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Xant Dec 2020
It's how the moon injects colors into me,
into my old dying mind
Its blue, red, and green in my plasma
they sail and travel through my veins

Remarkable stars, they send my lost soul home
Home, that is my mortal frame,
home that is bound to earth
And so sound I laid
That I can finally get a grip

Sometimes the cloud comes too
Their cotton-like apparition
soft to the touch, overly-sensitive,
and inhumanly empathetic,
pouring down a rain
For it cried
So I don't have to cry alone

The night sky helps,
by wrapping me within its blanket of darkness,
lulling me to sleep to the song of the wolves,
blowing winds that rock the greens ever so gentle,
and therefore I know, when light has gone,
and the night has come,
I'm alive once more
Xant Apr 2020
Wander alone, for once
Wander about,
on this earth
you don't quite understand

Take a nap on the sea,
for once
feel the cold water
being warmed by the sun

Sleep by the banyan tree,
for once
watch as the snake slither
under your feet

By then you'll hear whispers;
someone else inside you
Yourself, but not you,
saying things you dare not speak
Of pronanities, maybe
or of sorrow
your deepest wish, perhaps
of not waking up the next morning

So wander alone, for once
Xant Apr 2020
I was lost
but I've been found
by wisps
that is in these tiny things
called pills

I was crashed
and I've been trashed
but I was fixed
by a thing called fluvoxamine
Xant Jan 2020
White, the lightning
burns and blinding
nothing heard but cries
of regretful souls
longing to go back in time
just to undo each and every crime
painfully, they howl
as they try to crawl
out of the underworld

Red, the flesh
of sinful sinners
when they clash
onto each other
and many wished,
can only wish,
to live again
but there is no bargain
in this world of pain

Black, the days
the burning frames
the rotten wraiths
No signs of mercy
for those with no faith
Longing for tomorrow
where there'll be no sorrow
but this is the inferno
the place of eternal woe
Xant Oct 2019
I was never born to be a hero
and to you, or by you, I'm not obliged
Cause I've no healing power bestowed,
no superman strength nor laser eyes

In fact,
my bones are twigs,
my flesh jelly
My mind's been rigged,
I need no more burden to carry

And I've fulfilled no expectations of yours
I'm not even trying to anymore
Cause I am not here to save the day
So keep your wrathful sorrow to yourself
When leaving a toxic relationship, half of me felt a big deal of guilt.
And the other half of me, felt like I deserved to be selfish for once.
I deserve to grow, I deserve to love myself before I
could love somebody else.
I can't fix a broken person,
if I am broken myself
Such a selfish being I am

-5/10/2019-
Xant Sep 2019
As the lights went dim
I found myself adrift
into an altered reality

And that's about
the furthest I can get,
away from this harsh
substantiality
How I feel when the stores are closing for the day
Xant Sep 2019
At last,
I feel at ease
Alas,
There goes the leash

I am far too young to be bound,
far too old to stay around
Clueless of what there'll be
outside, I might as well feel lonely
I need no freedom
For in this cage,
I am free

And at last,
I feel at ease
I made this poem half asleep
That's why it makes no sense hahaha
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