All my actions
All the words I've said
All my choices
All the colors of the fate
To me, they look and stare
But they don't actually exist
I've made them up
So I could give a meaning
To being alive
To stay here
Like it really matters
But it does not
I'm just fooling myself,
like everyone else
And when we'll die
We will realize that
But it will not matter again
Cause we'll be gone
Forever,
And never coming back

I didn't even have you
So yes, I cannot lose you
But I did
But I do
I'm losing you
every second
that I don't have you
by my side,
by your heart
every second
that you don't have me
in your dreams,
in your thoughts
But there's nothing I can do
I cannot have you
I cannot lose you
But I did
But I do

I cannot reach you
In any thought of mine
Or in any universe
Or in any destiny of god
But my desperateness for you
always exists
In the wormholes
Or in the unknown galaxies
And I know it, I will love you
until cosmos reaches its limits
But guess what,
no one knows
when will it
or will it ever
As my love's existence and fever
But I accepted it, your impossibility
Now even a dream of you is actually enough for me
Because love is not about having
It's about feeling
And I can feel you even if you're not here
Or even I have never touched you or hugged you or kissed you
I don't need any memories to love you
You are enough for me
just standing somewhere
breathing, laughing somewhere
Somewhere where I've never been
But it doesn't matter, cause I've learned
How to always feel you
Within my being

It was so beautiful
Like we've known each other
I wanted to hold your hand
But, of course I couldn't

I just wanted to hold you
Wanted to embrace,
Wanted to touch your face
Feel the heat of your skin
Hear the beat of your heart
Ready to be teared apart
But, of course I couldn't

I was so close, so close to do,
to do all of this!
Was so close to you,
so close to lean and kiss your lips!
Wish I could, how I wish I did!
I asked myself, right said should left said shouldn't
And of course, I just couldn't...

In every face, I search yours
In every sound, I hear your voice
In every look, I see your eyes
In every place, I dream I'm in your arms

Always, and always
I think of you
I think of you and how you think of me
How I wish my poems could make you see
that how my love is deep and real as my pain
I'm aching, every night and day
but I'm hoping, that you'll love me someday

All the time, when the sun is gone
or when the night is done
All I think is, you and your face
I'm curious of how your lips taste

Just, please
give me a chance
I know that, you will not regret
Just let me touch you, and your heart
Then you will understand what I meant

You come, you go
No one notices
You laugh, you cry
No one sees
You yell, you hush
No one hears
And the worst part is,
you got used to this
You think you deserve,
all of it
You're not worthy
You mean nothing
If you disappear,
no one would care

I'm right here
Don't you see me?
I'm just a silhouette,
standing here and there
Touch me now!
Say that I'm gone!
No, I'm right here,
front of you while,
all of you laugh, talk and share
But soon, I'll be gone
I'll do the inevitable
Because if I'm gone
I'll no longer be,
invisible

The undiscovered, sweet soul of mine!
It's always crying, every day and night
Neither someone else or I
can help it to make it fine

It is sad and sour and bitter!
The undiscovered, little soul of mine!
Just waiting, only for your sight
So it can be free again, free as light!

It is dark, dark as the midnight
When there's no little bit of sunlight
The undiscovered, lonely soul of mine
On its own and invisible like time!

Bursting out your name, every day and night
Crying, its eyes are red, red as blood!
Wants to hear only but only your sound
Oh poor, undiscovered soul of mine!

Alone,
on my own
Just me
and my thoughts
Only,
this person
Its feelings
and nothing more

Thinking,
alone
Talking,
in my world
They don't,
hear me
'Cause I'm just,
on my own

Screaming,
punching the walls
No one comes
'Cause i'm at home,
with me
and myself
Doesn't ring,
even my phone

Saying,
this and that
Why are you,
so ******* bad?
I don't,
even understand,
why are you,
so ******* dead?

Open,
your ******* eyes!
There's no one,
who can realise,
that you,
******* exist!
That's why,
you want to end it,
all
So you can be,
in the dark,
alone

Just

on

your

own

When you feel like all come to an end
Remember me, please
Just remember
Remember the time that I hold your hand
for the first time
Then I kissed your lips
You said it was fine
You're the only one, that I want
to be touched by, or to be loved
Then I touched you, then I loved
More and more, it didn't stop

Remember, remember the time that I told
I told you everything will be alright
Nothing is consistent, not even our love
You got ******* first, but then you got
That even our love
will eventually die

Remember
Remember when I hold you so tightly
December, I think it was a cold and snowy
You said "God this must be heaven!"
I said "But Satan was also an angel."

Remember
Remember all of those times
I was so blind, I was so dark!
I couldn't see your beauty, not enoughly!
Because "This world is a hell" I thought
"Nothing can fix it, nothing can solve"

I was no good to you
I just soaked up your shine
I needed to tell you
But you thought our love is divine

I couldn't say that, not to your face
I had to leave, so I just left
"Why?" you screamed "Why?" you said
"You took my heart, isn't this theft?"
"I'm sorry darling, we've come to an end"
You said "Why? We loved each other
Now you're saying to me just don't bother
Leave me be, I'll be gone
And that will be how our story get done"
"Yes", I said "Yes I will leave
And that'll be the end of everything I feel"

I had to lie, I've got to lie!
Or I could never, never be gone!
You think I'm selfish, I've gone blind
You're wrong, but I can't tell that dear
'Cause remember
Remember what I told
I said everything will eventually die
For your good, now I have to die
Believe me, not our love

The never existed
souvenirs of us
I was
Ready for you to cause
me any kind of pain
or loss
But you
never even realized
that I exist
So I stopped

I loved you,
You didn't love me back
I needed you,
You didn't need me back
So please tell me
How kind of a revenge is that?

So, I stopped
Stopped waiting for your love
I stopped getting into your charm
I stopped thinking of the harm
you gave me, instead of your love

The never existed
souvenirs of us
I'm very sure of that
You don't remember me
But I still can't see
Why
You couldn't just love me

I just don't understand what you feel
First, you're here
Then, you're gone
You act like you've got nothing done
You're always in a hurry
Always in a rush
You act like you've got no one to love
But
I'm here
And I always will be
I know future is not trustworthy
But I got something to hold onto
I got you
But I wish I got you, in my arms
Because
I want to feel your touch
Your hands' cold or warmth of your heart
But then
Again
You're just,
gone