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 Feb 2016 Elexer
Ciel
Suddenly
 Feb 2016 Elexer
Ciel
You know those moments
where you just feel so
worthless
for no reason.
Like out of the
blue
the entire world
comes crashing
d
o
w
n
even though you were
feeling perfectly fine
the minute before.

All of a sudden
someone calls you over
or asks for you
and you realize you're so
angry
and there's so much just
bubbling inside
and it comes out.

Except it's not what you expect.

All of a sudden
you find yourself feeling so
tired
and
weak
and all you want to do
is lay down and
dig yourself a hole.

All of a sudden
you want to be buried
but not die.

Every time you breathe,
you feel all of this
anguish
deep in the pit
of your stomach and
in the centre of your chest
and it makes you want to
claw your insides out.

But you don't want to die
because somewhere
deep
deep
inside your mind
you enjoy it.

You enjoy
this sadness
and this pain
and these tears
and all the hurt.
The hurt that makes you
want to disappear
and hide away
and run
and sleep
and fall
and curl up
all at once.

All of a sudden
you're so worthless
so meaningless
and you...
You're not even sure
how you feel
you're just angry
and annoyed
and sad
and everything.

It's so much,
and you can't even register
what's happening.

You just lie there
and enjoy the feeling
in the centre of your chest
and in the pit of your stomach.

You lie there
and do nothing.
Nothing
because that's all
you can do
and all you amount to.
Nothing.
I was having one of those days.
 Feb 2016 Elexer
Ciel
Prison
 Feb 2016 Elexer
Ciel
I bare such useless emotions:
Sadness,
Loneliness,
Annoyance,
Jealousy,
Boredom,
Empt­iness,
This terrible feeling that I’m feeling right now,
This feeling that wants to rip me apart,
This feeling that’s clawing at me,
Tearing me to pieces,
Pulling at my flesh,
Pulling at my skin,
Pulling at my bones,
Trying to break me .
My soul wants an escape from this
Terrible
Useless
Useless
Useless
Prison that holds it captive.
 Feb 2016 Elexer
Ciel
Do you ever wish

The bus ride would never
end,

So you could continue 

To stare blankly 

At the boring

Bland

Scenery passing by

On the other side

Of the horrid
scratched up

window

And not have to deal

With all the ******

Depressing

Empty

Thoughts 
in your mind

That contemplate 

Everything 
and
Nothing

All
at
once
?

Because,

Right now
,
I certainly don’t
want this
 boring 

Quiet bus ride
to end.

It’s much
better
than
the 

Noisy

Tedious 

Thoughts
that
keep

flitting
through
my brain.
cupid's small arrow
is a fly speck compared to
the axe of lost love
Senryu
rain beautiful rain
washing away my heartache
hiding all my tears
 Dec 2015 Elexer
Christina Cox
If I show you these scars what will you think?
The purple ones on my thigh,
the thin pink ones on my stomach,
the thick, raised ones on my arm,
and the small red ones on my wrist.

If I tell you the reasons what will you say?
The self hatred in my heart,
the numb feelings in my soul,
the racing thoughts in my head,
and the moving fingers of my hand.

If I ask you to love me will you tell the truth?
If I ask myself to love me will I tell the truth?
In the end will I go back to what I know?
In the end will I go back to the blades who hold my heart?
The blades who have hold of my soul?
 Nov 2015 Elexer
Mystery Girl
Can we just
Slow down
Going 90 in a 35
Pushing to get there
But what about here
Enjoy where you are
Don't try to be first
Can we just
Slow down
Stop to smell the roses
Sight see a little
Before we move on
Take a few steps back
I'm not going yet
It's all too fast
Can we just
Slow down
I'm moving at my own pace
Turtle pace
Taking my time
Trying to enjoy myself
Before it's too late
Can we just
Slow down
I don't want this
Rushing and speeding
Take a few hundred
Steps the opposite direction
Can we just
Slow down
Leave it where it started
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