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lindy Jun 5
I’m afraid of three things:

1 Being hurt again

2 It being different and not knowing how to act because I’m use to pain

3 What it will take not to feel this way
lindy Jun 3
I want to use my past as an excuse for the now, to explain why I am this way, so others can sympathize with me.  Then again, I don’t even want to speak of it or let others know.  My heart squeezes and my lungs fists whenever I dare to utter an excuse that does no justice.  I want to keep it a ***** little secret but scream it out at the unfortunate soul in the line of fire.  It’s better to just to say it’s not you it’s me because it really is just me.  

I swear I’m not an attention seeking person, there are just times where I need it and times that I want it.  Times where I need to be reminded I’m a person worthy of attention and times where my attention is worthy of capturing.   I need a reminder once in a while because all these why’s I’ve acquired throughout my life makes me forget.  

Sometimes I feel like the barbwire's around my heart are sharper than a roses thorn and the scars that affiliate my bones are too fragile to hold.
lindy Mar 22
i get ****** up
so i can forget the hurt
i'm sitting here dizzy
i don't know where to go

i pick up my phone
and stare at your name
but i know you won't answer my call

i'm dead asleep when you wake me up
i always answer
and you don't even say hello
you just do some ****** up ****
and hang up the phone

but tonight i won't answer
your late night calls
i won't let my heart race
to the shrills of your ringtone

my heart is racing with the pumping of my veins
the pounding in my finger tips
the hot ring of fire around my eyes
the thrill of knowing i'm ****** up
and not off of you

i won't answer you anymore
i know you don't care
what i do to myself anymore
if i'm ****** up, i'm just ****** up

just stop calling me when your girlfriends asleep
waking me from my vicious dreams
because you decided to remember me
now im wide awake at night
lindy Feb 28
May he hold my hand for the rest of time and let me be blessed to be born in another life within the same existence as him, I pray.
please support my families gofundme: gf.me/u/q4zjv9
our family needs help
lindy Feb 14
I’m afraid of three things:

1 Being hurt again

2 It being different and not knowing how to act because I’m use to pain

3 What it will take not to feel this way
lindy Feb 13
you fall in love with people who make you love who you are with them

you fall in habitual with people you think you love because you mistake your anxiety for butterflies

you fall in bed with people with touches you think will last forever

you fall in line that the little you receive is what you deserve

you fall behind because you forgot what being put first felt like

and you fall alone because you exhausted everyone by your side
routinely.
lindy Feb 6
h.w
you didn't make me suicidal
- you were the one who prolonged the inevitable
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