I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

Please gods, help me get up
Today it’s one of those days
When I just want to lay all day
Hide in between the sheets
Fight monsters in my dreams
They are nicer.

I believe there’s good things,
I believe in breathtaking moments,
I believe in the times
where the stars look just right,
I believe there’s good in people,
Even if the bad stands out,

I believe there’s bad things,
I believe in nights
where it’s a little too dark,
I believe there’s times where
You believe you are playing chess
With life, and suddenly,
there’s no one playing with you,
And check mate seems to be 2 moves away

I believe that with happiness, comes sadness.
I believe that with rage, comes peace.
I believe that with lies, comes the truth.

I sit here with a moving clock
to my left waiting to be stopped,
waiting for life to sit down,
and finish what it started.

I believe in Good and bad,
I believe there’s a beginning,
But I’m scared there’s no end.

I want to
go right
And pick
the perennial
flowers
That cover
what the eye
can see,
I’ve seen
the Fields
of Indian blankets
And spider lilies

I think
of myself
laying Down
and resting
my eyes
As the sunset
showers me
With color
and despair.

Today
I’ll go left
instead
To see
what waits
For me there.

I stare out my window,
Waiting for you my love,
Trying so hard to stand still,
So you recognize me
Even if I’ve grown old and wrinkled,
And my dear, please don’t cry,
As my flowers by my window wilt
Call 911 they need some help.

Please, Please don’t let them die.
Since you left,They have been my only friend
Since you left, they learned to love me
Since you left I’ve grown to love my flowers,  maybe It was wiser For them to wilt before me,
They loved me more than I loved them.

They couldn’t handle the pain of seeing me
Pass away by my window,
Waiting for you.

As the sun sets,
I see familiar
And unfamiliar cars
Driving by

People that like me
Have highs like
No other,
And lows that
They’ll never get over.

I look out into the street
One last time
As cicadas sing their blues,
I wonder who’s truly right
Or who’s terribly wrong.

Oh, how I’ve missed you,
Shining jewel of the Caribbean,
Petite isle of the eccentric.
I still remember your streets,
The way they curve up the mountains,
Mountains that you can see from the coast
Where the water rages war against
The corals and the sea wall.

I’ve seen you at your lowest,
Broken down by the winds
Of prophesies,
Your people cried blood
And sweated through your
Unrelenting days.

Oh, but the way the cosmos dressed
The night sky, clashing with your beauty.
It was almost worth all the pain and suffering.

He who walks
Will find that
The stinging
summer sun
Leads the loved ones
Over clear waters.

Beneath elegant
Palm trees
That when time to
Take a break
It creates a shade
Like no other.

The perfect place to sit,
Only when the flourishing
Mountains casts a shadow
On the other side of
The extensive range.

Even so, it’s such a
Beautiful place to sit.

More when the made
Of fat and skinny and
Happy and sad and
Continuous life
Is there to observe
The sunset that
Changes the sapphire
Blues to flaming oranges

Ready to be taught by
The twilights of the
Most unfortunate and
The seducers.

A dark tunnel
Where the Young
Women jog
And the cows
And the pigs
Have tasted blood
And the morning sun
Is taking a little
Longer to come up.

Tunnel
that can only
Be traverse with
Experience and
Burning cinnamon.

And oh, evil one.
The night will cast an
Eternal veil.

And what an enormous,
And eternal night this is.

What a lonely night.

And evil one,
Between the burning sea
And the pale morning,
You’ll find the quiet
Of husks and dead fish,
Trembling foam of
Retreating waters,
And messages in bottles
Never read before.

And silence will come
Wrapped in a blanket,
Galloping on beach *****
And flying machines that
Leave faster than they go.

It’ll cure the absence of warmth
While the days, the months,
The time passes by.

The morning will come,
Brandishing celestial blood,
Turning the sea ablaze.

To let you know,
That you have escaped
Once more.

