I bled.

Warmth seeped into my cold arms,
The vivid hue a reminder of life within me,
And me within life.

No pain—only a thought:
Is this the shade of burgundy you love,
Or is it darker?

If I were to capture it in a painting,
would you hang it?

Would it move you more
if you knew the source?

For even my emptied veins, a sacrifice,
Remains unworthy of you.

Redacted*

I met you when I was sixteen,
a glance, a laugh across the room.

Weeks passed, yet every step I took
was searching for you in the crowd.

We went for coffee—
I hated coffee, so you ordered mine.

The worst drink I'd ever tasted,
yet perfect,
for it carried the thought of you.

Wallet in hand, money on the counter,
yet you paid.
Illogical, I thought, strange—
but now I know,
logic fades in your presence,

and only one truth remains:
Because you're you,

and I love you.
So here I am, saying it again—
I love you.

I was never yours. You were never mine.  
We never held each other. You know me not.  
I acknowledge you whole, yet I know fractions of your entirety.  

I want to hold you close.  
I want your perfections against my skin, printing on me.  
Even better yet, I want your imperfections on me.  
Stain me with what you call imperfections,  
colour me black with them.  

Tear me apart—with effort.  
Make me yours, for life.  

Let me carry your imperfections,  
of which they hold no weight.  
Let me carry the weight of your perfections.  

Let me pave the road of us.  
Maybe your print will be missing from the first miles of it,  
but your print is everlasting on me.  
And on the road—who can carry the burden of us together?  

A road fractured the instant we met.  
Parallel worlds.  
I fall into a world where vividness falls short of the eye,  
another where light meets colour,  
and my eyes meet you.  

I was never yours—  
or so you say.

Stood by the entrance of a coffee shop,
Dark green t-shirt, burnt papers in hand,
The last exam solved, the weight lifting off my shoulders.

Friends around, a drink in hand—laughter in the air.

If I had known that was the last time I’d see you,
I would have cherished every second.

I would have gone for the hug instead of the fist bump.

I would have taken a picture with you, by the mirror,
So time couldn’t steal the moment away.

I would have ignored the world—every friend, every noise—
And given you my full attention.

I would have frozen time in the moment we stood side by side.

I would have known that your journey home
Was the path that would separate us.

I would have looked into your eyes and stayed there,
My gaze filled with nothing but love.