I idled my life away
Spending it in my mind
Of all the things I wanted to do
But dont have the guts to do it

I drink in your iridescence
Guzzling away my sepia feelings
cleansing my palette and covering my developing rust
A drop of you brightens my hue
Gold-tinted, radiant, sun-kissed
Breathing new life

Moon gates, desert graves
Lantern streets, orient haze
Coloured glass, ember past
Traversed sky, lone magpie

Nothing to remember us by
Not a trace to our memories
But I know it's out there
Transposed somewhere in the celestial records
The  brevity of love encounter

horse-drawn, shrouded in a ring of fire
blazing heart on chariot
a vestal hyacinth
dipped in liquid sunset
lips dripping ambrosia
with a kiss of paparouna

I thread ever so carefully
Every strand of you
Weaved into the fabric of my being
Under tension was picture perfection
But don't look at the knotted bottom

For I cannot bear to cut you off
I will live with the open sores
Waiting for a word from you
To be finally restored

I will not deaden the pain
I will bear the lacerations
To keep my heart open
The price for your possible return

I wish time was nonlinear, then maybe our forever could coincide.

If I could quit you in an instant I would, because this heartache feels like it's suspended in eternity and yet I feel so rooted within the hush tenderness

Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder
It breeds conflict, uncertainty and feeds on discontent

We became enamored and we created art
You picked the form and I picked the hues
It was a masterpiece because we loved the art

And even if we have parted hereafter
I hope you'll always remember us this way
The way we made impassioned art together

"One more time under this moonlit night I ask, to take a chance and throw caution to the wind"
"Listen to you, don't you ever give up?"
"No never"
"Oh why not. You're funny and life is short"

Back against the pasture, tracing puffed clouds
Day and night I'm in a daze
Waiting for your time of day

Like the sun that always misses the moon
The constellation weeps for them

Memories of you are so vivid
It feels like an out of body experience
In which fantasy and reality are commingled

The ocean kisses the shore
We're sailing paper boats out yonder
Though you're the waves and I'm the sand

I've never learned to fall
I've never learned to love
I've never learned to cherish and hold
But I've learned to never let go

Let's go to a place where only wild flowers grow
To feel the sun radiating off our skin and hear our laughters in the wind

Me: I should move on. I should change. Be a new (better) person.
Aslo me: *hides in my memory palace

Funny how you could spend a colossal amount of time stuck in the recesses of your mind. Lost on delicate thoughts about growing a herb garden or mulling over fictional characters.

Yea, me too.

i miss the late night conversations we shared / you climbing onto my bed whispering something about the dream you had / hands clammy / breath shaky / your voice filtering through my sleep deprived mind / you asked if i am still listening / and i hummed a lazy reply / you snaked your fingers between the spaces of mine / taking all the blanket while we talked through the night / when your eyes finally closed / i murmured sleep tight / unsure as to who dozed of first / we held each other's hand till the break of light

i remember braiding your hair / de-tangling the knots / weaving a pattern you're sure to unravel it as soon as i'm done / you displeased and me peeved / we didn't speak for a quarter of a week / but of all the times we fought and all the unplanned shenanigans / we are still each other's significant

and soon, time will go by / and we will grow old / my dear sister / how can i let you go to a world so cold? / it play well into my fears / becoming two separate entities / constructing memories from ambiguities / the hallmark of our sisterhood / shackled by our adulthood / though i'm not ready, i know it’s time for the new / for our arc has concluded, so the next chapter can take root / i wish you infinitely well / so let’s work together to become the greatest version of ourselves

Their love created a paradox
Like Schrondiger's cat of uncertainty
Great in theory, but not in practice

Unspoken words reverberates like the Doppler effect
A product of her own creation with undesirable outcome
****** if she do and ****** if she doesn't

OF WHOM SHALL I FEAR?* / SHE ASKED THE VOICES IN HER HEAD / I AM SPENT / DECOMPOSING / SCARED OUT OF MY WITS / THE WORDS SWIRLED IN HER MIND FOR SHE COULD FIND NO ABSOLUTION / TEARS CLUNG TO HER EYES AS SHE STRADDLE BETWEEN THE LIVING AND THE DEAD / IT'S DISMEMBERING HER FROM THE INSIDE / THE DEMONS CLAWING ITS WAY OUT / SHE WEPT / OH HOW SHE WEPT

SO THERE SHE WAS TRYING TO FIX HERSELF / BURIED AND TRAPPED UNDER THE DEBRIS OF ATONEMENT / TRYING TO WEAVE HERSELF OUT OF THE ELABORATE SELF-MADE LABYRINTH / EYES DANCING WITH FIRE / SHE LAID EVERYTHING BARE WITH OPEN PALMS / REACHING UP TO THE HEAVENS / SHE PRAYED FOR RESTORATION

AND SUDDENLY THE VEIL IS LIFTED FROM HER EYES / A CHORUS OF VOICES CHIME IN HER CRANIUM / OF THE STORIES SHE WAS TOLD AS A CHILD / OF THE HYMNS SHE SANG WHIST STANDING IN THE PEW AMID THE MASSES / ONE STOOD OUT AND SAID / I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD / WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME / DO YOU NOT KNOW / WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS / **I REMAIN