Starts off fine.
Nothing bad in sight.
One spark is all it takes.
Downward spiral into the abyss.
I am quickly deteriorating.
There is no fight left to give.

My mind tricks me into believing that I can be okay.
But I cannot do this anymore.
I am told to take life one day at a time.
But how can that be if each day is harder than the last?

Live life without regrets of what others think.
Don't focus on what you think you should do.
Live knowing you're doing what you enjoy.
Love yourself without judgment.
And look ahead at what the future may hold.

Loosen the noose.
Put the pills back in their bottle.
Place the knife in the drawer.
Don't write that suicide note.

Live another day.
See where life may take you tomorrow.

I am a warrior.
Stronger than her demons.
Braver than the darkness.

Mind is racing.
Leg is shaking.
Palms are sweating.
Heart is pounding.
Throat is closing.
Am I dying?

Laughs and smiles shared over scrambled eggs and ham
Giggles in class as secret notes are passed
Wandering the school halls with no worry in the world
This was the fantasy of childhood
Happy days were happy nights

Now happy days end with panic attacks and tears
I cannot remember the last time my smile was genuine
Joy never lasts and pain is all that remains
The happiest days have the most miserable nights

One.
Salty tear creeps down my cheek.

Two.
Hands balled in fists ready to fight the battle.

Three.
Reasons to say goodbye to those I used to love.

Four.
Walls, that I used to call home, are now the death of me.

Five.
Fingers ready to grasp the blade and make a deep cut.

Six.
Prayers to God begging Him for help and asking Him for mercy.

Seven.
Voices in my head telling me to be stronger than my depression and anxiety.

Eight.
More voices telling me to give up because all I am is a worthless piece of trash.

Nine.
One. One. Call the ambulance because I am about to die.

Ten.
Commandments taught me that thou shall not **** but killing I shall do.