She covers her body in art
Hoping one day someone will look at her
And think her beautiful

Etched into my headstone
please write
"eternally happy,
eternally free"

This morning
I sat in the shower
Staring at the razor
On the edge of my tub
Wondering
If the water would turn cold
Before my body did

Your words cut deep
like daggers as they leave your mouth
but all my brain hears is
he loves me,
he loves me,
he loves me

I wanted you to love me
so I tried to play your game
I changed everything about myself
but for me you never changed.
I wanted you to love me
so I made myself so small,
but I loved, and cared, and nurtured you,
I wanted you to have it all.
I wanted you to love me,
I became a chameleon just for you,
I thought the harder I love, the better you'd be
but in the end that wasn't true.
I wanted you to love me
I changed my attitude, my clothes, my hair.
I  became so unrecognizable
you didn't even ******* care.
I will never be enough for you
no matter how hard I try.
I think it's time to let you go
I think it's time to say goodbye.
But God, I wanted you to love me
the way no one ever had
but now I've come to realize
loneliness doesn't sound so bad.

One by one
the list gets longer.
Promises of continuity
turn into emotional tourism.
The word "goodbye"
has built a permanent home
behind my teeth.
But despite the familiarity,
I am still left with a bitter taste.
Alone, I choke on the silence
as I sit in the presence
you once filled
wondering what the hell
is so wrong with me
that no one ever stays

How many times
must I fall
before I stumble
upon the right one?