I woke up today,
My thoughts scrambling
Through my head,
The noise is uncomfortable,
So much that I can’t go back to sleep.

I stand up to go to work,
I untie my hands and do my usual,
I get dressed and out of the corner of my eye
Shadows dance and drink, making a mess of my room.

I try not to pay attention, as they drop me down the stairs, right to my front door.

I reach for the doorknob,
I grab and tap it.
Waiting for it to open,
But shivers run down my spine.

As my lungs fill with red and oranges as I inhale
And an emptiness only the woods understand
As I exhale,
My hands continue to tap the doorknob
From Right to left
A symphony to my hears,
Dopamine On the tip of my fingers

Suddenly but not so sudden
the door opens,

And I feel,
I feel like a knight without his armor,
Like a doctor without his stethoscope,
Like a prisoner without his cell
Like a kid without his favorite toy.

Maybe I feel too much,
Maybe feeling is not the problem here,
Maybe I’m wondering about the wrong thing
And I need to remind myself to breath
Because the emptiness its unbearable.

Something is missing,
I should go back inside.

I walk behind empty gas stations
And broken windows,
My palms sweaty from the heat,
I think of the polar caps
Slowly melting away.

I open the door to my apartment,
I sit down on my leather couch,
My hands are no longer sweaty
But, I am still sad.

I was thinking,
And while I was thinking,
My name wasn’t called,
I wasn’t needed like I was needed before
And how quiet it was drove me down
A dark road.

How boring it must be
To be able to wake up in
The morning and do
What you need to do.

I will dance around
My kitchen table
As dishes pile up.

I will lay on my bedroom
Floor as the laundry
Screams that it needs
To be done,

I would go into the bathroom
If it wasn’t for the person
In the mirror that despises
Me so much.

Oh but when I get that spark,
That little moment of clarity,
time stops,

I become a fraud and can’t write
Poems anymore,
But the way my hands move
Around the dishes,
How fast the laundry walks itself.

It must be perfect to live
Like this forever,
But oh, how boring.

Sometimes
I give a hard look
At myself in the mirror,
My eyes gleaming with
Sadness that has followed
Me from down the road
And my hair all *******
So it doesn’t show how
Much it has grown

I tell myself
I want to be a poet,
Someone that writes
And moves and
Yell’s at you how gritty
Life has been lately.

But it hasn’t been all that gritty,
Or *****, or painful or-
Maybe it has.

Somewhere I read,
That a dead man
Loves the hardest,
That what only matters
Is how good you walk
Through the fire,
That let life not separate us,
And who cares about death?

I’ve come to hate and detest,
Those who hate,
But when will it be,
That I take upon
My shoulders to love.

And love is not
Like a gas stove,
But more of
A bonfire
That turns night
Into day.

So warm to the touch,
But so beautiful
To have when
It’s 1:00 am
On a cold front,
And god,
I just need
Another
cigarette.

Please,
Let me love
Again.

I’m begging.

Be it in death,
Or alive.

Be it awake
Or dreaming.

Be it through
the extinguished
Fire,
Which means
My walk hasn’t
been that great.

To the one,
That lights it
Again.

I am between
Dying and not dying.

I’m probably not
what you want.

Neither am I,
What you need.

But I will love,
The type of love
To move states,
To be alone
If it meant you
Would be coming
Through the door
Any minute now.

it will
Also be rumbling
And the ground will
Shake and
I won’t know how
To tell you how
Much I really love you.

But I will try,
I will try so hard.

To be all I am,
And all I am not.

I lay on the floor
besides my bed,
My cats wondering
what’s wrong with me,
Walking back and forth
And back and forth,
Just to end up laying on the
Floor with me
I’m trying to sleep
To forget,
How your eyes gleamed
Hurt and betrayal,
I’ll get up today
And tomorrow
And the day after that.
But on some days,
I can’t wait to lay
On the floor to think
About you one more
Time
Until the day it’ll be the last.

