My anxieties run through me like river
I am not all beautiful
But I am trying to be alive anyways
I drink coffee to join mornings
I take deep breaths to live inside of moments

I observe so I can see you without my presence as a distraction
I take in your lips so I know what coming together feels like
I dance with your hands to feel everything all at once
I leave the blinds open so I can move with nature

All of this is to say that I am working to be here
Please do not add to my mourning
I am human too
I am real
I have feeling in my chest
And I don’t want to shatter
So much so… that I never get to glow

... At least just once.

I wanted him to be you.
But he never is.
And the next one just becomes my next flirtation with distraction,
until he becomes disappointment.
I keep stumbling into those.
I keep chasing after your spirit,
Settling when I see teeth sharp enough to let my secrets through...

I am scared.
I am love.
I am waiting for you ...but,
I keep getting him ...
I am terrified for my heart,
Terrified never to be open
Never to feel because I keep
stepping out,
then shattering
and caving back into my brokenness.

Still I keep reaching...
always lonely,
Trying to stay open for you...

I will remain alone until you find me,
Even if you don't.
Even if you choose not to.


-Indigo Morrison

I can't be your half love...
I can't let you take the good parts and save the rest for later,
because I aim to love you whole,
whole heart,
whole soul,
even if you are the sum of your sins,
I will treasure the silver lining it has made of you.

Please put down your weapon,
I am knees to earth,
my being is open and sharing my light with you.
Wake up in the morning next to me,
get up to take walks with me at 5am.

I want you...
Not just this flesh that you blessed this earth with
but that soul you have built from shattered glass, tattered love, lonely hearts creating lonlier hearts...
You have assembled a masterpiece.
The universe is in awe of you.


-Indigo Morrison

God has got to be angry
with the way I keep calling his name...
But, he some how isn't able to hear me
with the way I can't make myself keep breathing,
my eyes fill, but nothing leaks
I have nothing left to lose and he keeps missing my call...
Our schedules aren't matching up
And I can't find the heart to keep reaching for his...
My lips are swollen from all the biting,
my eyes are burning....
He wont answer me so I can rest,
So I can breathe ...
I just want to breathe.
....People create loneliness
So I keep trying to fill myself with myself
But its hard to love you when you keep forgetting to forgive yourself first.

-Indigo Morrison

I have been begging you to stay here since you landed.
I have seen the hole you've kept hidden,
the sadness that you keep at bay in the daytime.

I have felt the nights devouring you,
Some nights the moon can't tame your sorry's,
when you are too tired  to exist here...
I understand the hardship of placing feet on ground when you wake,
and to not stop moving.
You are still unsure if you will be able to keep going if you pause too long.

No one knows you are lonely,
and sweetie you are far too lovely...
Share yourself with someone.
Give yourself over to being here, feeling something.
Pain and happiness are necessary to sharpen and soften the best parts of you.
The sun will not always rise for you,
but we can pretend.
I'd let you see the world however you want to
if you
stay here.

P.S. Thank you for staying here.
No one knows why, but the ones who love you sighed in relief when they knew you stayed to join the morning.
As did I.
As did I.

-Indigo Morrison

If you wanted me
I'd have given you all of me.
I have never been in the presence of something beating beautiful...
You are what secrets bared to the moon are made of,
You are feeling without seeing,
So much more live and all consuming.
You are eyes I am searching when I find myself at peace in coffee shop.
I am not simply running from lonely with you,
But wading through chaos finding peace in that storm
Sometimes next to you...
I would share in the rain
beating window,
And wind making a free woman out of me... with you.
I would share my freedom ...with you.

If only you'd look back at me,
You'd no longer find
Girl part hurricane,
Flying too close to the sun,
Always running,
Trying to create a love story out of your mouth and those hands.

-Indigo Morrison

I have shed layers underneath layers of hiding
To give you my undoing.
I have saved myself for you to witness this.
I have been waiting to bare my truths, no more than once,
But just for you.
I have been saving my yes… for you.
And locking away my vulnerable for the man who would not destroy me in it.
It is your lips, your hands, and your body letting down its bullet proof.
There are no walls here,
No mountains to separate my hands
From your back, your lips, your chest,
All skin, on skin, on skin.
I have been building on my freedom,
And I am here now
Ready now… to revel in it,
With you.
Only you.
Always you.
I trust you not to ruin me,
But do not be scared to break me… down in this room,
Break down in this room
Let go inside me,
Fall slowly beside me.
I am no judge
There are no rules.
My body was crafted with you in mind,
Your hands were skilled in prelude to my pleasure.
There is no stopping here,
No moving too fast,
No going to slow.
I am meant for you, now.
You are safe in me.
Say the word,
Say it,
We can die a million times together here in this room.


-Indigo Morrison