Indeed, I love her!
But can't muster enough nerve
I had rehearse those lines
But as if someone tied my tongue

Afraid of venom of pain
Afraid to be stung
Better to hide it this way
Regret is more painful at the end

She was so alluring
A beauty that could only be mine in a dream
She was every of my fantasies
But how can I charm her
Everything about me was so simple
While she was extra-ordinary

I must act now...

Then I lied...

I told her I am a prince
That I owned the stars
But I saw her shaking her head
She was nothing compared the sun
She was nothing compared to the blue sky
I lost my self control

I began grasping her
Kissing her torridly
Even though a lot of people witnessed what I was doing
Little do I care
I want her badly, crazily...

And then laughter
everywhere....

Indeed people saw me grasping and  kissing someone
Someone in their eyes...
Was only a tree...

written: July 4, 2014
mysterious aries

I barely sleep
How can I? faces keeps haunting
Whenever I close my eyes,  It's like a movie scene
Fairies, ghost, angels and demons
Dramas, thrillers, actions, comedies and fantasies
They're just one blink away

Tell me how to sleep
When a lot of voices enter my head
Some tell me to be good
Some persuade me to do the other way
Even I put my two hands in my ear
Still voices i can hear

Rarely I sleep
Just a nap thanks to those sleeping pills
It helps me show my sleeping skills
But I can't have it daily
I don't want it to be my habbit

Maybe you wonder
Why schizophrenian amnesia not insomia
I don't know the difference of day and night anymore
The scene was so vivid always keeps me awake
Awake that sometimes I don't remember how to sleep


July 3, 2014
Mysterious Aries

Can you blame me for viewing life gloomily sometimes...
As dim as night or even darker...
Whenever I go beyond unreached, I saw strangers within me...
They knows a lot well... They often brought me to the farthest end...
Religion give us hope... But for them there is no hope at all...
For them we are only God's toys...

They knows every fate of human... Death...
That the blade of the father of time was always in our neck...
That every day we became closer to our unhappy ending...
They were so strong...

They began as my sidekick...
When I started counting 1 2 3... Learning ABC's...
I even taught they were a gift... My guardians...
But as time goes by... Their motive was unleashed...
To ruin life... To ate and destroyed mind...

There was a time that i never know me anymore...
They possessed me so much that I can't even control myself...
It's like a beast was unraveled within me...
Their passion was to get into one's head...
To play mind games with it... To turn white to gray...
Beautiful days into rainy... Love to hatred...

My body fell numb suddenly... Here they comes...
They really did exist... My head will be at war yet again...
On what I feared most... My sudden METAMORPHOSIS...



Mysterious Aries

Since I cannot cure my schizophrenia
I decided to end my owned dilemma
I looked for a rope to hang my head
But split in two, that old rope left me undead

But that was not enough to stop my will
In our kitchen, a shining blade
But I pause for awhile for the reason
That I might pass out undead

So I then looked for a key
To open the cabinet
Unsealed the gun that was strictly kept
To put into my head that one tiny bullet
Just one shot and for sure I’ll be lucky dead
I pulled the trigger it didn’t clicked

Then I realized I've never done any
I’m stocked in my lonely room
Chatting with nymphs, those god’s so holy
Then I began to chill while facing demon and ghost so scary

My world was full with delusions
I can fight no more this emotion
Since they cannot cure my schizophrenia
How I wished to end my owned dilemma

But how can I?
They don’t want me to
I was incarcerated in this empty room
No rope to hang this head
No blade to slash my pulse
No gun to point in my head...

written: July 01, 2014
Mysterious Aries

Should I just post it
Those craziness that lingers on me
The day that I faked smiles to my friend
Or the time that I don't believe in God

Should I just post it
My uncountable rants
The time when I'm luring death
Together with my suicide note

Should I just post it
My dark pages
Or should I just keep it
To keep my name clean

What are we doing here?
Strangers uttered to each other CHEERS
We live in two different world
But for unknown reason we were being furled

To a place beyond the outer space
For me a miracle that can't be untraced
Though reason was so unclear
All I know I'm so happy I met you here

Occasion that may take a day or two
Time that set for me and you
A dream that certainly will past
But for me.... truly a moment that will last....

I miss my past, I miss your name;
You cheer me always, you wipe every tears;
You are a friend, to me that's very clear;
But part of me gone wrong, happened when I ride to stranger's song;

I've left  you then, without saying goodbye;
I've hurt your feeling and made you cried;
Right now I'm coming back, sworn to stay;
I'd made my mistake then, I've  learned my lesson;

In my return I'm not that sure, what was destined;
Wishing I'm still welcome, that nothing change;
Listen! I'm begging you honey
Can we start over again?

Sept. 27, 2002
Mysterious Aries