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Indigo Morrison Jan 2015
"I'm trying so hard not to feel so empty, but everything keeps falling through... "

-Indigo Morrison
Indigo Morrison Jan 2015
I fingered apologies
all down your back,
as I kissed goodbyes into
the crook of your neck.

Bared my body bullet proof
as I shielded you from my beautiful,
I wanted you in this now,
without fear of my leaving.

So I made my mouth both
release and distraction,
knees holding me together ,
hands racing down then up,
daring you to break our movements,
begging you to forget my shortcomings,

My ..." I can't stays"
My ... "You will always be beautiful"
My ... "I see you, but I am not yet ready"

Pulsing hot,
ready for whats next,
Bodies banging bullet proof,
hoping that I have driven you,
into me, but away from my heart...

As you whisper...
"Take it in"
"not just now"
"take me in"
"not just now"
"Take me"

... And then I realized,
I could never,
Come down enough,
Blow down enough,
Bang our bodies
bullet proof enough...
To make you not love me...

But, I am not falling.


-Indigo Morrison
  Dec 2014 Indigo Morrison
Devon Webb
I wish I was
sober enough
to kiss you
properly
  Dec 2014 Indigo Morrison
Samantha
He told me he likes Bukowski.
That was the first sign.
You see, boys who like Bukowski and me
Don’t get along.
You see, Bukowski and me
Don’t get along.
I’m a Sylvia.
I’m an Anne.
A Maya and a Virginia.
You see, I am well versed
In death and silence.
You see, I have no interest in
Alcohol and misogyny.

He told me he likes The Smiths.
Now The Smiths
In and of themselves are great.
I’ve always been a fan of melancholy,
Of heartbreak.
Now The Smiths
Who have been morphed into this
Pseudo intellectual mirror are not my thing.
You see, boys pin me to a pedestal
For merely knowing who Morrissey is.
You see, I don’t care if
Dying by my side is such a heavenly way to die.
You see, I don’t plan on dying with him.

He told me he drinks his coffee black.
That would explain
Why when he kissed me
I tasted nothing but bitterness.
That should have been a warning.
You see, I need a little sweetness.

He told me he smokes cigarettes.
You see, cigarettes remind me of my father.

He told me I’m not like other girls.
As if other girls are a disease.
As if I am this magical creature.
This manic pixie dream girl with wings.
You see, there is nothing special about me.
I am me. Simple.

I told him he was a sad boy.
A boy who pretends like he’s wrapped in barbed wire
But is really a caged petting zoo animal.
A boy who will smile like he has a secret
But really has nothing to share.
You see, sad boys drink whiskey.
To me, whiskey tastes like listerine without the mint.
You see, he tasted like whiskey.
You see, he reads Bukowski.
You see, he listens to The Smiths.
You see, he drinks his coffee black every morning
And smokes a cigarette on his balcony
While reading the newspaper
And listening to a vinyl record.
You see he doesn’t love me.
He loves the idea of me.
He loves the idea of sad girl.
You see, there’s nothing romantic
About a boy who thinks romance is a Hemingway novel.
You see, I hate Hemingway.
You see, sad boys and me don’t get along.
Indigo Morrison Dec 2014
You have taken the lovely bits of me and compiled them into this beautiful being. You have forgotten the ***** bits, or detached them from your perception of me... and that isn't fair. With this, you are saying that the whole of me cannot be loved ...Please take me down from your pedestal.
Please let me breathe on level ground.
I am still quite busy ascending from ashes into something that could put out the marvel, the adoration you have for the sun.


-Indigo Morrison
Indigo Morrison Dec 2014
I am not the girl that you settle yourself for.
I am the woman that you solicit ***** words to but never touch.
The woman that you kiss but never wed.
That you dance with but never share home.

I am not "welcome mats"
Or "family dinners"
Nothing about me will ever settle you.
I am full lips,
And soft hands,
Dangerous mind,
And beautiful goodbyes"
I am pleasant "good mornings"
But only because I leave it there.
I am not see you later.

I am the after thought of beautiful,
Something elegant but,
not sensual enough to give into,
smart but, not notable enough to settle for,
I am heaven sent but not suited for marriage,
And I am wet dreams, not yet solid enough to build on.

I am too long, heart on sleeve
But not steady enough to keep you there.
I am kisses too far overdue,
But not striking enough to linger after in your morning.

I am sorry that I cannot be your sun
And I love myself too much to be your moon.
I am sorry,
I have to leave you here,
I am sorry,
I took up so much space in the aftermath,
The in between,
Of you and the one girl who will settle you.


-Indigo Morrison
... I guess this is in reference to the girl who is always 12am thoughts but, never mid summer afternoon's.
Indigo Morrison Nov 2014
I am clawing at happiness,
Hoping that it finds me a suitable vessel.
Because, these days are blurring together and
I am seeing endings where there should be ******.
I am filled with leaving
And too scared to scream to the people  I love,
that staying frightens me...
I am finding nothing here
And I am neither good at sitting or good with standing,
And I no longer know in what direction to move one step forward...
I am living in scarcity of myself,
Putting together the scraps of myself
that I no longer want,
But it is all I have.
And my God am I trying to hold on.
I am trying to see the sun
without wishing for the moon.
Wishing for the moon
and waiting for morning.
There is no ground I want to stand on...
There's no hands that leads to arms for me.
You are not here
And you are not willing to lend your heart
while mine is out seeking restoration.
I've always been the woman saving herself
But, how many times do I have to break
in order to be filled?


-Indigo Morrison
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