If pain is the body's way of telling you something's wrong,
how does it tell you when something's right?
Is it feeling love? Adrenaline?
Or is it something simpler
like having more energy or the ability to smile? Maybe it's all. Maybe it's none.
Sometimes, I just wish I could know for sure.

I've noticed the older I get,
I worry less about my mortality
and more about the quality of my memory.
But then I had an epiphany:
maybe we weren't meant to have a good memory. Consider this: by your 30th birthday, you will have been alive for 10 thousand days. Would you want to remember it all?
Maybe it's OK that we can't remember.
Maybe it's OK if we forget.
Maybe it's not a reflection of your intelligence
if you can't recall the names and faces
of everyone you've ever met.
That's not to say memory loss isn't scary.
But if there's one thing you can hold on to:
even if you forget,
someone will remember for you.

So tired of being the owner of a heart that's broken
All I want is the courage to love with arms wide open
But everything I've seen and everyone i know tells me it's not worth it
But how could it not be worth it?
Every time I start trying to make myself better
My brain keeps asking does it even matter
The hardest thing about living with depression
Is when you lose hope you'll ever notice your reflection
But just like there's more than one way to hurt
There's more than one way to heal
And you deserve to know that your pain is real
There's gonna be some bad, but it's gonna feel so good
When you realize it's OK if you're misunderstood.
It's gonna take some time, but you're gonna be ok. Because for what it's worth, I'll be with you every step of the way

Associated with Death

Most of my life,
Death has been interested in me.

Like a crush teasing you
Just letting you know it's there.

A new song you put on repeat
Because it resonates in your soul.

It would disappear in the bad times,
Take hold in the good.

A stranger.
A best friend.

I'll be associated with death
The rest of my life

Because I decided once
It was time to die.

We always search for meaning.
We always ask for reasons why things happen.
But we can never seem to agree.
What if that's because meaning is an extension of our perspective?
They say beauty is In the eye of the beholder. What if we considered meaning the same way?

Everyone who's ever lived, ever dreamed, is a gambler. You have faith that your health and your youth will still be there tomorrow, and it seems like a safe bet, so you go all in. Again and again. And you're right. You win every time. But what they say is true. The house always wins eventually. So, maybe you start to slow down. You're worried your dream has changed from a hand of blackjack to a spin of the roulette wheel. So you kneel down, and pray to lady luck for guidance. She replies "taking care of your family doesn't mean you can't keep your dream alive. You just have to make more calculated risks."

Consider this:
at its core, a ghost is typically described as little more than a restless spirit.
Given this description, it's not too much
of a stretch of the imagination
to suggest that you don't have to die
to be a ghost.
After all, things change every day.
It would be concerning if you didn't feel lost or anxious at some point. The question then becomes "what do you do if you feel this way?" The answer: remember who you are and all it took to get you to where you are today.