I will strive to be strong in the face of uncertainty
I will survive
And thrive
In the face of uncertainty.
I will hold my head high
Even with a soul so low.
With an abyss opening in front of me
I will not halt my roll
I will walk straight into the unknown.
-ALC May 7 2017

And she sat with knees clutched tight to her chest on what was once their couch, looking at what once was their home, what once was their lives, and felt her body begin to shake. Felt the tears well up behind painted pretty eyes, and a scream bubble up behind painted pretty lips. She watched as she set fire to memories in her minds eye, destroying a future now gone.

I didn’t cry for our loss
I didn’t mourn it at all,
And it just goes to show
That we wouldn’t have lasted long at all.
Because as I have said,
My heart isn’t here
My chest is hallow,
And my thoughts unclear.
Because the man I love
Doesn’t see me at all;
Yet you love me so reverently
And you were quick to let us fall.

I didn’t cry for our loss
I didn’t shed a tear,
Yet it still feels strange
That you are no longer near.
-ALC December 24, 2018

One box down with another to go
Slowly they pile in rows and rows.
I start to think,
In this brain numbing task,
Of all my life that has come to pass.

I think of faces,
Of all shapes and size.
I think of the ones that have made me laugh and cry.

How life does change
And we must go with the flow,
Because now the boxes are stacked high in multiple rows
And not a single speck is left to show
Of the life that I once had here,
Except for the marks on the walls,
And the memories I will hold dear.
-ALC 06/11/2017

When you look at me, do you see the vortex of pain behind my eyes, or do you just see my pretty disguise.
-ALC February 1, 2017

You know the night where you made me come outside,
Just so we could drive around for hours.
I still consider that one of the best night I have had in along time.
-ALC December 19, 2016

She bloomed like a flower. Not a rose, or a hydrangea, or anything so beautiful or delicate as that. She bloomed like the Joshua trees, like the corpse flowers. Like everything that lays dormant, waiting to show the world exactly how much they were underestimated.
-ALC May 10, 2023

I am used to knowing what’s going on inside your head, but now I am not even sure if you still feel for me like you once did, and I know that our seeing each other will be fewer and farther between. So I cry, not because I feel like this is a break up, but because my heart has broken in the death of a friendship that I had begun to rely on so much for everything. I cry because I know I have lost such a dear friend.

Are you kidding me?
Your joking right?
You think that that was all a big lie?
You think I took your emotions as a game
That it was just a 3-year fling.
How funny,
…Oh honey,
You have over thought it all again,
Well there you go
Down the rabbit whole,
Made of your own design.
-ALC January 14, 2017

I wake, drenched in sweat.
The sounds of the sirens echo through my nightmares
Dragging me back into this cold existence that no longer holds you.
As reality sinks back in,
And the memory of your permanent departure takes hold,
I melt back into the darkness.
The darkness of the sheets,
Of the night,
Of my mind.
-ALC March 13, 2015

Oh there’s a storm-warning happening outside my door,
And I don’t know if it’s figurative or more.
Cause there pulling me down,
They wont let me see.
So I struggle and fight, till they leave me be.

My dreams are clouding up my head,
Pulling in the breeze.
They keep whispering sweet secrets that I may never see.
And they won’t let me go
The wont let me be free
And the storm-warning keeps tugging at me.

Oh there’s a storm-warning happening outside my door
And every one is yelling that I should wait some more.
But I’m running toward the entrance
I feel close to my escape,
And as I pull the handle back
Cold wind blasts my face.

This storm is blowing outside my door
And I run into the fray begging it for more.
I feel the stinging drops tare at my skin,
And I feel the pounding of the wind,
Commencing me to begin.

The storm blows me through its grasp,
Telling me its secrets,
As it beats me slash by slash.
And though I stumble and fall,
I don’t feel afraid,
No, not at all.
For this storm can hold me in its grasp,
But I know that it cannot last.
And the winds will fade
The storm will end
And suddenly,
My life will begin.
-ALC February 22, 2017

I see the stares
And I hear the whispers
I look at their faces
Sporting my blisters.

I hear the gasps,
And I see their faces,
And I see the confusion,
As they wonder if I am in pain.
As I lay flat on my back
With air wheezing from my lungs
A smile spreading across my face
And a laugh escaping from my flattened body.

I stand up, ready to fight
As I brace myself for another attack.
We glare at each other,
Sparks in our eyes,
And a grin on our lips
Wondering who will make the first move.

