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Time of death:
3:44.
When you told me you don't love me anymore.
Place of death:
The park where we met,
on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remember the dreaded words which escaped your lips,
the heat in your words,
the look on your face,
as I took a metaphorical bullet to the chest;
it hurt like Hell.
Cause of death:
You.
When you stabbed me in the heart for the first
and last time.
A fatal blow.
But in the coroner's office,
all the report will ever show is:
time of death:
3:44.
Cause of death:
Trauma to the chest.
When your heart gets broken by someone, it feels like you've been struck in the chest. The air feels like it's been knocked right out your lungs and you feel as though you can't breathe. You feel a mixture of emotions all blurred into one mess. You play the final exchange in your head over and over again, and each time it gets harder and harder. Heartbreak. It feels like you've been stabbed in the back and shot in the chest all at once.
 May 2018 Penny Iloa
sassenach
I lived a petrified life
frightened, and terrified
afraid to love
and not to be loved

I shut everything down
kept the door closed
my feelings hidden
and my thoughts locked-up

It was all pain
full of despair
covered with so much darkness
and a total block-out

The grief of letting go
I am losing myself
when you found yours
in another's arms.
 May 2018 Penny Iloa
J Ann
Our book of love is written in braille
I can read into our love story
But I am too scared to open my eyes to see it
Because one can daydream a story up in a minute
But we never want to face and see the reality of what it will be
We all want to look into that persons best attributes
But looks can be deceiving
So go with what you know
And stick to the story that is slowing being written
Because skipping a chapter will only leave the reader lost
And once lost it will be hard to be found again
 May 2018 Penny Iloa
Thebeau
Love
 May 2018 Penny Iloa
Thebeau
ABCDEFGHIDONTKNOWHOWTOLOVEANYMOREJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
 Apr 2018 Penny Iloa
Ted
"Vandal"
 Apr 2018 Penny Iloa
Ted
Graffiti itched in stone,
A hearts message known,
Forever love will have a home.
Forgive me father,
for I am Sin
and I am here
to take you in.

Its been thirty years
since my last confession,
but mere moments
since your last transgression.

and though you thought
all had gone unseen,
your hands and soul  
remain unclean.

You took
our Father's Sacred Trust,
and through it proclaimed
yourself as just.

And, while children,
yes, they will believe,
the eyes of mine
you can't deceive!


I know what you did
and you know to who,
and I'll not let you
draw the curtain through.

Your crimes,
these I will expose;
For my friend,
the victim no one knows.

No one knows him,
because he's dead.
because of you.
Because he bled.

You see,
he thought he
was just a boy.
Not some secret to destroy.

So,
it didn't make sense to him to live,
because of what you said
and what you did.

But, don't you ever believe
that Our Lord allows
men like you to break these vows,
and then disclaim
and then rebuke
a boy who dared to speak the truth.

You watched as a child sank and died
and to the Courts, how loudly you denied.

But,
don't believe that I am ever fooled,
and my vengeance will not be overruled.

For I am Sin,
and I don't care how much you cry.
**My Hell awaits the day you die.
written for my friend Kevin
 Apr 2018 Penny Iloa
Meera
My pen bleeds
As its ink seeps
My words cry
The seer weeps
I keep scrawling
Until my pain recedes
Walking on my way
Where my lament leads
Crumbling to bones
Changing to fit the needs
My frailty drives me
As nothingness breeds
In madness I did
Those fearful deeds
Now I'll have to pay
The price of my greed
Making me suffer
My demons succeed
In the garden of love
I feel like a ****
I am looking for my way
To the flowery meads
Where the chains will be shattered
And then I will be freed
Sometimes you just feel lost and there seems no way out
 Apr 2018 Penny Iloa
maddy
self worth is self hope
how much do you have?
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