I lived (unconsciously) to die.
Reckless behavior, bending the rules.
I wanted to **** the butterflies he had given me,
drown them in ***** and whisky.
I tried riding in cars with unknown boys to fill the deep void.
I lost count of the beds I  woke up in,
I lost count of the nights I cried myself to sleep
I hated the loneliness in the morning after having someone next to me.

Live fast and die young.
Excess was not enough.
I wanted everything faster, higher, stronger.
More music, more "friends", more shots, more kisses
More....
               More...
                             More..
I didn´t realize I was slipping through my own hands.
Less time,  less life, less love, less of me.
Less...
           Less...
                      Less...
I kept pushing the buttons of whatever god that was keeping me safe
and I let my demons become the owners of who I usted to be.

I thought I was living the life,
but I was already dead inside.