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Rarity generally sets the price
Then how would you assay
The cost of life

We can't see any more of it
From this rock on which we sit

At least not now
And maybe never
So the valuation
To the earth is tethered

Do we figure the ones
Once here now gone
Or just those
Among us in the throng

Do all pay the same
For their go at this game
Does it depend on what you got
Out of it
Do the winners pay more
Or the losers forestall
Any invoice coming their way
But you pay with your time
Taken back at the end of your line
So your bill is already paid.
Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
      I am the captain of my soul.
Dear monster in my head
I want to see you
Really see you
Inspect you
And understand you

Dear monster in my head
I promise if you come out of the shadows
I'll push away my anger
Desperation

So don’t worry
I’ll clench my fists

Dear monster in my head
I wonder what made you this way
Why you seem to hate me
Why scream these dreadful silent whispers
To me almost constantly

Dear monster in my head
I’ve only seen your beady red eyes briefly in a dream
And I want to observe the rest of you
For if I can’t always control you
I want to understand you

..

Is it you that see now?
Are you that figure coming out from the depths?
I can’t breathe
And I’m crying
Sobbing
But wait a second
...
You're stunning
Not like a sunset
Or a pretty girl
You just feel that way

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
I am so sorry I called you a monster
When you were just in pain

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
All bruised
With tear-stained cheeks
And terrible memories

It turns out that those beady red eyes
Was just the blood bleeding from our hearts
And that you actually have green eyes
That have some yellow near the iris
Just like me

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
I forgive you
And I hope you can forgive me one day
For making you hide in the shadows
Out of sight
And in my mind

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
Let us feel this pain out loud
Together
Holding hands
Watching good and bad days go by

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
I love you
Even though sometimes you make me cry
I feel like recording a 4-minute film of this, so I can show what the hurt looks like.

(This note was written by a fish who wanted to get caught in a net. At least someone would love him.)
i'm breathing fast
i'm seeing the past
things i don't want to remember
hit me like a blast

anxiety rising
breath denying
i'm hearing their words
i feel like i'm dying

their words hit me like a stab
i crunch like a crab
that they stepped on
i feel a jab

words bleed out of my chest
as i remember what i don't want to
i'm not ready
wait... just let me

try
to
forget
this is it, man
the last stop before hell
the final chapter before knowing the unknown
I prayed this day would never come
and I have feared it more than death itself
but now that it has arrived, I can’t move,
I’m paralyzed, comatose,
almost vegetable-like
too many nights were spent
laughing with diesel-powered killers,
singing with mop-haired lepers
in monotone slate
& dancing with minotaurs around
the open flame of age
it’s all behind me now
my days roll through soft and fuzzy
like peaches in the August heat
a cozy bed, comfy pillows, secure blankets
and yet, I felt safer in more dangerous places
(I always preferred the acid rain dripping from the mossy underpass over the holy water bubbling in the Vatican jacuzzi,
yeah dig?)
but now that I’m surrounded by all this
security, comfort and warmth
I feel less alive, almost finished,
when I’ve got so much more to unleash
like a mad dog, old and vicious and untrained by its master with enough bite
to inflame your wrists with rabies.
it’s been one hell of a picnic, lemme tell ya:
kissing death under the ring of vultures
loving women like a broken bear trap
delivering music like an olive branch
cleansing myself from these filthy poems
it’s time to turn it over to someone else
let them abuse the night
and listen to it scream
me? my nights weep themselves to sleep
and I join in on their sorrow.
is it already this time again?

I don‘t need to ask, because I know
the falling rain has turned to snow

the bluest sky covered by grey
fallen leaves stained with decay

like every cycle reaches its end
no life is anymore left to fend

light becomes something we don‘t see
rays of sun each day a fleeting memory

around me this ancient world solemnly dies anew
while I watch silently, sipping on a tea I just brew
it gives me peace seeing the endless cycle of the seasons
 Jan 22 Laurel Selby
Liana
Up in the attic
With my paints
And my rage
I was the canvas
Filled with color

Splats of red
I needed to
How else could I symbolize you?

Blue and orange
And purple and green
All trying you make sense of me

Little hints of yellow
For even then
When I could forget
I could experience momentary joy

I was that canvas
Because yes,
My head is overwhelming
And crazy
And angry
But it can also be beautiful

I was that canvas,
Abstract
And messy
Which some say isn't even art
And some say is wonderful

I was was that canvas

But wait
...
Wasn't I also the painter?
One painting that I really needed to create. It's in my old house in the attic. We are one.


(This note was written by my apology for not being able to be on here supporting your masterpieces yesterday)
 Jan 22 Laurel Selby
Liana
I'm sorry
But you have to stay

I'm not ready to make a star for you yet
I make a star for every person that I lose. This is about my grandma, but also about some of my friends that I am concerned about. She wants to stay, they don't. This also goes for you. Yes, you. Please stay here with the rest of the mentally ill poets taking it one day at a time ❤️❤️❤️‍🩹
 Jan 22 Laurel Selby
Liana
Even though
The ground is covered in snow
I know if you dig a little deeper
You'll find it to be warm
There are some people I thought I might never end up liking or being friends with, but I only saw the show. Of course, not true with everyone, but nevertheless.

(This note was written by a shirt that ate cobbler and then sat on air to watch a pen skydive)
 Jan 15 Laurel Selby
Liana
I called them "grown ups"
Until I was old enough to realize
That some of them didn't grow up

From my experience
Mostly for bad
But sometimes for good
My dad never grew up from that toddler stage of the world revolving around him, throwing tantrums, and not being able to care for others. :D

Also, I am very pro keep your inner child alive, so don't get the wrong idea. That's what I meant by for good.

(This note was written by a wrench with a cool-mint stench. It's favorite place was a bench.)
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