This emptiness,
This silence;
Will they ever go away?
Make it go away, I pray.

Is it okay to miss the chaos?
Is it okay to miss the uncontrollable thoughts?
Even the ones that I once badly fought.

Emptiness overcame me;
Mental shutdown was real,
It has made me numb;
where I cannot feel,
my breakdown.

My mind plays a series of images,
The moments we could've had,
The life we could've had.

The music I listen to
have been my only guide;
My therapist in need,
While I decide.

Where is home.

What's it gonna take?
For me to enter your mind,
I've heard of a universe;
That you try so hard to confine.

What's it gonna take;
For me to make you smile
The crinkle in your eyes is enough;
To make anyone go wild

What's it gonna take;
For your eyes to meet mine;
There is serenity in them
That I cannot fathom;

What's it gonna take;
For you to whisper my name;
My heart would burst into a thousand flames
And most willingly;
Abdicate.

What you call love;
I call weakness.

Don't mind my bleakness.
I wasn't always this way.

Monsters make monsters,
I've heard somewhere.
I guess I am one,
with no love to spare.

Love makes you feel all kinds of things;
Yet not warned are we
'bout people
whose actions sting.

Correct me if I'm wrong,
but if that's love for you and this is for me,
I guess all it did was make me
Strong.

Write me a letter;
About all the things that haunt you.

Write me a letter;
About the adventures you have.

Write me a letter,
About the imaginations;
That you've created all so perfectly,
In that mind of yours, so fearlessly.

But most of all,

Write me a letter,
Telling me why you'd choose me,
To spend an eternity.
With love that you give out
So carelessly.

The sound of your laughter,
the sound of the waves as it crashes the rocks,
A sunset with a purplish orange tinted sky;

Imagine all of these in one frame,

Thats where I want to be.
Thats where my heaven lies.

Remember when we drove to that desert..
We pulled up a cloth from the back of the trunk and laid it out on the cold sand.

It was night time and we would lie to the world about our existence just to be together.

We would lay there staring at the full moon, trying to name the constellations as it shone so brightly and watch the clouds move as the wind carried them.

I noticed everything..i knew it wasn't gonna be forever..you and I.

I felt the shiver as the cool breeze brushed on our skin, as we laid there talking philosophies, theologies, shooting lame *** jokes at each other that only we understood.
And the stars...they would keep us company..

I loved the way the moonlight touched your skin..how the corner of your eyes wrinkled each time you smiled.
It made me smile.

There it was. That moment.
I wanted time to stop.
"Freeze!" I could hear my heart say.

The more I looked at him, the more happy I grew.
But then again, deep down I found myself worrying too.
I felt my heart sink.
I knew that this moment would be gone.
Time wouldn't wait and yet again, he would be gone.

I remember you walking down the aisle;
Your eyes met mine,
As you graced me with your smile.

My heart beat so hard;
As you kept walking towards me.
I have never loved another;
Who'd made me weak to my knees.
This must be God's decree.

As I made my vows,
with you by my side;
I knew one thing was for certain,
Not even death would dare to take you;
Even if he tried.

It was September,
I left my home;
With gloves on and a sweater.

I walked to the park;
That same place we once had that spark.

I lowkey wanted to see you again,
I knew you were bad for me,
Yet it was hard to restrain.

I left everything behind,
With only you on my mind

The wind blew beneath my feet;
I noticed the trees began to shed their leaves

I felt my heart race
When I saw you on the other side,
With that smile on your face.

We came closer to each other;
The cold wind made me shudder

The autumn leaves changed colour
And they had begun to fall.

I searched for that love;
The one I yearned so much,
But alas you were out of reach,
Out of love's touch.

Seasons changed..
I saw myself in a white gown,
At my final countdown

I know we aren't in touch,
But would you rescue me
from fate's inevitable clutch.

Then at the moment,
I realised you never left my mind
We were 19 and we were entwined.

You were my summer,
And I was your fall.

You were my first love;
The love my heart ached for,
The love that I was ready to wait for.

You were the kind of love
That taught me forgiveness;
The one you never deserved.

You left me heartsore;
The things I liked to do,
Never intrested me anymore.

I died a little everyday;
Until I could take it no more.
It was time to breakaway.

The years went by,
Time healed my pain;
And my sanity,
regained.

Like a phoenix,
I arose;
Ever so strong,
Who no one would oppose.

I am happy,
The way life turned out to be.
I'm finally catching up with my mind.

My heart doesn't have a mind of its own anymore.
The conflicts that have made me miserable have disappeared;
"At ease", said the universe.
And I'm back on track.
Life, don't hit me no more.
No more uncertainties.
I've been through enough for this lifetime.