There will always be reasons to quit. Sometimes, your body may even reward you for it.
"Quit starving yourself. Look at you.
You're miserable. Help me help you.
Just one smoke. Just one drink. And that's it. No more headaches. No more shakes.
You'll feel like you can think clearly again."
And your body's right. You will feel better. Because change can be painful.
Especially if you're trying to do it alone.
But the saying is true.
If you can push through the pain,
your body will be grateful eventually. And you will gain a new lease on life.

If what they say is true,
that there's always room for improvement, maybe the opposite is true as well.
Maybe there's room for failure too.
Don't misunderstand.
I'm not suggesting you don't try.
But life is a process.
And failure, mistakes,
they're as much a part as progress.
So, while it may never seem like an option,
I hope you come to find it's OK to fail.

If pain is the body's way of telling you something's wrong,
how does it tell you when something's right?
Is it feeling love? Adrenaline?
Or is it something simpler
like having more energy or the ability to smile? Maybe it's all. Maybe it's none.
Sometimes, I just wish I could know for sure.

I've noticed the older I get,
I worry less about my mortality
and more about the quality of my memory.
But then I had an epiphany:
maybe we weren't meant to have a good memory. Consider this: by your 30th birthday, you will have been alive for 10 thousand days. Would you want to remember it all?
Maybe it's OK that we can't remember.
Maybe it's OK if we forget.
Maybe it's not a reflection of your intelligence
if you can't recall the names and faces
of everyone you've ever met.
That's not to say memory loss isn't scary.
But if there's one thing you can hold on to:
even if you forget,
someone will remember for you.

So tired of being the owner of a heart that's broken
All I want is the courage to love with arms wide open
But everything I've seen and everyone i know tells me it's not worth it
But how could it not be worth it?
Every time I start trying to make myself better
My brain keeps asking does it even matter
The hardest thing about living with depression
Is when you lose hope you'll ever notice your reflection
But just like there's more than one way to hurt
There's more than one way to heal
And you deserve to know that your pain is real
There's gonna be some bad, but it's gonna feel so good
When you realize it's OK if you're misunderstood.
It's gonna take some time, but you're gonna be ok. Because for what it's worth, I'll be with you every step of the way

Associated with Death

Most of my life,
Death has been interested in me.

Like a crush teasing you
Just letting you know it's there.

A new song you put on repeat
Because it resonates in your soul.

It would disappear in the bad times,
Take hold in the good.

A stranger.
A best friend.

I'll be associated with death
The rest of my life

Because I decided once
It was time to die.

We always search for meaning.
We always ask for reasons why things happen.
But we can never seem to agree.
What if that's because meaning is an extension of our perspective?
They say beauty is In the eye of the beholder. What if we considered meaning the same way?