I haven't been this sore or bruised in a long time.
And I kind of like it.

*For once, I can feel my every move, even if that feeling is pain

I've never felt better about myself than when it comes to other people

They're dynamic, unpredictable, something new
Crowding out the thoughts in my head
I plug in, connect, understand
There's light in their smiles
And I will do anything just to keep it burning bright

Yet, when it comes to other people, I've never felt worse about myself

A careless remark, a judging look from the corner of their eyes
And all the pain comes flooding back
I don't meet their measure
There's anger in the way they say such simple words
And my heart curls up and withers

Yet I would still do, give anything for them
They are a person after all
No matter how they make me feel


It's a dangerous world out there for someone who lives for others
And always says yes
But I can't lie
I sort of like the pain of martyrdom
It suits me
So I've got no right to complain

In the end, will I have even been enough?
Please let me matter.
Please let this matter to someone.
Because if this giving matters to someone, it'll have helped a person, and it'll, I'll, have been worth it
In the end

A boy and I arrive at the teacher's desk at the same time
There's an awkward flurry as we try to figure out who should get a paper first
But eventually the boy defers to me
"Chivalry isn't dead," the teacher jokes, and the boy laughs with him
I head back to my desk, tongue bitten between my teeth
I seem to have a talent for that
But part of me wants to turn around and tell them
No
Chivalry's been dead for a while now
And I'd answer the question in their eyes with
That was just common, human courtesy

Then again who am I to judge other's intentions?

Still would've been fun to see their faces.

A paper crown, and a heart made of glass
A tattered gown, and her kingdom of ash
She walks alone, she can never look back
The story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea

She'll make it out, but she's never the same
She's looking down, at the scars that remain
But you hold your ground, though your kingdoms in flames
Cause it's the story of a queen who's castle has fallen to the sea
Knowing there's no one who will be a king that will come and save his queen

When all she needs, when all she wants, when all she finds
When all she is, and ever was, is compromised
Cause there's no one to love her
When you build your walls too high
And there's no one to love you when you build your walls too high

She's looking out, from the war that's inside
She's screaming out, cause no one survived
But when you're all alone, you wait and you hide
Cause it's the story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea
Knowing, there's no one who will be a king that will come and save his queen

When all she needs, when all she wants, when all she finds
When all she is, and ever was, is compromised
Cause there's no one to love her
When you built your walls too high
And there's no one to love you when you build your walls too high

There is no one, who is strong enough, to save your love
There's no fairytale
There's no fairytale

When all she needs, when all she wants, when all she finds
When all she is, and ever was, is compromised
Cause there's no one to love her
When you build your walls too high
And there's no one to love you when you trap yourself inside

they said after the fire
comes rebirth.

but I'm no phoenix.
flamingos don't rise from the ashes.

they burn.

How dare you push aside your most precious possession?
Do you not understand its value?
Its rarity? Its unique and original gifts to you?

It's perfectly clear that you don't understant.
What you hold in your hands is a treasure,
A treasure that is not commonly found,
And once lost, a it's impossible to find again.

Yet you treat this treasure like an afterthought to fools gold.
You treat this treasure as a stepping stone to something better,
When I think you know that there truly isn't anything more valuable than what you already have.


Take time, heed these words.
Youve come close to losing this precious possession once before,
And there is no way you'll regain it should you come close once more.
So tread carefully.

Best not lose the best blessing that you have ever received.

I hope you know
that i hate you.
I loathe you.
I despise you.
You bring out the absolute worst in me.
You're toxic,
and just seeing you makes me want
to *****
or to run and hide in fear.
I hate you.
Just hearing your name
makes me pity you
because I always pity those
who need others to
make themselves feel good.
I hate you.
I hate your need for attention,
and I wish you'd just die
because we all know you want to.
I love hearing about your pain,
your losses, and i'm glad
i've contributed to them.
You're such a monster,
and i hate you.
So pathetic, so weak,
and i hate you.
You're all of my hate and all of my anxiety
and all my stress and all my good memories
i've had to let go of.
Yes, i'm talking to you.
I hate you.
Sincerely,
Yourself

so many different ones
that i chance to wear
so many that i have
decorated with care

there's my angry
for my stress
and my anxious
for my work
and my happy
for my friends
and my golden
for my family

sometimes they get stuck
and i cant get them off
and have to just keep acting
until i've forgotten
the face that lies underneath

I painted a girl out of sunshine
with brush strokes that glitter and play
And glow gold and pink and sweet

But I overlooked a few things in her making
Her head cannot pivot
Only move up and down
Nod yes
Yes, I'm fine
Yes, I can help

And when I painted her face,
I gave her a smile
The brightest, most heartfelt smile I could make
To make other people feel okay
But I never realized that meant she'd be stuck that way

She grins, teeth glistening
Whispers my mistakes,
I take a closer look
And find that the pink paint
is in fact the red of my blood
And the brush, my own bone
You'll give until your death! she smiles and laughs

Too late to un-create this destiny
It is all I can do to prop the sunshine girl up in front of me
A screen for others to watch a lie
And not the sad silent soul behind

While the sunshine girl does the living, the girl behind retreats to words, trying not to
Die.