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Kerstin Dec 2016
I tear my skin apart
Trying to fit in
Maybe what's inside really is all that matters
So I tear apart my outside
Trying to show the world my inside
Kerstin Nov 2016
Do you know what it's like?
To have the person you love
Rip open your chest
Cut out your heart
With sergical like grace    
And tell you it's not red enough
Then throw it to the floor
But before their boot can bring the end
They pick it up say I'm sorry
Kerstin Oct 2016
Suffering is never worse than the fear of suffering.
I'd take a million hits
Rather than fear when your fists will strike
I'd rather hear you scream
And feel my heart break
Then fear when your tongue will lash out
Kerstin Oct 2016
I can feel the numbness
It pulses in my lips
I pinch my hips
To see if I still exist
I can't breath
Maybe I'm just suffocating
The air won't pull in  
My chest rises and falls
But nothing gets pulled in
Im suffocating in the darkness
That I created
From my own stupidity
The world is not ending
But my world is pulling away
Taking the air I breath with him
I'm left out in space
But there are no stars
It's the emptiness
I carved out around me
With bleeding hands
I can't breath
I can feel the numbness
It pulses in my lips
I feel the grace of fingertips
I try to latch on
I weigh a ton
Will my world hold on
After all my stupidity
Will he give me air to breath
Kerstin Oct 2016
I love you
Even I try to be numb
When I don't wanna feel
I still feel that love
My head is dizzy
My stomachs upset
And my cheeks are wet
The room is spinning
Nothing can make it go away
Now I'm crying
Because it seems like you can push it away
I can't
I always know I love you
Even when I don't wanna feel
I still feel that love
I always love you
Even when I wanna be numb
The only thing I can feel
Is the love I have for you
Kerstin Oct 2016
It's dark
My thoughts go running
As if for a stroll through a painful park
They're gunning for my demise
You said you love me
I can't see it with my own eyes
So maybe you didn't mean it
You're 7000 miles away
Surrounded by women
So much better than me in all ways
I'm nothing and they're a ten
My heart is shriveled to nothing
Still squeezing my chest constricts
I can't ask if you really mean it
It'll cause you pain
I'm the only one who deserves to suffer
I'm nothing important
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