No... I feel down.
'Wish you were around to stay
But there's just no ******* way
Oh what a ****** maze we're in
Lost for the right words to say, it seems...
See there's no poetry
That could bring you back to me, so lovingly
But I'm gonna write til the end of my days,
anyway...

I've got one half of a ying yang bracelet wrapped around my neck
And that "photograph" song in my back pocket has been playing since you left
I'm trying to find myself and fix myself
But I don't know what tools to use?
I'm trying to let other people see
That I too, can look quite beautiful

But I'm not okay
I'm overwhelmed
So let's just simplify this poem..
And break it down into
Less metaphors
And similes
cause this sadness is slowly
Killing me, more and more
And there's just no poetry
That could make this sound sweet
Cause it's just not...

I'm just a different kinda sad
And I don't know how not to be.

don't take life too seriously
don't take life too
don't take life
don't take
give.

Isn’t physically quick or agile.

Disappears in libraries.

Has been known to dissolve into the physical pages of books.

Is good at tucking herself into the stacks and retreating to reading nooks.

Blends in at coffee shops where her voice can be drowned out by the grinding and the steaming.

Can become indistinguishable in the dark of theatres, in the quiet shuffle of art galleries, the finger-snapping of poetry readings, the hum and jostle of the Tube.

Is indistinct. Adept at hiding in plain sight.