Do it
don't care if others call you crazy
don't care what they think
don't worry if you'll regret it later
don't end up thinking "what if"
be who you are,or who you want to be
if its what you want nothing else should matter
its your story don't give anyone else a pen.

A silence grips me
as the piercing sound
stabs my insides

Small cascading water
flows from my eyes
gently leaving imprints
on my heart forever

You remember me

And in the stillness
of my breaking mind
I find you
holding me still
whispering

I remember you

as the small cascading
water flows from my eyes
leaving imprints in the souls
all around us

no one knows pain
like
the ones
who
curse their beloveds
and
bleed their heart
dry


like
the ones
who
watch blood bubble up
from wounds
self-made

the ones
who
fill themselves up
just
to empty it all
in a bathroom stall

the ones
who
refuse their meals
and
live for the scale
because
numbers
don't leave

the crying poet
the bleeding cutter
the vomiting bulimic
the starving anorexic
the lost
the empty
the lonely
the unloved

the ones
who
love too much
and
not enough

no one knows pain
like
humans know pain

I pound on the glass,
that is suddenly separating us,
it stays solid, unmoving,
I am screaming,
but my words reach no ears,
the fear, is in the air,
it’s all around me,
suffocating me,
you say,
there's nothing wrong,
you are right here,
but the glass,
it’s encasing me,
help help,
I am yelling,
but still you do not hear,
your face is twisted,
worried,
I can’t reach you,
I can’t tell you,
this feeling of,
utter,
panic

who am I?
Who am I?
what is going on?
I know,
no,
I know.
“panic attack”,
where,
what,
panic,
everywhere,
“calm”
“breathe”
only confusion,

Irrational thoughts come streaming
like destructive fireworks, grenades awaiting to blow
bombs of anxiety that
sit and tick in my brain.

These clock faces are making me go insane.

Yes, I know doctor
I know, mother
the thoughts are not true
that he will control me if I speak to soon
that they hate me because I said I like the colour blue
that I will be alone and everyone else will find true

love.

For people smile at me through gleaming eyes
and glossy lips
with no idea of the hit and miss.

Can they not see the internal hell that wages a war inside this shell of a body?
Can they not see as I hold a conversation, the fear in the corners of my eyes?
Can they not see me back bend, shoulders over as my chest fills with pain, an anchor weighing me down to the depts of the sea.

I smile back and walk on
head down,
try not to see, hear or feel
the invisible figures that

taunt me.