Never allowed to grow
Beyond ornamental,
Small perfect leaves
On small well pruned branches;
To please the eye
Of miniature torturers.


Cramped in a micro life,
Roots restrained
Within un-natural boundaries.
The promise of a tree
Never really fulfilled,
Beyond a whisper.


Fussed over relentlessly,
Like an O.C.D.
Perfect shape and form,
Trained from natural beauty,
To sit on a shelf
Hidden from reality.

a year lost
stolen
taken from me
and now
a year later
i'm still recovering....

i took a few brave steps
to drag myself out
of the hurricane in my head
i was so ruled by fear...
but i conquered it

and as a reward
a few months of bliss
emotions soared high
i could've done anything
on top of the world

but eventually i adjusted
stabilized
then started dropping off
going numb
feeling cold

i was convinced nothing mattered
haunted and plagued by the past
depression took root
everything was wrong
i'd flatlined

to pull myself back
towards reality
i've been searching
for pleasure, pain
anything

i'm reckless
i'm destructive
I just want to feel
Feel my pulse, my breath
Feel the bliss, the wounds
Everything. All of it.
I desperately seek a reminder
I'm trying to wake myself from this nightmare
Jar myself into reality
Because I keep finding myself questioning
If I'm even still alive...?

My darling...
Come here, would you?
Let me wrap you in my embrace
Breathe deeply, slowly
Maybe gently press our lips together
For a long moment

Come sit with me, Sweetheart
I’ll throw my arms around you
My head on your chest
Your head on mine
Sharing a pulse

Now, what if we lay
Nothing too comprising
Just be there together
Feel each other’s presence
Each other’s vitality
Your breath on my neck
Hands around my waist

I’d feel safe there
In your presence
Your strong arms
Your loving touch
My heart cries
My being longs
To be together

stormy skies
sleepless eyes
dying bit by bit inside
my tears are almost dried
but my heart's still aching
my soul's still breaking

Help me out of this hellhole
I can't take anymore

on a day like this
it's easy to be at peace.
breathe in:
breathe out.

a walk downhill
in the crisp winter air:
fills the lungs
and clears the head.

My baggage
toned my existence

i feel so bad
and i don't know how to change it
i write
i say i'm sorry
i'm sorry for dissapointing you
please forgive me
please dont hate me
i can't continue this

Alone, shuffling music on my phone.
A song long forgotten begins to play.
My heart begins to race, beating faster and faster.
Memories of Her flood across my mind.
Our entire story had simply lain dormant within a simple pop song.
I closed my eyes and fell backwards into a memory.
Her breathtaking smile flashed across my mind's night sky.
A voice so kind and soft was calling my name.
She placed her hand on my heart and felt every beat beneath my chest.
Looking into my eyes, she whispered one thing.
"Forever and always, together we'll be. Out love is eternal, your heart is the key."
She leaned in to kiss me, I leaned in to try.
But then the song ended, and with it, my final goodbye.
Her lips were so close, her soul so near.
Tears ran down my face as I lay in my bed, alone and lost.
Nothing ever lasts, not even Her smile.
Forever and always just meant for a while.