This morning I woke up
with music rolling
down my sleeves,
I sit up and as a soft ballad
That the universe sings
Runs laps on
the rims of my ears,
Making me jump up from my bed
To slowly put out my arms,
I can barely keep my eyes open
As I look to see
My right hand holding
unto the hips of the non existent,
My left hand grabbing
Tightly unto the hand of memories,
I waste saliva to ask the quiet room
If they are ready yet,
I don’t wait for an answer,
I slide through the path
That has been walked upon,
I twist and turn and smile.
I let the emptiness
rest upon my arms
As I let her down
as close to the ground as I can
Just to bring her back up
In a subtle graceful movement.
The music stops
and I let go.

Let’s run
from the inevitable ,
Let’s leave our city,
and buy a hut,
close to the edge
of the world,
Closer to the lies
than the truth,
Closer to the things
that keeps us waiting
for more than misery
and a cloudy night sky.

Let’s escape,
The unexpected,
the inescapable,
Let’s run away.

And if you ever
leave me, my love,
The edge of the world
will comfort me,
In the darkest of days,
On the unstable nights,
I’ll fall through
mountain range,
and waterfalls
of despair,
Just to wake up
by your side.

Just to fall back
asleep to the rhythm
and warmth
of your breath.

let’s run away
to the edge
of the world,
not to jump off,
But for once Live.

I sit outside in 100
Degree weather
Sweating bullets
while Smoking
my first cigarette
Of the day

Even if it’s torture
I actually enjoy
How it feels

Raw and unfiltered
Just like the thoughts,
That rumble away
In the form of questions
And ****** encounters
That haven’t happened
And probably never will

I crumble under the heat,
As I sit patiently
Waiting for the noise
Of the wasp
That flies near me
To go away

So I can light
another cigarette,
And expect to forget
How love felt.

life is full of efforts




the effort to breathe,to walk, to think, to talk, to be.




Then you walked in.

They say death
Feels Peaceful,
Then it must feel
Like the shade
Of the branches
Of an old tree
Dancing with
The summer breeze,
Giving the sun
Enough space
To warm up
A specific spot
On my face.

I haven’t
experienced
That side
of death yet.

I’ve seen how
It hides
in the rot
Of the well
deserving,
Bringing peace
to those who
Yearn it.

I’ve seen
The cries
Of those
Who fear
It.

I sit
Underneath
The tree
Feeling
Peaceful today.

So
Maybe
Another
Day.

The way your eyes glisten
when you smile,
Remind me of the white
sand back home,
Warm to the touch,
getting washed ashore
With the reminder of foam
and one more night.

The sea rocks itself to sleep
while you talk,
Even in times of storm
you would give me peace,
The sun comes up
and comes down when you
Say the word
and can’t seem to keep up with
The way your lips curl.

The way you walk,
the way you think.
God, if there’s a god
he must have been proud
Of making you.

The sea will come for me,
drown me underneath
the weight,
tell me that
what I’m feeling is wrong
But how can I be wrong
when all of that stops when you talk.

I can’t keep up with you,
and I probably never will.
But if you gave the word,
if you told me you needed
me for a moment
I would miss an airplane
to be there for
you.

Even if I’ve seen this everywhere,
in movies
in books,
in songs.

I will never get to love you
how I want
to love
you.

And it’ll always be my fault.

I wish i could pass out
in your arms
and
wake up in your bed.

Wake up, smoke a bowl
and go back to sleep
on your sun kissed skin,
so warm to the touch.
Getting warmer as my fingers
lay thoughts and trails down your hair.

Lay on your chest
and let my hands wrap
around you,
trace the mountain range
that runs down your back.

And for one last time,
Make you happy.

