We haven’t for a week now
And I’m hurting
With the fury I imagine
Burns in hell.

And I want to hang from the ceiling
My limp body hanging above the ground
My lifeless skin hung tight
But I don't have the energy to move
Don't have the knowledge to tie a noose
And so I'll stay in my bed all night

And I want to slit my wrists
Have blood rushing out from each cut
My skin, blood red
But I don't have the energy to slice
Don't have a sharp enough knife
And so I'll just lay here and wish I were dead

And I want to be hit by a moving car
Have the driver throw me oh so far
My body dragged along the ground
But I don't have the right
Don't have even half of the might
And so I'll wait for my body to be found

And you'll be my resolution
Because in the end you are the issue
The light in the darkness
The darkness in the moon
Like an unhappy sailor is to his crew
Like the lost paddle is to the canoe
I need you

I think the thing that hurts the most is that I'm not willing to admit I loved you
I think trying to hide the fact
is tearing me apart and you're fine
And you're okay
with seeing me time after time
In the same way
in the same ******* state
And I'll never again look at you
with the same desire
I once held true

Hold her close, she ‘s no one else
Just for a moment, then leave her to herself.
Warm her hands, only to have them cool
Kiss her mouth, leave the drool.
Tell her lies, then block her ears
Tell her you love her, then tell her no one cares.
Freeze her heart, shatter the ice
Pick up the pieces,
You
Are
Her
Vice

A soulmate
is all the parts of you
You thought
you hated
They show up
and challenge
Who you thought
you were
And show you
who you can be
With a bit of love
and a whole
Lot of natural,
loving energy.

He told me he loved me and
I bleed from the heart
He told me that he needed me and
My spinal cord snapped
I told him it was over and
In time it came back,
I came back.

It's no one else problem it's mine my own
I should've just stuck through it all alone
I should've sewn my mouth shut and kept it at that
But instead I had to fight not realising they would fight back
And I tried to do it I really did
But I'm not strong enough to go through with it who am I to kid
I'm weak and that's all I will be
I mean look at me how can you not see
He can take it all **** it let him
I've got nothing left this is my last whim
And so I'm pulling out like they all expected
I'm lay down the gun and let them put it to my head

No one loves you like your mother.
And god I hope that's true,
because my mother looks at me
with eyes colder than blue.

When you told me you were seeing someone else,

A familiar sense of curiosity swept over me,

I wondered if it was who I thought  

It would be



I knew, but I could tell myself I didn't know

It was a suspicion with merit, sure

But the confirmation was missing  

Was missing



You made a mistake and told me,

Without really telling me who,

I knew. And now I know

I wish I didn’t

I love you so much

I wish that I could give you this eternity

That we could have a little old black cat

Who we were convinced was a witch

I wish we could grow with her

Sharing all our hearts between us three

And I wish we could cry together as her time came

And plant flowers over her grave

And mourn and feel and fall on each other

Like leaves on the ground

I wish we could spend our eternity

Laughing to lull us into sleep

In our old bed that you’ll complain hurts your back

But that we never change

Despite the creaks and the way it feels

Like it might break under us

Because it never does

I’d spend my eternity running early

And you a little bit late

And we’d meet somewhere in the middle

I’ll always ask you to turn your music down

Your response will be to dance when I do

I won’t be able to help but laugh and join you

We’ll have an eternity of loud music and silly dances

I’ll eventually put up with the way you play your music

Because you put up with my bad singing

And we will be the most annoying people in love

In the nursing home

I wish I could give you my eternity

I know we’d be so incredibly happy

But my eternity is ending early

And yours is running late

So you’ll have to bury our little witch alone

And plant the flowers on your own

But know, I love you so

You spat knives
That hit my heart
And you shutting your mouth
Didn’t stop the bleeding
I know I’ve stained your soul
But you’ve left irreparable holes
My heart can’t take this
And your mouth tastes like acid
So you kissed my veins
And my blood turned to poison
It burned through me
And you undressed me
To see the damage
I was naked
Nothing but a broken heart
And scarred skin

The water that I love holds me tight
and in my heart, ignites
Everything I think I can be
And all the dreams that make me, me.
The cold water then rushes my head
And fills my whole soul with dread
Of who I had always hoped to be
And how that could never really be me.
It runs down my throat
And feeds me the lifeless boat
Of drugs and pills and anti psychotics
It takes me away from my dreams and heroics
But it keeps me from drowning
And it stops me from downing
So I’ll let the water hold me tight
And find safety,
rather than let myself ignite.

When I look through your eyes
I can’t see me
Just the shadow of something
... demonic
And when you look though my eyes
You still can’t see me

My notes are full of conversations I never had

Not with you,



They contain words unspoken and unheard

But definitely felt



I wonder if you knew they were there

I wanted you to



I wonder if you could read them  

On my face



When I’d cry at night next to you

Did you hear?



Did you choose to ignore the hurt

You caused?



Was it easier for you to pretend  

I was the problem?



I wonder if your disillusion caused you  

To see me as happy

  

If you saw my notes you’d know

I wasn’t.

Not even close.

You looked deep into my eyes
Like you were searching for something
And I hoped you were looking for me
But you were looking for yourself
So I closed them, **** your ego.

He gave me a daisy seed
But no soil to plant it in
And asked me to hold out hope
That it could grow from nothing

I’ve cried in more dressing rooms
Then I care to admit,
I had the feeling that
It wasn’t the clothes;
It was me that didn’t fit.
But we aren’t supposed to all
Conform to “off the rack” shapes
And grow and skink so that
Our clothes can accommodate.
We are supposed to be
The standard they set.
Our clothes should fit all of us
So that we can feel our best
Don’t let those numbers intimidate you:
You’re the standard to be set.
That’s what the clothing industry
Hasn’t figured out yet.

I don’t want to admit it
But I’m waiting by the phone
Waiting for a text or call
Saying you want to come home
But I’m just waiting
Waiting waiting waiting
Why don’t you come

We had a argument

I don’t even know why
Or how it started but
I began to cry
Uncontrollably and
You didn’t
Understand why
But in the past
Arguments like that
Would end in fist fights
And cruel words
So when you didn’t
Lash out at me
I couldn’t
comprehend
It

Or that kind of love

You **** me like its love

And I crave your love like

it’s the air I need to breathe  

And so, I use your ***  

to satisfy my needs

You like them sick,

With an appetite of cigarettes and ****

Yours, to be specific

Small enough for you to scare

But big enough for no one to care



You like them easy,

Freakish in what they’ll do to please

Only you, to be specific

Willing to do everything and anything  

For their all mighty king



You like them dumb,

It’s easier to get away with it that way

For you, to be specific  

Bruises raise less alarms  

When they’re wrapped in your arms



You like them disposable,

Dolls you can interchange whenever you want

For you, to be specific  

When you get bored of her  

Swap her for someone else you’d prefer.

I gave you my heart  

But you didn’t realize  

Because piece by piece  

A heart is easy to disguise



But I gave it to you in the strokes

Of my hand on your chest

And in the beating of my heart

When we laid down to rest



I saw the chance and I

Snuck it in through soft kisses

And you didn’t notice but  

I put in in our interlaced fingers



I saw it gather in your eyes

Saw you piece it back together  

I hope you hold onto it tightly

Because you could have my heart forever