Krissi Micha Dees: Favorites

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

It arrives

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

E Lynch

It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

#depression #sadness #emotions #loneliness #hurt #abandonment #therapy #pain #sad #melancholy

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Habit

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Abi Cash

Habit

It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

No one ever understands my scars

#cuts #habit

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Steps

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Grand Piano

Steps

Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling

You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual

#pain #depression #smile #breathe

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Crickets

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Morgan Brehilt

Crickets

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Falling Tear

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Cerasium

Falling Tear

Times were perfect
they were kind and loving
You had a sparkle in your eye
That made the world bright with love

The distance was great
Yet it wasn't an issue till one day
You told me its hard
You want us closer
But to be friend is enough for now

The pain worsened the more we were friends
The ***** ups I did just made things worse
My love has grown stronger and stronger
Yet it is not enough

In order to get you back I must be by your side
Times are tough and greater still
I love you so much that time stands still
I see you there alone

No one by your side and I crave
That someone will be me again
This pain and misery is far to great
Yet I long your your touch
your kissing embrace

These nights without you have made me miserable
I just wish once you see my tears
These tears of love and pure of heart
They yearn for you to wipe them away

They look to you with a tortured soul
Leaking through the glistening light
They wish you would come back to wipe them away
Even if it is just one more time

#longing #sorrow #pain #desire #love #heartache #hurt

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

My Broken Heart

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Debbie Brindley

My Broken Heart

I cradle your love
within my heart
A perfect gentleman you were
from the very start

Your aura so beautiful
bright and strong
I knew
in your life
I belonged

Friends
lovers
soulmates
you mean the world to me
You left my spirit
untouched
wild
and free

One thing about our love
is no mask
did we wear
Any issue needed solving
the other always there

We never fort
never argued
Our hearts sung the same song

Maybe our love was too perfect
because illness came along

For you and I
would have journeyed
into old age together
Watching our children
their families
on journeys
to wherever

So sad that you won't be
by my side
We'd talked
often of grandchildren
watching them grow and thrive

Our grandchildren will always know how much you mean to me
But our journey
into old age
together
Is something
that was never
meant to be

Love youI

#love #heartache #sorrow

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

My love

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Eve

My love

Trembling with every thought of him
I ache a love I can never achieve
I hold my emotions captive in this dreadful tin
I mean no harm, I just love, will it **** you to believe?

I’m not trying to take him from you
My heart is red and not blue
He’s something completely out of my reach
His heart is extremely difficult to breach,
you’re the only gifted one here
don’t worry it’s not that difficult to bear
or maybe it just is...

I have but accepted my place
within the zones of friendship
I've only suffered from a fallen grace
and a heart which has been ripped
But who cares about the shattered love
Maybe it’s just the one above
God Almighty,
I shall never doubt thee
For he knows best

Come to think of it,
What have I lost?
Nothing to be exact
It is he who lost something
something real and true;
my love that is.

-fir.m

jo.p
idk if i still feel it but you avoiding me because of her is helping me.
you both think i don't know but i do know
i wouldn't tell you guys ofc not, i love yall both.
i can't be a treath for something i can't achieve.
my little love will remain where it has always been, in my heart and mind and now HP <3
.-.

#love #broken #heart #lost #friend #heartache #acceptance #gifted

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

The Storm

Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees

Natasha

The Storm

I could feel it coming
Like a bird can feel the pressure change
Just before a hurricane
And instinctively flies
Away.

But I flew to you.
I wanted to play god.
I clung to memories,
Clung to your flannel sleeves
Blindfolded myself with them
Dizzily,
I walked in circles.

You didn’t say anything
But I know you so well I could read
Every line—
Every crevice in your forehead
Another word.

My lips clung to yours
Begging them to smile.
My fingers danced on yours
Tightroping
One degree from tipping over.

You didn’t kiss back.
Your lips a marble statue,
My fingers fell off the wire.

You gazed through me like glass
And I knew it was
Our last.

#storm #heartbreak #love #ex #heartache #memory #memories #god #silence #lost