Mil besos
No replicaran lo que siento
Ni lo que hay entre mis sesos
Empiezo, Te explicó,
Sin embargo palabras no se traducen
A lo que pienso,
Te siento,
Tan cerca de mi,
Pero a la misma vez tan lejos
Como a las estrellas en la noche, que brillan fuera de mi alcance,
Como el fondo del mal, que me arropa entre sal y sufrimiento,
El olor de tu ropa trae pensamientos
Que entre tú y yo
No son tan Santos,
Tu pasado y presente
No se comparara a tu futuro
Ya que será diferente conmigo a tu lado
Te diré cuantas veces te extraño,
Te diré te amo,

Y yo siempre esperare
Ese “más”

The universe
Will speak to you,
In between silence
And forgotten words,
In the movement of
The branches of a
Full crowned tree,
In rushing water
And the color
Of the sky,
It will answer
Questions,
With rays of sunshine
That mark your skin,
Love the Forrest,
And the mountains,
And the ants,
And the spiders,
All the creepy crawlies,
And animals,
Smell the flowers that
Bloom this spring,
Feel the rash,
The bite,
The sting,
They all deserve
To be happy.

We all do.

Lately it feels wrong to write,
It feels like there’s not enough time
For what I’m trying to do,
For what I’m trying to say,

I feel trapped in a room
That recollects memories
Like a homeless man
Collects pennies and dimes
And blesses the people who
Give it to him.

Instead I get summer rains,
Days passing by,
A roof over my head,
And maybe, just maybe,
I’ll get blessed with a wonderful day
Where nothing matters,
Not even the rain,
Nor these invasive thoughts
That go knocking at my door.

I open the door to say hi,
They always lead with smiles
And open arms,
This time they tell me to let my car deform itself around a tree,
To hug it and never let it go.

But it’s one of those days I don’t care
About what they say,
So they left leaving a little pamphlet behind.

imagine,
sitting in some rocks
at the border of the beach,
wondering,
feeling adventurous,
Asking the milky way for
permission
as our lips interlock ,
and our minds become one,

the sound of the sea becomes our bed,
the light the stars emit,
becomes the electricity
between touches,

both of us not able to open our eyes,
as the moons reflection in the ocean
showers us with gratitude,
the blood racing though my veins,
gravity pulling me down as
my breathing becomes heavier

i feel high on happiness and adrenaline,

who would have thought the next moment
i would be drowning in the sea.

Today I left my skin hanging
On the closet door
Took out my skeleton
For a walk
Let it breath fresh air,
Touch the leafs that are
Hanging on low enough.

We sat underneath the shade
Sad and thinking,
Thinking and sad,
About things out of
Our control,
Unlike the branch
That sweeps the floor
When the wind takes it.

More like the shadow
That humbly holds tight
Unto my Feet.

Neither my bones
Or me understand it
Even if it’s a part of me,
A third of me.

There you lie,
Majestic and indifferent,
Star jasmine that wraps
Itself around my legs
And up my back

I can’t help but be sad
At the fact I know
This won’t last,
But for now

Your curves carve
A path for me to
Find myself in,

And it’ll rain,
It’ll snow,

The sun will burn,
And the sands will
Scorch my palms and knees
As I crawl the valleys
Down your back
To your feet,

I’ll wash away my sins,
As I drink and get drunk
Of you.

“It’s raining outside”
I say as we lay on the bed,
You sleeping on my chest,
The sound of it hitting the ceiling,
The chills it brings with it,
And us just existing together,
Two people that
didn’t know truly
what love was
Loving each other,
Learning along the way.

the rain gets heavier,
I can feel the warmth
of your every breath
on my stomach
Letting me know that
We are both alive.

I fall asleep with you,
And when I wake up
Still drunk on love
You tell me

“It’s raining outside”

Always keep in mind
Your soul
will be written on paper,
Immortalized
for future generations,
Be it good or bad
Or bad or good,
Your energy will
be transformed
Into words.

