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You are right at your place
When you passed through a tough life
When you are tested at every step
Then very difficult to say
Who is right
Who is wrong

Sometimes you see yourself
Standing on other side for a good cause
Then neither your mind not your brain get align
to declare
What is wrong
What is right

Sometimes
You reach at a place of time line
Might be decided by God or by us
When you put yourself on one side
May be right
May be wrong
Such a thin timeline

Which always keeps you in doubt
And make you think
Was that right or
Was that wrong
But
Life goes on
Life moves on

One thing is sure
You get emotional every time
When reflect those times
Before she is your wife
She is my mother
Before she is my mother
She is a sister
Before she is a sister
She is a daughter
Before she is a daughter
She is a human
And how do I live with the fact that she is just as mortal as
The rest of us
The moment you come across your diary
You cannot resist to take off your journey
by opening it's pages

For every write
Mind starts taking flight
to the time frame
When and why those notes
were written

For some you appreciate with love, joy and smile
For some you are sad and get in tears

You can easily find the change in you then and now
However old is your diary
After completing your journey
You caress with soft hands
Keep again safely at a place
Where no one can hack
I’m clamoring in the stale sheets.

Twisting and turning my body and mind.

I’m drowning in the streaks of defeats.

Awakened and humbled as night and morning slowly become intertwined.

I’m flailing in the wind of obsoletes.

Accepting and acknowledging my unrefined state of mind.

I’m progressing in the ability to make peace.

I’m going to be ok.
I’m going to be fine.
I’m going to be ok.

I love myself, finally.
I've heard I can have anything,
Do anything,
Be anything,
If I'm willing to sacrifice everything
But here's the thing,
I have nothing to give
So nothing is what I'll be getting

©2024
I stay silent
Too often my own words betray me entirely
I keep quiet
To eliminate any possibly of my past tracking me
Must calm the riot
Internal conflict in turn turns reality iffy
Must stay strategic
My mind gets creative trying to beat me down completely
Can't be complacent
Not while losing my footing on this plain of reality
There's no enjoyment
Living with a cranium teetering on the brink of insanity
Fear becomes a constant
So it never occurred to me these walls shouldn't be up permanently
I remain hesitant
When there's no certainty I can take down these walls safely

©2024
I am humble on my right

that can turn arrogant at night

the next card is not known

like ways, my next emotion is thrown



Years came and years gone

where is the end I do not know

the fun was hanging on a branch

that can collapse at any part



Weather was warm and pleasing

the dejected face was freezing

this expression was never shown

it's the nature that always heals



All emotions are complex

what threatens is Short living anger

killing some good vibes

that tucked with us the whole time
Look closer
Even closer than you are noww
Do you see the cracks?
Do you see the inherent sadness in my sweetness through them?
Do you see me being put together or do you see me crumbling?
Am I falling apart or am I healing?
the word family
sits at the edge of my mouth
and throws rocks in the well of my throat
choking me to death
trauma therapy is hard
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