I remember my young body
Barely free of stitches
You placed me on a motorcycle
And laughed when I crashed

After
all this time,
it doesn't matter
who--
my mind
just seems
to wander
directly
back
to you.

Want to play a game
Lie to me
See what happens
It will be so fun to watch me at war with myself
My natural inclination to trust
Versus my accumulated skepticism

Oh it will drive me mad you see
Throwing my limbs against the wall
Trying to see how far they'll bounce off
And when I discern the situation
I become a lot more cold
Than you are used to
The one who dried your tears
Turns their back
Says grow up

Now every word
Every act will be treated as lies
Because once I find one lie
I will give up on finding any truth

He laughs at the way
I make lucky paper stars
When I'm anxious
or scared
or sad
or lonely.
He thinks it's cute,
Or so he says.
But when he sees me making them
He comes to sit with me
And I've started to fill
jars of stars
A lot slower
Because I like his smile
when he sits with me.

why are the thoughts back
they arent supposed to be back
i dont want them
please go away
go away
AWAY
i just want to be poisoned
because i am poison
and i crave poison
the narcissist
i need to see my crystal clear reflection
that is disarmingly toxic
and delicious
oh my poison
my sweet poison
on my lips
i swallow you
swallow
swallow the truth
the truth is
i am gone