A knife to my heart.
I stand as I contemplate, whether I want this
or not.
The sharp blade, lightly caressing my skin,
before puncturing through.
There´s no pain that I haven´t felt.
I´m not giving up,
I´m letting go.
I´m letting go of all the sorrows,
that follows me everywhere I turn.
No substance can distract me,
from falling in love with the blade in my hand.
I used to think it did.
Those days are over.
No love can stop me from bleeding.
No promises can heal my scars.
As I bleed myself dry,
I get this feeling.
I´m finally free.

He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come

I wear my heart on my sleeves.
As in the cuts that bleed.
Where everyone can see that I´m damaged.
How I´m broken,
ruined,
to pieces.
One can never fully recover.
As my cuts turn to scars,
my sleeves will still,
never be the same.
As the same for my heart.

Never allowed to grow
Beyond ornamental,
Small perfect leaves
On small well pruned branches;
To please the eye
Of miniature torturers.


Cramped in a micro life,
Roots restrained
Within un-natural boundaries.
The promise of a tree
Never really fulfilled,
Beyond a whisper.


Fussed over relentlessly,
Like an O.C.D.
Perfect shape and form,
Trained from natural beauty,
To sit on a shelf
Hidden from reality.

a year lost
stolen
taken from me
and now
a year later
i'm still recovering....

i took a few brave steps
to drag myself out
of the hurricane in my head
i was so ruled by fear...
but i conquered it

and as a reward
a few months of bliss
emotions soared high
i could've done anything
on top of the world

but eventually i adjusted
stabilized
then started dropping off
going numb
feeling cold

i was convinced nothing mattered
haunted and plagued by the past
depression took root
everything was wrong
i'd flatlined

to pull myself back
towards reality
i've been searching
for pleasure, pain
anything

i'm reckless
i'm destructive
I just want to feel
Feel my pulse, my breath
Feel the bliss, the wounds
Everything. All of it.
I desperately seek a reminder
I'm trying to wake myself from this nightmare
Jar myself into reality
Because I keep finding myself questioning
If I'm even still alive...?