I step forward
And lay on the punches
Ready to receive them right back.
He grabs my arms,
Trying to stop my assault,
But we tumble to the ground
And both start to laugh.

People stare in awed horror
As I take a man to the ground,
And are in shock when I pin him with my knees.
They are gawk as we both stumble up laughing,
And their faces turn white as they see the bruises
That sprout along the length of my body.

I know I am aggressive,
I have never been a gentle girl
Always a warrior at heart
Ready to take down the biggest beasts,
And my bruises and cuts are my battle wounds
That I wear like trophies
Telling stories of my conquered foes
-ALC September 11, 2018

I can tell by your wants, you crave me,
This I know without a doubt.
I can tell by your voice, you miss me,
I wish I had more time to spare.
I can tell by your actions, you need me,
Though I am not sure what I can do.
I can tell by your eyes, you love me,
But I am not sure what to do.

You can tell by my wants, I am wandering,
There is nothing you can do.
You can tell by my voice, I am fading,
But I haven’t lost interest in you.
You can tell by my actions, I am drifting,
Thousands of miles will do that too.
You can tell by my eyes, I am unsure.
I am unsure of every part of you.
-ALC August 18, 2018

I am made of my brothers twisting grip,
as we grapple on the living room floor.
I am made up of saying uncle,
and laughing so hard at the dinner table that milk comes out of my noise.
I am made up of slobbering dog kisses, loving kitten purrs, and injured strays.
I am made up scrambling through bushes, slipping in dirt, and mudded shoes.
Of wild hair, wild eyes, and a wild grin.

I am made up of road trips and sunny days.
Of pool parties and family gathering where laughter is the only thing that echo’s through you’re ears.

I am made up of countless flues and colds that kept me homesick.
Of ditching school with my best friends to go to Disney land,
Of every Friday night being girl’s night for 3 years.

I am made up of heart break for lost love and lost friends.

I am made up of travel and moving away
I am made of studying in Australia,
Of my Danish and Dutch friends that I chose to make my family.

I am made up of smiling faces as I walk to school,
Of ravens over head, and redwoods straight in front.
I am made of scratched arms and bruised legs
Of callused hands and burning muscles.

I am made of a drive for adventure and new experiences
Of an aggressive spirit
And a curious mind.

I am made of freedom,
Of courage
Hope,
Happiness,
Sorrow,
Loss,
Heartbreak.
Of love
Eccentricity
And a warriors spirit.
I am made up of my memories, of the people I have met, and of the experiences that will never stop.
-ALC February 23, 2019

I want someone who is self-confident and doesn’t need me to complete them.
I want someone to go adventuring with, but also someone who is willing to just be alone.
I want someone mature and willing to take risks and try new things with me.
I am of course not looking for this person in the near future, but its kind of a nice idea to know what I am looking for.
I know there will be lots of guys along the way that will pull at my heart strings, but all in all, I want someone to adventure and take risks with.
To help me live each day as if it is my last, and to help me remember to look for the simple beauty in life.

Don’t love me with gifts
Or extravagant affairs.
Don’t hold me with promises
That might not be there.

Love me with experiences
Littered with fun.
Hold me at night
And kiss me in the sun.
-ALC April 30, 2017

Zip your lips
Don’t utter a word
Don’t let all of your thoughts be heard,
Because if you do,
You know what they’ll say,
That you’re just being mean,
And to go away.

Zip your lips
Don’t say a thing
Don’t let the thoughts
Flow from your brain,
Because they’ll tell you your wrong
And that you’re simply not right
That you should just walk away instead of starting a fight.

Zip your lips
And stare off like a doll
Because you weren’t made to think at all.
You weren’t meant to have such a wonderful gift
To be able to open your mouth and say what you wish.

Zip your lips
Or better,
Just walk away,
Because you're not allowed to say
What you want anyway.

We are two wolves
Tearing at each other’s flesh
Biting in with savage need
Pushing and pulling for dominance.

We are two wolves
Working off of undiluted instincts
Of euphoric animalism.

We rip away our human pelts
And reveal our battle worn skins
Blemished with past wars and historic victories.

We are two wolves
Growling with pleasure and an insatiable appetite.
Digging our incisors into each other’s flesh
And grazing our claws down one another’s backs.

We score each other’s bodies
With nips, kisses, and tongue
Demanding one to admit the others rule.
To surrender and go docile.

But we are two wolves
Fighting each other
Each step of the way
With unadulterated ravishment.
-ALC April 4, 2019