Secret Whispers

Secret Whispers Dec 2018

There’s just one last thing I want to say

There is nothing left for you to fix
There is nothing left for you to say
I guess you really did all that
to have everything play out your way.

I was so careless
I was a mess
Somehow my mind you managed to undress
I cared about your happiness
that for a brief moment I left myself behind
In a puddle of distress
In a empty pattern of unstableness.

I was born with wings that you tried to cut through
There was a disguise that prevented me from seeing the real you.
Giving you time to convince me that you cared about me too..
I guess this is your cue...

I guess the last thing I want to say to you is:
I hope the next time
you look a female in the eye,
you select to be true.

A past experience that no longer hurts
But definitely a hard time that felt the worst.

#dealing #brokenheart #growing #goodbye #my #word #to #you #past

Secret Whispers Dec 2018

Mirror Conversations

I told you about all of the times I believed that you didn’t matter,
You said “baby your heart I could never shatter”
I heard that time and time again in the mouth of another
But time nursed me like if I was her child and she my mother.

I apologize for being so cruel to you
I apologize for all that I put you through.
Just look at how beautiful you done grew
Baby look at all the amazing things that you do.
I am blessed to be... you.

In love with who I am.

#today #stand #tall #proud #selflove #blessed #growth

Secret Whispers Nov 2018

Practically Invisible

I watched as my depression took control of my body
It made me push away everybody
Until I was left with nobody
But me.
I thought to myself “how could this be?”
This wasn’t me.
I was never one to be unhappy.

I gave up
I let myself be
I fell back from the crowd until I was the only thing I could see.
I faked my bright charisma so that no one would see that depression found me.

#depression #foundme #better #happy #overcome #ontop

Secret Whispers Oct 2018

An Apology

At the time it seemed easier to run away
Than to fix our differences and just stay.
It has shaped me into the person that I am today,
But I know my damage cannot be fixed with everything that I say.

I understand the damage I made cuts further than what meets the eye,
Believe me I’ve experienced this first-hand so by now I realize
That nothing good can come from these brittle lies.

I am sorry.

Just as I have had toxic people in my life, I’ll be the first to admit that I was once toxic in someone else’s.

#brittle #lies #apologize #notperfect #human #sorry #cry #hurt

Secret Whispers Oct 2018

Stay

“So that’s it? You’re just letting me go?”

I’m not just “letting you go”,
You see... you chose to do so.
It started off subtle, slow.
I will not intercept with your flow.

Don’t get comfortable, you won’t stay.
It might hurt, be as it may,
I’ll get going and be out of your way.

Someone once told me that my biggest flaw is that I do not give second chances.

#goodbye #proud #flaw #second #chances #nonexistant

Secret Whispers Sep 2018

Dream

It seems crazy how much I love and hate the night,
I cannot fall asleep so instead I choose to write.
If I fall asleep I have these dreams where we’re together and we never fight.
If these dreams were our reality then maybe we could have gotten it right.

We laugh, we dance
I wish I could bring myself to give you another chance.
But I know that we need to keep our distance
Because we both know how soul damaging it can be to live in coexistence.

It’s best if we keep our distance.

#damage #dream #coexistance #soul #distance

Sep 2018

Noone

That one night...

I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......