I close my eyes and think,
Of a life where we’d not met,
Where we’d stay apart forever,
I imagine that’s regret.

To love you is to watch my tone
To love you is to charge my phone
To love you is to quell each maybe
To love you is to FaceTime the baby
To love you is to laugh off fights
To love you is to prolong goodnights
To love you is to praise each quirk
To love you is to hide at work
To love you is to get the gist
To love you goes beyond a list

Heart had been rended into a void.
Something ghastly.
A change had occurred, and the liberty ahead was suffocating.
This was a hurt, a reeling, preceding an exceedingly painful bout of shaking and the occasion of its call was not you at all.
Quite the opposite, actually.
You were the lofty feeling before a fall.

It was the same routine,
She'd get on her knees,
He'd pray her jaw wouldn't falter,
With naught else to bring,
He'd try hard to please,
She'd guide his maw to the altar.

Till a sour taste remained in spaces,
Their waists hastened to fill,
In a glass case, it stayed, faceless,
Its tiny screaming, born still.

You're the only one I have to write about,
Though I've regained my will to live.
How much pain could I have saved us both,
I never knew how much you had to give.

Don't misunderstand me, we had to go our own ways,
I placed too much faith in how we'd separate.
Tried to save you, tried to save my idea, late,
I tried and failed, should've known,
Should've committed to my parting anger, you should've never called my phone.

I remember you in dreams, sometimes I wake up with an empty arm,
I carved my heart into a target, when you left I wanted harm,
Anything other than the shining light of warmth and bickering we grew through all the distance, but the depth and feeling between the raw ******* of *** and reeling images nestled in the difference of our wrists' width couldn't begin to cut away the lacrimal plaque in my eyes after you cracked the glass and I shot to panic.

Those winter nights inside of you,
The way we let each other in,
The way you helped me drift away from how my old man treated women,
After us I almost wandered back again.

If not for losing you I never would've reached out,
I never would've wanted so badly just to die,
You were my fated leap into the madness,
You were the push that caused my heart to fly.

I want to end us on a good note,
I'll fight like hell not to,
I'll push against that notion,
Like no one ever taught you.

I never gave you presents,
It was my way, no matter how many hints,
Or when you'd tell me right out,
Try to cover my brain in prints,

I guess I'm better off the bad guy,
Sleeping around, cold until my clothes come down,
I've moved on, but barely forward,
I've only managed not to drown.

One day I'll find a partner,
Some dawn will find a bed with two,
A house and kids, maybe a power couple,
Though even if I remain in solitude, in stone,
Even then, my life lived alone,
Would be forever changed by how much I let myself love you.

Aggravation rose and continues to rise,
Twitching perpetually, bruised egos and thighs,
"Fascinate me", she seems to say with her eyes,
"One and the same", a renewed grip replies.

Held and withholding, the harsh truth? She lies.
A perfect unfolding of imperfect cries,
Dissolve us, resolve thus, the long night implies,
Enjoy every moment, she belongs to the skies.

There is a cemetery in your heart worth minding,
Where the bones of your lovers are always grinding,
The path in is simple; escape long and winding,
Love is so rarely mutually binding.

Dig me a grave there, keep me bound.
Hold me by the hair, through your fingers wound,
As you push me harder into the ground,
Till I am buried within you, my funeral mound.