See,
I couldn’t tell her
how it felt at the end,
Neither could I apologize
For the things that I did.
But oh, how she shined the same,
Be it if she wore lingerie,
Or her favorite dress.

I’ll find myself
thinking of her a lot,
Her smile that brightened
So much that it would
Dim the lamps,
The bulbs,
Even the sun
If it had a chance
To cross her path.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off
Of her,
Only when she directed
My gaze,
Her eyes twinkling
Like the stars in the sky,
Now so far too.

Every now and then,
I’ll reach out,
Feel the warmth
Upon my arms,
But then I’ll stop
And take a step back,
Because apologies
aren’t enough.

As I drive back
from Beaumont
After almost
Getting scammed,
Me an my friend
Start Laughing
Uncontrollably at
The events
that unfolded,
To our right over
The barricades
Of the highway
and behind
The Minute Maid
Stadium,
A multitude
of skyscrapers
Stand like
well dressed
Business men
Wearing the sky
Like an
elegant hat,
Suddenly
They part
Ways for
the highway,
Glaring the
Suns shine
On each blue
Tinted window
Like a wave
Frozen in place,
Waiting to
burst against
The busy
people driving
Home or
maybe to work,
So many
and so busy
That the crowd
starts to
Grow and
the car stops,
I put on some music
For the wait and
Find comfort in a
City I thought
Once cursed.

As the river formed
By the rain
Creates casualties
Through the creaks
Of the streets

And the birds
Swoop down
From the clouds
To have a drink
From the new
Source of life
That has sprouted,
Purified by
the indigestion
Of the planet,

I find myself
Thinking past
the thoughts
And contemplating
Upon the never ending
Spiral that sits
On my kitchen table,
Rotting with time,
Not being able to move
As if it glued itself
Unto the wood,
Obsessed with
Making me roam
Around the room,
Turning it into
My own personal
Psych ward.

What a way to live
In this age.

Between the freezing
Rainy days,
your cold stares
and deafening silence,
I don’t know which
One is worse.

Why don’t we sit together
To enjoy the sounds of the city,
Like moss on a rock
Watching dragonflies
Fly by as their
Wings gently caresses
The maga flower that
Hangs down their petals
Upon the shadow
Of a colossal tree
Who’s trunk has grown
Wrinkled with age,
how tall
Does he Stand,
Majestic as skyscrapers
That blend into the night
Sky with lit windows
As stars that shine
A spotlight upon the streets,
I can only see it on you,
My love that in between
Sitting quietly,
Throws glances at me
Like daggers against
A target dummy,
Followed by a smile
That stitches these
Wide and deep wounds.

When you go chase after your truest desires
and feel places where there wasn't a fire before burning,
In a rage of passion,
as hot as the sun and the stars,
as bright as dawn,
and the night doesn't symbolize
sadness and depression anymore ,
and the moon isn't loneliness,
and the stars aren't laughing at me,
from above
the place they rest,

And like that
begin to transform the magic
you emit
into a breath of my soul,

breathing again,
water becomes oxygen,
i'm not drowning
in the depths of myself
Anymore.

Thanks to you,
My Love.

I sit down,
Near the flame
Riddled coals
On top of a box
That’s made
to cook pernil,
My dad opens it
For the 100th time,
To show me how
it’s going,
Excited,
This is the first time
They have done this
Since they moved to
This little town
Of broken arrow
Oklahoma,
He hands me a beer,
Sits down and tells me
Of past heartbreaks,
Even the ones before and
After my mother,
That I should
Stop with the
cigarettes,
Lectures,
I sit and listen,
With a new perspective,
Skinnier than I was last time
I was here,
With how good the food is
I might leave with the pounds
That shaded in the shirts
That I wear,
My little brother,
Playing the piano
He got for Christmas,
Wearing a grinch shirt,
My uncle comes in,
Sits down and talks about
His time with my great grandfather,
I find myself happy,
Listening
Invested,
In times of loss,
Of regret,
Reborn,
A Red Baron,
Among the ashes
Of what once was.

