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Arii 1d
Worth anything?
It’s killing me
Worth anything?
No, that can’t be.

My failures and mistakes
make up who I am.
So when you tell me that it’s okay
What am I supposed to say to that?
Arii 5d
Tick, tock.
Ticking down.
I won’t live much
Longer, now.

T i c k ,   t o c k .
Ticking down.
My time is flying past,
And I’m too tired to chase after it.

Will it be okay
when I’m gone?
When I disappear
and don’t return?

T   i   c   k   ,     t   o   c   k   .
I sure hope
I don’t amount
to anything more

Than I am.
Arii 5d
The reaper can take my soul when
I don’t want to
go to sleep
Or think or cry or feel or hurt or know,
Or live.

I’ll burn and burn, a flaming waste
Of broken glass
And broken words
The world wouldn’t stop to grieve
Or stop to see
Me die,

It’d continue to spin how it’d always done
And I will fade away.

In peace.
Arii 7d
A lighter in my hand
Cigarette in the other

My mouth hurts like knives
And my stomach eats at my insides

The tiny stick catches flame
And smoke rises with my pain

I inhale the relief and waste
And whatever else it contains

It’s a tiny minute fire
Like my dying desire

To die in a six foot deep ditch
With nothing but my pack of cigarettes

And a busted overused lighter
I hope it catches my body on fire

When dirt covers my rotting corpse
And flora starts to grow

Don’t put a gravestone over me
For I do not have a name to be known

By the world the life and sun
It can’t get me anymore it can’t make me want to run

I hope flowers grow over my body despite the fumes
Like the smoke and soot that I consume
Arii Mar 27
I wander across a silent land
As a miserably lonely man
Following the call of
An early morning bird

With nothing in my head,
And nothing in my hands

The bird, in all its morning cheer
Chirps and trills for all to hear
It sings even though there is no crowd,
Its song is as magnificent as it is loud

It holds its head up, proud and high,
It looks up daringly at the sky,
Like the clouds are challenging it
To fly

It leaves the branch it rested on
Wings spreading as it took off
And I still remain a lonely wight,
But maybe I, too, can take flight.
  Mar 25 Arii
Jia En
Because I know
I will never be more
Than second place, will never go
Further than them in your heart for
Every time I try to reach out
You do an about
Turn, face your back to me
And all I can see
Is this huge wall
Immune to arrows, bullets, fire
And so every time I try I fall,
My body
Parallel to the bricks
And ground
And around
Me
Is nothing but the faces of the friends I
Know you've made in my
Absence but I really
Didn't think it would be
This quick.
friendship after graduation just hits different-- or should i say it doesnt hit at all.
  Mar 24 Arii
Jia En
"No, not like that. That's not how
You're supposed to behave around
Other people. What will they
Think of you now?
What will they say?
Stop moving, they're going to
Stare at you.
You're being too
Loud.
Chin down. You look proud.
Why can't you smile more?
They didn't approach you before
You did them because you feel
Like an ah lian. No one
Wants to deal
With you. You're no fun
To be with. Stop talking.
No more dancing while walking.
Don't waste their time. No.
You can tell they want you to go
Away.
Why are you so
Emo
Today?
What's wrong with you?
What're you trying to do?
Why are you intruding? They
Don't need you to stay.
Stop disturbing people. Go make
More friends, you loner. Can take
Less food or not? You need
A 23-
Inch waist, I say already.
Ayah, not smart enough.
Why so weak? It's not that tough.
Wash your face
And wake up. This place
Is too
Good for you."
See?
It's easy
To be
My own Asian aunty.
i can parent myself i guess
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