I feel it I hate it I can stop it. I can eat. Food tastes guilty. I lie, I starve. I hide the fact that I'm hungry, But I'm not going to eat. Not yet. Not until I've taken control
they said "you'd be jealous" they lost 42 pounds in only four months quickly doing the math that's 10.5 pounds per month 2.625 pounds per week i laughed a bit realizing their monthly rate was how much i had lost within only two weeks then i asked myself "why would i be jealous when i can be better and lose that 42 pounds in half the time took them?"
You don’t need to self destruct to get attention You don’t need to Hurt yourself Cut yourself Starve yourself Endanger yourself Sabotage yourself To get attention
You deserve attention You’re worth noticing You’re worth caring for You are worth them sticking around
Had a few things I needed to say to myself tonight.
it's a lovely feeling, i know. i know. i know. but you can't stay here. this isn't any way to live. you can't have a full life feeling empty. it's so hard, i know. i know. i know. eat anyway. live anyway.
smiles at day tears at night laughs with friends cries alone shaky all the time 'i'm fine' 'i already ate' 'i'm full' 'it's nothing' 'it won't happen again' 'don't worry about me' L I E S A L L L I E S therefore... i'm not fine i'm starving myself i'm hungry it's something, help me, please its most definitely going to happen again worry about me please i need it