In times of discomfort,
We’ll flourish
In between shivering
Trunks and mildew.

The pollen of a new
Life will give and give
To generations to come.

And as the shadow
Of a well crafted cloud
Covers what the eye can see,
We’ll fly high above
With the sound
Of a solitary bell.

And we’ll do,
In a glorious fall
Ignited in passion
That melts the skin
And scorches the bone,
As comets and stars do.

The sun sets
Right as the many
Steps that I’ve taken
Have gotten me so close

And now I’m begging,
Laying on the side
In a room that
Screams profanities

While the moonlight
Creeps through
The blinds
Splashing the
Color of the furniture
Against the walls,

The browns,
      The reds,
The greens,
      The oranges,

Oh I can feel
My body dipped
In ink, weighed
Down like a
Branch full of leafs
Or
A shackle that ties
Itself around my veins
Or
Maybe my stomach
Is full of stones,
Or
My heart has grown cold.


For the love of god,
Please,
            PLEASE,
                         PLEASE!

Let
me
find
peace.

I think back
To those moments
Where you can grab
The rays of sunshine
That rarely come through
The clouds of a week
Of rain.

Or the blankets feel
Like the hugs of
A past lover,
Compassionate,
Like the ever haunting
Weight of the person
You truly loved.

And the night
Serves as a companion
As you gaze up
To the stars,
Wondering if they
Ever feel the need
To gaze back.

The skeleton of the trees
have gotten their color back,
The cats play among
The fallen leafs,
All while a hand grips
And holds tight unto
My chest.

I’m waiting for the night
To show it true colors,
So I can feel at peace,
And let go.

Can I call?
I want to listen
To you sing
What you've
done lately,
Hear you crack
Open a can
Of laughter
That has been
Saved up
In the attic
For the past
Few months.
Rations you
Had saved
Up for a
Better day,
I want to
Be quiet
With you.
And hear
You say
That everything
Will be okay.

Inclinado en una tarde sombría,
Entre tinieblas y la falta de calor,
Te solté como un pájaro nocturno
Y te vi volar entre las primeras
Estrellas que centellan tú llegada
Como mi alma cuando la tocastes
Por primate vez Amor mío.

Y aunque fui yo quien te solté,
Eh ido marcando con antorchas
Tu llegada inesperada.

Tengo historias que contarte,
Comida para enseñarte,
Besos que regalarte,
Callados, delirantes
Se pierden en este pueblo
En donde te amaba.

Oh mi vida,
Entre el silencio que me arropa
Y la voz algo se va muriendo,
Algo de angustia y olvido,
Algo entre las nubes y las estrellas,
Algo como la caída de un árbol.

Sin embargo, mis cuerdas vocales
Se bañan entren estas palabras fugaces,
Algo canta entre señales de humo,
Gritar, cantar, huir entre hojas
Marchitas del invierno.

Tú estás aquí, tú no huyes,
Tú me responderás hasta el último grito,
Sin embargo, alguna vez vi como corría
La tristeza debajo de las olas de tus ojos,
Y mi todo, apenas quedan gotas temblando.

Y triste y fuerte amor mío,
Que haces de repente que no llegas?

To you,
How much city
Do you need,
How much hunger
Will suffice,
You have feet
That will walk,
You have hands
That will do,
A voice that echoes
Through the shining lights,
And ears that could listen
To the beat of the stars
That shine above
The sky scrapers,
The city will bring
Spring and summer,
So dress in color
Since today the wind
Was born among
The rain that puddles
The streets.
laugh, crying will
Bring so much cold,
More cold than forgetting
To live.
And I will laugh with you,
Parked outside a diner
On a rainy day.
It doesn’t seem that cold
Today my friend,
The roots of the trees
With fallen leaves
Are healthy,
Waiting to flourish again.
Oh, how much city we have,
So much thirst.