Secrets

Soul eating monsters

Your secrets, so happy, so perfect

My secrets, so dark, so hurtful

Your secrets fill you with joy

My secrets fill me with despair

You are a saver

So save me from my unending doom

-storymakerinprogress

Secrets

Secrets hurt,

secrets can ****.

Secretes create lies,

Secrets break me.

-storymakerinprogress

I tried
Tried so hard
I love you
So I tried
I went so long
My feelings poured into you
But they couldn't tonight
Why couldn't they come out
Was it because we had a good day
Or did the voices take control
I'm weak

So long
I went so long without you
My precious blade
I tossed you away
I'm sorry
I thought I could get rid of you
My beautiful addiction
I love him
So I tried to be better
Don't you understand
I'm weak

I tried
My arms bleed
Bleed as I struggle for a better blade
A knife
So dull
I needed better
A sharpener
My arms bleed
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry
I'm weak

Sorry isn't enough for what I've done
I love you
You are my world
The blade gave me a call
Did I hurt you
Did I cut you deeper
Did I betray you
I'm weak

I tried to be strong
I wanted to tell you why I hurt
Why I was in pain
How people have hurt me before
I'm weak

The call was too strong
I tried
I'm crying now
Crying because I failed
Crying because hurt
Crying because of my mistakes
I'm weak

I'm sorry
I'm so **** sorry
I need you
I'm sorry, I'm weak
But sorry doesn't mean much if you keep repeating your mistakes
I love you
I'm weak

I hate you blade
I love you blade
I hate you blade
I wish you would go away
I need him
Don't let me hurt him
I hurt him
Because you hurt me
**** you blade
Cut me till I bleed
I deserve it
I betrayed everyone for you
Cut me till I bleed
I'm weak

I'm weak
I'm weak
I'm weak
I'm weak
I'm weak

Secrets
I've got a secret
I can't tell it
I've got a headache
I can tell why
My secrets are bearing down upon me
They are crushing my mind
No one will know
Take it to the grave

-storymakerinprogress

Secrets
My secrets would **** me if I let them.
My secrets would hurt others if I let them.
Others won't get hurt by what I feel if they don't know.
My secrets will **** me, or I'll **** them.
Secrets hurt.

-storymakerinprogress

What is pain

There is physical pain
The kind you feel when you fall
Or you crash your bike
Pain from being pushed
Pain from being hurt

There is mental pain
The kind from bullying
Or being forced to do something
Pain from being pushed
Pain from being hurt

"Are you okay?"
They ask
"Yes"
I say
While thinking no

Help me...hurt me...
Three letter difference

We are raised different
From each other
Yet we try to be each other

Who am I
I can't tell
I'm whoever you want me to be
I thought
You liked those kinds of girls

I was wrong
You like me
A sweet shy girl

You like me but you don't know me
And I don't know you
Thats why you didnt know
Why I couldn't say no

I didn't want it
I'm so sorry if I said I did
I wasn't ready

I want you now
I could take it now
I'm ready now
But I wasn't then

I'm sorry
If I lied
If I hurt you

Physically or mentally
Whats the difference
It's all pain
Sometimes one is so strong it's the other
I hurt you
You hurt me

Can we fix it
Can I fix it
Love me
I love you

You say you're happy
Happy you aren't hurting me more
I need to know why
Weren't we perfect
You were happy
I wasn't, but you were
Thats all that matters to me

Both of us happy
Thats new
We're new
How is life fair
To make both of us happy
Why must we hurt to get there
Hurt
Pain

Pain is everywhere
In everything
We are all in pain
Some more than others
It doesn't matter what kind of pain
Help
Help
Help
Happy
Happy
Happy

We will be happy
I will no longer be

In pain

--StoryMakerInProgress

I'm scared
Scared you'll go
You're leaving
But are you leaving me
Don't leave me

Im scared
Scared you'll get tired of me
Of my depressing moods
Are you leaving me
Are you leaving my heart
Don't leave me

I'm scared
You'll leave me one day
I'm your first
You'll want a second
They always want a second
Then a third
Then a fourth
And so on
You're leaving
But are you leaving me
Don't leave me

Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me
Don't leave me

Please
Please
Please


Stay


--StoryMakerInProgress

An addiction
A release
You love the pain
You deserve the pain
You're not worth the love
Yet you're given love
He loves you
They love you
Put down the blade silly girl
Open your eyes
Look at all of them
They love you
Set the blade down
You will pick it up again
And again
But you will slow your habit
The love will shine through
Pick up the blade
Look at what once hurt you
Look at it with pain
And feel it in your heart
This still brings you marks upon your skin
This blade left scars
Curious marks
It will get better
You just have to open your eyes
Goodbye blade
I may see you soon
But you won't take me over anymore
Not tonight
Not tomorrow
He loves you
They love you
Open your eyes
Embrace the love
Not the pain
Goodbye blade

--StoryMakerInProgress

Make the anger go away
I have so many feelings
They change so fast
But I feel overwhelming amounts of anger
It's so strong
I can feel the bubbling hate
Why do I feel this way
I feel it building up
I want to scream
With the anger comes the voices
Except today they aren't focused on me
They want others to hurt
They want to hurt him
The person I love
They tell me lies
Like how much you hate me
That you're sick of me
I want to yell at you
I want to hurt you
No
It's the voices
They want to hurt you
Not me
Why are they after you
Why are they mad at you
Is it because you make me happy
Is it because you make the voices go away
They want me to be mad
To start a fight
They want you to hate me
I want you to love me
They hurt me
You heal me
Can we talk about the good things
To make them go away
Can you help me
I dont want to be mad anymore
I don't the voices anymore
They control me
They make me my worst self
Make the anger go away
It hurts me and you
To feel this way
I love you
So please
Make the anger go away

"She does it for attention"
Wrong
Attention is what made me start in the first place
Getting noticed
Coming out
It was all a mistake
This is what happens when the quiet girl tries to change
People talk
"****"
"*****"
"Thot"
They all say this
Attention?
Don't I have enough "attention" focused on me already?
Them noticing me
That is why I started
And my home life isn't much better
Safety
It doesn't exist
Trust
Can only be broken so many times
So I take my blade to my skin
Not for you
Or anyone else
But for me
So I can feel something
Cause you make me numb
So I can get what I deserve
Like you say I should
My promises
Broken
Promises
Or
Empty words that don't mean ****
My life isn't as perfect as my smile tells
So I take the blade
To new places on my body
I'm sorry
But attention is what got me here

--StoryMakerInProgress

Slit my wrists; hope to die
Take some pills; start to cry
Knot the rope; pull it tight
Put a bullet in my mind

Momma

Momma you blame yourself
Blame youself for what daddy did
It's not your fault
He chose to hurt us
He's better now
You made him better
I don't trust him yet
You don't either

Momma why do you and daddy fight
I can't stand listening to the screaming
Crying
Slamming doors
You try to hide your tears, your pain
I notice
It hurts me too

Momma what are you hiding
You're hiding daddy's terrible secret
You don't know I know
I cry about it at night

Momma what did I do
You yell at me for trying
You yell at me for feeling
Why can't you be there for me
Why won't you let me be me

Momma you're hurting us
We try to be better
We bring ourselves up
You knock us down

Momma don't you love me
Don't you love me
Why don't you love me
Please don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

Momma

I'm so in love
It hurts

To not be with you
I'm so in love

I'm happy
To see you
I'm so in love

I'm sad
To not be able to sleep with you

Not in that way

Innocently

Pure love is what I need
Need to heal my heart
You have that pure love
So love me to sleep

I'm so in love
It hurts

--StoryMakerInProgress