I lived (unconsciously) to die.
Reckless behavior, bending the rules.
I wanted to **** the butterflies he had given me,
drown them in ***** and whisky.
I tried riding in cars with unknown boys to fill the deep void.
I lost count of the beds I  woke up in,
I lost count of the nights I cried myself to sleep
I hated the loneliness in the morning after having someone next to me.

Live fast and die young.
Excess was not enough.
I wanted everything faster, higher, stronger.
More music, more "friends", more shots, more kisses
More....
               More...
                             More..
I didn´t realize I was slipping through my own hands.
Less time,  less life, less love, less of me.
Less...
           Less...
                      Less...
I kept pushing the buttons of whatever god that was keeping me safe
and I let my demons become the owners of who I usted to be.

I thought I was living the life,
but I was already dead inside.

the air is suffocating
and all that I want
i cannot have because
the fear is too tall

as my heart sways
on a thin thread
don't let me have
one more fall

there are no more
moonlit nights
all that is left is
ashes on the wall

just stay beside me
speak no more because
with my final breath
**i give you my all

you draw a straight line down my spine
barely touching
but i can feel
your soul spilling out of your fingertips.
the taste of your salty sweat on my tongue as I leave my purple print in a place only for you to see.

Near light improvised music
Under a moon so gray
Tomorrow's song
Sings of an evening
Pocketed in the dark
Absorbing us
Breathing us
Feeling us
Pulling us away
And we but following
Our usual routine
Lose track and thought
Of our words and hearts
Lose track and thought
Of our sight and light
Lose track and thought
Of our love,
And we simply
Reminisce.

When I was a little girl,
I watched my mother smoke,
I watched as it consumed her lungs, often causing her to choke
When I asked what it was, she told me it was Dragon fire
I believed her in a heart beat, Thinking it was magic of unattainable desire.

My mother was a dragon
She could breath fire, she could fly
Little did I know then, it was the dragon that caused her to die.

The black coal took over her lungs, the claws ripped at her throat,
As the dragon latched on, there was little hope.
Her wings grew weaker, as they became tattered and fragile
but my mother still drank in the toxic embers, it was her addictive desire.

As her breath began to falter, and her flame began to die,
Her candle blew out, now it was really her time to fly.

Late at night I think of you
Your eyes
Your voice
Your smile
And these words
Pour from my pens
You my darling
Are my midnight inspiration
The thoughts that pop up
As I'm trying to sleep
The ones that make me
Turn the lights back on
Repeating the words so I don't forget
The ones I write twelve times
Twelve different ways
Just to find the right combination
You're the ideas I scribble
As they drift in one by one
The bits and pieces I think of
Every now and again
The reason I can write again
And you don't have a clue
That you my dear
Are my midnight inspiration