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cristina Jan 2019
My demons fight in
The darkness of
My cold mind. I always thought i
Was alone until i
Was found. It felt like a ray
Of sunshine when i
Was hugged but sometimes i wonder if
It’ll last.
cristina Jan 2019
wolf spirit inside but human outside.
A battle inside but sunny outside.                                                                                                          cursed with fear,blessed with friends.
cristina Dec 2018
Flowers in my head
Flowers in my chest
My throat burns
My heart aches
The pink petals escape from my mouth
Spilling on the cold ground and flowing in the wind
I watch from afar
You walk with him
Your arm wrapped around his
It hurts
You will never know how I feel
You will never know my pain
You will never see the pink petals that come from my mouth
All because of one thing
All because of one-sided love
All because of you
cristina Dec 2018
i want time to fly by
i want to get through college and start my life
but i'm still a kid in my parents eyes.
i don't know why i want to have time go by so fast
im sure others would say be a kid, make the time last.
its hard feeling this way, as if i want to go fast forward to the end
maybe its cause of my depression or the way my life has turned out
i'd rather run away than face all my hardships
i know it'll follow me everywhere, the dark long shadow
hopefully things get better as life moves on slower
cristina Dec 2018
sometimes i feel i'm nothing but a ghost, silent and waiting in the background
everything changes as you get older but no one warned me that a monster was gonna follow me close behind, dragging me into the dark with it
now i just want time to fly by. i'm only 16 and i already wanna get college over with but whats gonna happen after that?
will i live in isolation,feeling ill never be successful or will i actually be able to claw my way out of the darkness and make it to glory?
its just so hard to see
everything is cloudy and dark.
i hope things get better and this monster will leave forever
just a vent poem. i swear i'm gonna write more happy stuff lol. feel free to DM me anytime if you need a friend or just want to chat. have a great day/night! :)
cristina Dec 2018
i wish i could tell her because she always wants me to talk
but its hard to talk about my problems
she always says i'm here if you need me
but sometimes i don't need her
she probably feels i'm holding out on her, that her daughter has some secret life and, in a way, i did and when she found out she burst like a volcano, saying that this wasn't me.
that all the 18+ role-playing and the texting on an app, that i actually found amazing people on, was nothing
that i was turning into something that she couldn't handle
if only she knew the thoughts that go through my mind everyday since she separated me from the girl that i love because our relationship seemed "one sided" and "not real love" to her
i cry every night wishing i could text my Amino friends
i stay up late wondering if they have forgotten about me
my anxiety and depression are feeding off this dark cloud that is now hanging above me.
i know she wants me to talk about my feelings but me talking about the way i feel would lead to nothing but conflict and possibly putting me on pills.
i don't want that
I've fought anxiety and self consciousness since grade 6 and depression came along in grade 7 or 8. I've fought it but now i'm weak and its getting harder to fight.
i cant tell her how i feel but i wish i could tell her
who i am.
just needed to vent a bit. sorry about the slight darkness in it
cristina Dec 2018
bottle it up inside
don't show it
they'll break you
voices that speak only in your mind
eyes that watch you all the time
your voice echos in your mind
scream out loud, let out a cry
no one hears cause its all in your mind
no one sees the pain inside
you scar yourself in secret
no one can know
they'll say your a freak and make you run home
the loneliness will be there, waiting
it hugs you close like a mother/father
it never lets you go
i kinda went dark with this one. i hope y'all enjoy it
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