my first crush committed suicide.
i remember the hurt at a young age
from chasing him around his living room
begging him for a kiss.
from my young age i knew i wanted him
in my life forever.
through his weaves and gagging
running around the furniture and up the stairs,
losing him sounded foreign then
and having lost him now, still feels the same.
our fathers drank and our mothers giggled
born three months apart
our future planned together
both saying "i do"
uniting us all together.
life flew on by
us both fighting with ourselves
and downing the bottles underneath the bed
loaded and silenced
family portraits painted in red
long life memories all put to rest.
only one made it out alive
but it's hard to breathe
out of us how was it me
and you in a little box
where a diamond ring should be.
my mind keeps wondering
when will i stop chasing you
then my heart replays
every time you turned a corner
you looked over your shoulder
and how you smiled at me.

Pale to the night sky, my raven haired beauty, her vast velvet midnight that reaches forever
And pale to the bright stars as jewels adorn her, spread to the heavens in sparkling array
Pale to the full moon, her silvery shining, bewitching the darkness and casting her spell
Pale to your sisters of dark night, my beauty
Humbled before nature’s night-time display.

1.11.18 JG

When you're done.
When you've grown tired.
When you've solved all your mysteries.
When you've sated your desires.
When you feel that it's enough.
And you've gotten all that you can get

Would you come visit me
And everything that you left?

He's all I see now.
Everything is him.
He's in my dreams,
He owns my thoughts.
Sleeping is to feel him,
Waking is to see him.
Living is for him,
Loving is for him.
Even with a sky full of stars...
He's all I see now.