I want my hope to go away forever
To silence its tiny voice in my heart
Get away from me
Shut up and leave
Don't ever come back to me
Yet that tiny flame burns brightly
What do you want
Just stop it already
I want the hope to finally die
Die like the way I died that day
Time has passed
So give up already
This hope of mine torments me
It gently brushes its hands on me
Reminding me
Whispering to me
I want this hope to finally let me go
So that I can finally let you go

I wished you yelled at me
Strike at me, scream at me
Curse me with all the words
Look at me with hatred or disgust

Instead

You stayed quiet
And you let go gently
Whispering those words again
With eyes of hope and heartbreak

Why?

Why did you still love me?
Why did you make this harder?
Why was ending this so **** difficult?
Why did you not end up hating me for it?

Oh

Now I understand
It was hard for both of us
But you were able to live with it
While I can't live with my own choice

I still mourn for you
Although you're alive
Living a normal life
I mourn for the future
That had you in it
I mourn for the death
Of the dreams we had
Crying every night
For a love lost once
I mourn for the version
Of us smiling together
I am pleading with anyone
Bring back what is gone
Because I am tired
Of mourning the loss
Of whom I loved

My greatest fear
Is forgetting how you smiled
The sound of your voice and laughter
Forgetting how you held me 
Forgetting the color of your eyes
My greatest fear
Is forgetting the traits you have
Forgetting our anniversary, our meals
What were your habits and moods
Forgetting everything we had together 
My greatest fear
Is forgetting everything about you
Only to be struck remembering 
How much this stranger
Meant to me