little devil,
when will you leave me?

consume me,
fully.

eat me entirely.

*I don't want to suffer anymore.

I sleep
I dream
I forget
Those moments of clarity
Of realization
And epiphany
Those moments where
For a second
I knew
I was whole and sane
Except I’m not
I’ve got demons
In my head
And the devil
I don’t believe in
Has been
Keeping me awake again

my inner demon tells me,
that if doesn't want me to die.

my inner demon is not a friend,
it enjoys seeing me suffer.

my inner demon laughs in joy,
at the cuts and scars I have.

my inner demon pulls me back and forth,
the cliff of misery.

my inner demon smiles in amusement,
when the people I know leave me.

my inner demon pour alcohol on my wounds,
when I'm crying.

my inner demon consumes me entirely,
and I to surrender to it.

my inner demon holds me captive,
and I to to be inflicted of pain for it's happiness.

My inner demon I can not hide but in order to disguise, I must despise. I look at the mirror to see the blank reflection that is myself, only to realize my inner demon is looking back at me with a blood covered body and scars of my past. It haunts me daily with its empty eyes, it shows no emotion.

My wife has a lump in her belly.
A mini human is in there.
His grandma is excited
His grandpa is...well being himself
I have no doubt i want this.
My real dad never got around to see me.
Though theres not much to see,
Id appreciate a little effort.
Im going to be a dad.
A **** good one
I feel my wifes lump.
This guy isnt gonna know abuse.
He is going to live happy.
I swear.
Its cool,
Im going to raise my family right.
They wont be afraid.
We will be happy.
So heres to you, little one
Daddys waiting
*with love

I bit my lip
It bled.
The blood trickled down
I desire your touch.
I desire you.
I wish you could see
Im like a loverboy with a sign
Making my love for you so obvious.
Im not average.
I wanna show you
What i can be.
Its just...
Im sorry
I love you

I love the way your hands smother my chest.
I love the way your tongue melts on mine.
I love the way your lips brush mine.
I love how your body is so tight on mine.
I love the way you wrap your legs around my waist
I love the way your eyes seek out mine
I love the way you hold me gently.
I love the way your head rests on me
I love the way you run your fingers through my hair.
I love you so much
I need you to know
Every look i get
Every touch
Every kiss
Every time we snuggle
I value it all.
I cant stop thinking about you.
You are so fun.
I never meant to fall in love
But ****,
I couldnt help it.
I love the way we are silly with eachother.
I dont always have to be serious,
You love me more when im not.
You love my humor.
Yeah,
You are beautiful
Godess of the sun.
I love you.
Everything about you.
I cant stop.
You are always there
When i need you.
You love to snuggle
Just as much as i do.
We cant get enough of each others attention
You are so **** cute
You are certainly
*Bae

Talking about things
Makes them real
And that's why
I just don't.

Speaking of my inner horrors
Brings them to life
With gnashing claws
And rotted teeth.

Pushing them back
Bottling it all up.

No one else deserves my suffering.